The carpet doesn't match the drapes.

I got new carpet this weekend. I could not be happier.

The old stuff was ruined by two little 6 lb dogs that pee all over it. I could never understand WHY they did that...they never did at the old house, but yet they used my living room like it was their own personal backyard.

The carpet installer found a spot on the floor that had cat urine all over it. WTF?

I have never had a cat. I will never have a cat. But evidently the owners before me did, and it pissed all over the carpet in one corner...thus leading MY dogs to mark their territory.

And you know dogs, once that happened, it was all over.

So we cleaned and bleached the floor and replaced all the carpet strip so that there is no smell left anywhere.

And I dare those little fuckers to pee in my living room again.

If they do, I'll have two very small Yorkie fur rugs in the future.

(Oh, and it's been 48 hours with no accidents. I think they fear for their lives. And they should!)

Can we all agree.....

...to stop making people like this rich and famous by buying tabloids and watching TV shows on their lives??????? My God, this woman has done NOTHING and yet she makes $35 million a year, and all she is famous for is a sex tape, and now a short lived marriage that makes a mockery out of the institution. It's insanity, and it needs to stop.

Wake me up when September ends.

So, it's September. Thought I'd better do an update before you guys think I fell off the face of the earth.

September is notoriously weird month for me. Usually just an emotionally crazy ten days thanks to....

Got married Sept 20, 2003
Dad died Sept 18, 2004
Got divorced Sept 28, 2005

This year we can add....

Jordan goes away to college Sept 16, 2010

Sigh.

Oh, and we're moving our offices this month, and I'm pretty much managing the whole thing, which is so time consuming and crazy I can't even tell you.

Oh, and I'm having a going away party for Jordan next Friday, the 10th. So I have to take a day off work just to clean house and prepare for it.

Big sigh.

So here is my burst of positivity....

All is perfect, everything will get done on time and as it should, and those milestone dates will come and go just like they do every year.

Mom isn't doing too good. We had her back at the ER on Monday. Honestly, I cannot believe she is still with us. She's down to 130 lbs from 165 a couple of months ago. She hardly eats, sleeps most of the time, and is becoming more confused. She has been fighting pneumonia for three weeks and of course, the continually recurring UTI. God bless her, she just isn't ready to go I guess. She says she is, and then the next day she talks about "when I get better..." so I think she's still got one foot in both worlds, you know? It breaks my heart to see her like this, but at the same time, I can't imagine a world without my Mom in it. I don't think I ever showed you guys this (although some might have seen it on Facebook). On her birthday August 20th, I videotaped her. Here's a little snippet.



And here's a picture of me and her from that day as well:

And this one makes me laugh out loud. You know she's thinking "Seriously, a party hat? Oh Christ, I guess I'll humor you." LOL

I really am afraid that I'm going to lose her this month as well. September seems to be that way for me.

But there is a bright spot in this....

I am happily dating. He's an old boyfriend from 13 and 12 years ago (yes, we dated twice two years in a row) so let's hope third time is a charm. LOL He's really a great guy, the polar opposite of who I've spent the past 10 years with. We've been moving slow this past month because I just wasn't ready to leap back in, but he convinced me otherwise last weekend. :::wink::: I'm really happy right now, and just enjoying the day to day of having someone in my life who brings such amazingly good things to it. It's good and it's easy and it's comfortable and the best part about dating someone you've dated before is that you don't have to go through the whole "getting to know you" process so there's no awkwardness or putting on pretenses etc. It's organic and fabulous! Happy sigh.

So there's your update from me. I'll probably be out of pocket quite a bit this month, because I'm not kidding when I say that work is kicking my ass. And, of course, I'm busy with That Guy Again on the weekends. Some things take priority and these days, blogging isn't one of them!!!

Tell me what's going on in your life?

Finish the sentence. I dare you....

OK, I'll play.

Hi, my name is: Julie...Jules...Anastasia Beaverhausen...Helena Handbasket...Regis...Mom...Jewelry....depends on who's talking to me or what board I'm on!

I've never been to: Spain. But I kinda like the music...

I hate it when: I look in the mirror, expecting to see a 30'ish year old hot mama, and instead there's some old'ish woman looking back at me! Honestly, it shocks me every single time! I'm fast approaching the big FIVE OH, and my face looks every second of it. But my mind is still somewhere in my 30's! I need the two to make peace with each other!

