I wink at him the other day because he's kind of cute in a "Sopranos meets Tom Hanks" way.
He responds:
Hi back Julie... (and,Hi front Julie too)...*tell me you didn't see that one coming*
I like your profile, you are quick witted, which will make us understand one another quite well, if not fighting for the same quick one-liner... I like your sense of humor, just the fact that you acknowledge you have one is right up my alley...
I was divorced in August of 2007, it has been a rough one, kids involved and an ex that has done a darn good job alienating them from me, including moving them across the country to Washington state, which ironically, the court didn't have much to say about... why is that? Oh well, to say she is meddlesome is not accurate... she doesn't bother speaking for herself... she's poisoned my kids to do that for her, especially our eldest who is 16. I don't want you to run away fearing a drama, because I've done quite well keeping it from that. We don't speak at all, but, I will not stop working towards reconciliation with my children...you are a mother, I think you probably understand the premise there.
At any rate, I love your smile, your eyes are very nice and your red hair is VERY, VERY NICE... and, I love, love, love your proximity... I mean, you have a pretty nice package too.. uhm, your baggage is appealing...uhm, what you bring to the table is very attractive. The kicker... no pun intended, is the football Saturday thing... NOW we're talking icing on the cake... where have you been all my life Julie? pop the cork... Next week is going to be a doozy in East Lansing!
Let's talk... and thank you for introducing yourself... you certainly are a welcome sight for sore eyes. *smile*
So, while it's a little heavy handed with the compliments and innuendos, not to mention he possesses the ex-wife from hell evidently (red flag!!!), I decide to cut the dude some slack and so I respond, throwing out a little bit of football knowledge in the process:
Thanks for responding!
Yeah, I find humor in most things. It's the only way to get through life!
Sounds like your divorce was a rough one. Mine was no picnic either. I've been divorced for three years and took the time to get my head on straight before I decided to dive back into the dating pool. So here I am...
As for OSU...let me just say I think Pryor needs to stop trying to be a running back and stick with what he does best. It's nice that he can scramble when needed but yesterday was a sore reminder that he really is just a freshman and has a long way to go. I just wish our defense would show up more often. Every Saturday I imagine Laurenaitis is thinking to himself "I gave up millions to stay here for this???"
(For those readers not from Ohio, we're talking about the Ohio State Buckeyes, and Pryor is their freshman quarterback and Laurenaitis is a fabulous defensive guy who should have left last year for the NFL but stayed one more season to try and win another National Championship. Which probably isn't possible at this point!)
So this is his response to mine:
I agree... but, we have two things going on. Pryor is definitely a mobile QB... but, Ohio State has had to flip back from Todd as QB, pass first... run only if you have to... to PRYOR who we knew was equally as effective as a runner and a passer. He had the same amount of yards running as he did passing in High School.
So, the dilemma... we have a strong receiving corp, and, the best RB in the country. I think Pryor needs to learn how to use all of the dimensions of the game mixing long ball, Gonzo shorties across the middle and option sweep keepers with option sweep lateral to Wells and Wells right up the gut... If we can use them all and he learns the value of that option, we will look more like USC than Troy.
The Defense is a mystery. FREEMAN is playing above himself lately after not showing even a whimper early and JL and everyone else came back because they wanted that national championship chance... the way the top 10 have been toppling, we might still have a shot, but, the D has to start shutting down the opponents and in so doing keeping the O on the field to develop our young QB.
It will come... Michigan State is not Patsy... especially not in E. LANSING... and PENN STATE is for REAL!!!
How are you today?
Um, hello. I'm not a freaking sports analyst for ESPN. Reading this made my head hurt! I didn't respond. I couldn't find my playbook, so I decided to run the option. In this case, the option was not responding!
So today, he sends me cyber roses. Let me say that again. Cyber roses. Red, of course. Dude, show some originality at least. Does that crap actually impress women? Wow, he cares enough to press a button and send a girl fake flowers that I can enjoy on my monitor!! Woohoo! Hopefully next he'll buy me a cyber drink and maybe I can lick the margarita salt off the screen!!!!!
Oh, and the note with the cyber roses said:
I still can't wipe off the goo-goo grin that claims my face, every time I see your picture. You are simply irresistable. Have a wonderful day!
Next.
24 comments:
Well at least you got him off whining about his divorce and onto sports.
#1
Oh he's not that bad...
Of course, he's confused when he's talking about Gonzo shorties...Gonzo effing graduated (unless he thinks there are now plays named after a dude who just graduated a couple of years ago...).
