I'm in between "too old for a baby" and "too young to be Grandma".

Yesterday, baby Jesse James came to stay with me. 30 lbs. of fun wrapped up in a peeing and pooping bundle. It's funny when your "baby" is almost 18, you forget what having a one year old is like.

We pulled in the driveway and Jordan came out to meet us, so I handed Jesse off to him, handed him the diaper bag, got the Pack N Play out of the trunk, along with the bag of clothes/bottles and the drum full of baby toys. Yes, it took two of us to get one of us in the house. Jordan said "How did you do this without me to help you with me when I was little???", and I said "Because whenever I took you somewhere, there was always another adult willing to carry you and the diaper bag into the house".

So, it officially takes two of us to figure out how to put the damn Pack N Play up. Honestly! Meanwhile I had sat Jesse on the couch because the dogs were attacking him, and as Jordan and I are fighting with the PnP, he says "Mom!" and I turn around and Jesse is about to dive off the couch head first. I grabbed him by a handful of pajamas before he hit the ground (Sorry, Jenny! I forgot to tell you this part!) and he looked up at me with this look that clearly said "Dumb Ass. I'm one. Don't turn your back on me!"

It was a look very similar to this:


Jordan was like "Great, Mom, he's been here 15 minutes and already you almost broke him".

So...we get the PnP up and working, and get Jesse's toys in there, so that it's ready to play in...and we begin the first round of "Watch the baby walk around the coffee table and giggle".


He soon tires of entertaining us in this manner, so I put him in the PnP with his bottle. He hangs out for awhile, decides he'd rather walk around the coffee table some more, and maybe grab a bite to eat.

Eating was an adventure. I didn't have a high chair or a seat of any sort, so I sat him on my lap and attempted to give him some Turkey & Rice stuff. Again, it's been 17 years since I had a baby this size in the house, so I forgot all about that little spoon grabbing thing they do. Well, combine Sumo Baby with a bad case of the wiggles, me holding him on my lap and trying to feed him orange baby food...and with in seconds I had more of it on me than he did in his tummy. Jesse is quite the smart baby...he knew if he grabbed the spoon, got food all over his hands, and aimed them at my face, I'd scream and pull away and he'd laugh and spit orange everywhere. Meanwhile, the dogs would try to lick the food off his hands, which was grossing me out. (We all know that I'm not a dog person, even though I have two of them) One time I tried hold his hands down while I fed him a bite, and he gave me another one of those looks..."Dumb Ass, I'm one. Do you really think this is going to work?"

(There are no pictures of eating, as I already had my hands full)

Mealtime over, we sat on the floor on a blanket and played toys for awhile, and Jesse was so tired he was about to fall over. I put him in the PnP and gave him a bottle, and this was the end result:



After a nice refreshing nap, we had a photo shoot. Fortunately, Jesse doesn't mind the whole picture taking thing. Unfortunately, my iPhone camera is very sensitive to movement, and well you know a baby doesn't exactly stay very still. So 90% of the pictures I took had blurs as he turned his head just as I snapped the picture.

But I got a couple of cute ones...



What's with the horns he's throwing me? Is that a baby gang sign?



Finally, after an hour of being a super model, he gave me this look, which clearly said "Dumb Ass. I'm one. If you take another picture of me, I'm leaving."



So I took one anyway. And here is the end result...



Guess he wasn't kidding.