The one person who can drive me nuts is: My ex. Just knowing he's breathing can make me insane. LOL Never in my life has anyone known every possible button to push like he does. Good news is I haven't seen him in three months. I'm much more well adjusted now!

When I'm nervous: I can't sit still. I pace. I shake my right leg. I bite at my fake nails. And my bottom lip. And I breathe really hard. (Ironically I do most of these same things during sex.) (I think.) (I can't really remember that far back.)

The last song I listened to was: "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves". Random, I know. I was scanning Sirius stations on the way into work and it was on the 70's one.

If I were to get married today my maid of honor/best man would: Nobody. I'd be at the drive thru wedding chapel in Vegas.

My hair is: As big as I can get it. I haven't outgrown the 80's mall look yet. However it keeps getting thinner as I get older, so height is becoming an issue.

When I was 5: My older sister told me that I was adopted and made me cry. Then she said "Oh for God's sake, if you were adopted we'd have sent you back by now!" And that made me cry harder. Bitch.

Last Christmas: I have no idea what happened last Christmas. Hell I can't remember last weekend.

I should be: Making millions as I type. But I'm not. Blogging doesn't pay well.

When I look down: I wonder where my feet are.

The happiest recent event was: Jordan getting accepted at UC. It's the most exciting time of his life and it makes me happy.

My current annoyance is: Lack of real estate clients. How am I supposed to pay off my bills and travel if nobody is buying/selling houses? Come on, people. I need a stimulus package of my own!

I have a hard time understanding: Euchre. I just can't grasp it. Seriously, I am not *that* stupid but that game confused the bejeezus out of me.

There's this girl that I know: Who needs to kick her husband's ass from here to Cleveland. I'll help. He is making ME never want to get married again.

The thing I want to buy is: A new face. I never thought I'd be bothered by lines and wrinkles but I'm telling you, this past year my face has driven me nuts. As one of my friends said...it's matured tremendously! LOL I'm saving for some work, I'm just telling you now. I have become *that* vain.

If you visited the place I'm from: And the police were called, they'd be dispatched to you by my BFF Cheri.

Most recent thing I've bought myself: Lotion and body spray. Yeah, something that trivial is newsworthy.

Most recent thing someone else bought me was: He brought Greek salads over and we hung out watching TV. It was a nice evening.

My middle name is: Denise. If I were a boy it would have been Denephew.

Last night I was: Clearing out my DVR and getting caught up on my favorite shows.

If I was an animal I'd be: A black bear. Let's face it, I like fur, I look good in black, and I have no problems whatsoever laying around all winter long.

Tomorrow I am: Get a pedicure after work. Yay!

Tonight I am: Going to probably see That Guy Again.

Finish the sentence...I dare you.

Love my new iPhone 4

Not sure about hi def photos though!

Hang in there, buddy.

After losing a sister to a massive brain bleed and stroke, I hate to hear of this happening to anyone.

Especially my Rock of Love.

I've been a Bret Michaels fan since the 80's and Poison, and I've enjoyed seeing him have a "resurgence" of fame this past few years with Rock of Love etc.

And you know I'm wanting him to win Celebrity Apprentice.

I truly pray that he survives whatever is going on with him right now and is able to go on and live a full and productive life. Unfortunately, I know it's bad, because I recognize too many of the doctor's words to think that this is going to have a happy ending.

But I sure hope it will. I really, really do.

The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia

Dixie Carter, aka Julia Sugarbaker, passed away this weekend.

My inner gay man mourns.

If I was from the South, I'd have been Julie Sugarbaker. I'm just sayin.

This is one of my favorite "rants" of all time.



Rest in peace, Ms. Carter.

It's not you, it's me.

It seems I have lost my blogging mojo.

I used to blog every day, because I enjoyed doing it.

Recently it's been every few days, because I just don't have anything interesting to say.

To be totally honest, I'm hardly ever reading other blogs on my daily reading list either. I seem to be in total Blog Rejection Mode.

Not sure why I'm in such a slump.

But it's not you, it's me.

I appreciate all of you who continue to read and comment, and hopefully my passion for writing this blog will kick back in soon.