Anyway--he might not be horrible. A little cheesy, yes, but maybe he's got a normal side to him?
@allison...Maybe. Do you want to share my cyber roses with me?
For me, a little too strong out the gate..but could be OK. Cyber roses? Damn, I have never gotten those from my H, and the real ones don't come very often.
I think he has some smarts because he thinks you are beautiful and appreciates your humor. Maybe you should have made a funny and responed "zzzzzzzzzzzHUH? Oh, are you done? Sorry you lost me with ESPN analysis. ha"
He will either like your spunk or think you are a bitch, either way you win. YOU ARE HILARIOUS!!! Justtreat him like you do us and kid around. If he can't take a joke, then you don' want to fu-date him anyway. heh
@JJBB...can't you just fix me up and do all this "get to know you stuff" and when you find me a good one, we'll tag team and I'll jump in?
I'd much rather have the sports analyst than the 40-something-living-with-my-brother-never-been-married-making-$30,000-guy!!
well the 2 year old in me wants to say "you started it". you showed him you had football knowledge and he 'ran with it'. i would talk to him again and just tell him what you told us. you like the sport but slow down a bit on the commentating.
he seems kinds sweet to me and i probably would fall for the cyber rose. mostly cause he was at least thinking about me enough to send it. but i'm dorky like that.
i vote for you talking to him again and giving him one more shot. (not that my vote matters)
Honestly, he doesn't seem too bad to me.
OK, I'll give #2 another chance. But he's on the bubble. LOL
I'm so mad...I had a long post headed to you and Google or something fainted.
Either way, I said, "Give him one more chance."
He may have been trying to show off a little once he found out that you knew your stuff. *ahem..football...
He does have great taste and apparently feels the chemistry because why else would he have mentioned popping the cork so soon??? Do you think he already hears wedding bells? Wait, that might be the ice cream man!
The ex from hell conversation...hopefully, he will leave that out of the conversation instead of going on and on about it.
One of my "dates" was like that. I got tired of being his therapist and ex analyst. Obviously, I wasn't getting paid to do those jobs!!
If he doesn't work out, you can send him a cyber lemon to make cyber lemondade!
I will be your Cireno and feed you the lines to say to him. I must warn you though, I have lost the desire to impress people. My issue I don't want to make anyone mad at me.
Me thinks this guy is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy better than the juicer :)
I can handle some football talk but I think you should do like Jill said and poke fun at it.
@AABB....Almost *anyone* is better than the juicer!!!! That story made me want to...spit. LOL
I liked him. You asked for it when you said you liked OSU. I think he was thinking you were THAT into OSU. I'd give him a shot. Sure cyber roses are cheesy, but I bet if he could send you real roses he would. I'd love flowers any day of the week and at this point I'd take any kind. HA!
I was with him in the first email, he seemed genuine and nervous. I was with him in the second email, maybe a bit to technical but he obviously thought you wanted to talk football... I even was with him on the cyber rose. But... the note? "I still can't wipe off the goo-goo grin that claims my face, every time I see your picture. You are simply irresistable. Have a wonderful day! " EEW! Vomit!! Anyone who falls that fast, I just don't trust.
My initial thought was RUN RUN RUN!!!
A little overbearing for me...
Hmmm... I'm waiting to read #3.
~AirmanMom returning to her blog...
Too bad you used the "vomit in my mouth" line on the previous guy. His rose comment deserved it too!
Dude. That's all. Dude.
1. I'm glad that my head wasn't the only one that hurt after all that football crap. Maybe he thought you were someone who was actually *into* football, rather than someone who is *into watching the game and gettin' some drink on*?
2. Ronny sent me cyber roses in IM. I still have the screen cap. 'Nuff said.
3. Shouldn't he be asking about YOU rather than "me, me, divorce, me, children, poor me, football, football, football, goo goo grin (who SAYS THIS?), me, me, me"?
4. I don't have four points LOL
You're braver than me (okay, bad english)...
I'm with Buckeyebabe99.
I don't like guys that come on too strong in the begining.
But what do I know? I haven't been on a date in 3 years.
When I read his football analysis, I pictures him suited up in a football uniform.
Black under his eyes and all:)
at least this one speaks. he does lay it on a little thick, but hey i dated a guy like that, and I grew accustomed to that.
however his response quickly became a sport commentary. he lost me there too.
and you do have a great smile and *sparkly eyes*.
hmmm.....he might be a good back-up plan...or not. Maybe if he could think up something to talk about besides football ~ gonna give it another chance?
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