Hang in there with me.

I'll be back.

Is this thing loaded?

Watch out folks, I'm armed and dangerous.

That's right, I'm packing heat.

OK not really, at least not *yet*. But last night was the first of four NRA gun classes I'm taking to get my conceal carry license.

Why, you might ask, do I feel the need to carry a gun?

I don't. LOL

My boss wanted to take the class and didn't want to take it by himself so he paid for me to go as well.

I love shooting though, and I'm not bad at it.

Monday night is our class at the gun range, and I'm so excited!

Thing is, I've always been a little afraid of guns. My ex always had them at the house and he took me shooting several times, but I've always worried about it going off accidentally and hurting or killing me someone, so I feel better learning the best way to handle them, clean them, and de-cock it if I need to (I just love saying de-cock. It sounds so....funny. LOL).

They say knowledge is power, so knowing what to do with that thing is good.

I'm gonna feel pretty powerful with a .38 in my hands next week.

How many of you like to shoot? Tell me your stories....

Sons of Anarchy Rocks My World

Seriously.

If you don't watch this show, you're nuts. Just read about it here so I don't have to write a four page blog about it.

It is the best fucking show on TV. It's on FX, which brings you my other favorite show, Rescue Me, and I just watched the Season Two Finale last night.

Oh. My. God.

Halfway through the show I kept putting the DVR on pause because I didn't want to get to the end and the season be over (you know how hard breaking up is for me!), plus I was half afraid of how it was going to end anyway and leave me hanging for another 10 months.

Sure enough, at the last scene I was on my couch screaming "Noooooooooooo!"

Thank God it's been renewed for a third season. It just can't start soon enough for me.

I don't know if they will start this season over in reruns now or what (I assume so but what do I know?), but for sure you can rent the first season on DVD and at least get started on it.

I highly recommend you do so. You have no idea what you're missing.

Kurt Sutter and his crew rock my world, baby.

More fun shit to ponder

You know I always love a good ponder. Got these in an email a few weeks ago and have been saving them for brain cramp day. Tada! Today's the day I have nothing better to blog about!!!!

Enjoy!

• A day without sunshine is like night.
• On the other hand, you have different fingers.
• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
• 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
• Remember, half the people you know are below average.
• The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
• Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
• If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
• How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
• Speed of Light? OK, so what's the speed of dark?
• When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
• Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
• How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
• 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name
• He who laughs last, thinks slowest
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
• Change is inevitable, except from vending machines
• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
• What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

I'm a frickin genius!!!! ***UPDATED****

OK wait...

...so I think I just figured out how everyone else does posts with different fonts and colors!!!  

A year and a half blogging, 

500+ posts and

I'm just now figuring this out!!!!

I'm all damn excited!!!!!

OK so the way to do it is....when you open up the window to compose a new post,  the top right used to just have Edit HTML and Preview.  At some point it turned into a 3rd option which is "Compose".  Under that you can picks fonts, colors, etc.  Now, I also remember last night that under the Settings tab, the Basics, at the bottom it says "Global Editor" and there is an option to pick the updated Editor which I believe is why I have this new "Compose" feature.


Or not.  Who the hell knows.


All I know is now I know how to pretty up my posts!  Yay!

The Good Wife

So have you guys seen the promo ads for this new show? It looks fabulous for many reasons!!!!

First of all, it's got Mr. Big Chris Noth in it. Hello! Love him! Tall, dark and handsome....yum. I just want to climb to the top and have a seat.

(Think about that one for a minute, you'll laugh when it kicks in)

And Julianna Margulies (she's one of my girl crushes, FYI) plays a wife and mother who must assume full responsibility for her family and re-enter the workforce after her husband's very public sex scandal and political corruption lands him in jail.

There is something kind of identifiable for me in this show. Alicia (Margulies) basically has to transform herself from embarrassed politician's scorned wife to resilient career woman, especially for the sake of providing a stable home for her teenage children. In essence, she trades in her identity as the "good wife" and takes charge of her own destiny.

I can identify. I was a Good Wife! And then I became an embarrassed business owner's scorned wife who had to provide a stable home life for my (then) 14 year old son, and take charge of my own destiny after my husband's very public affair sex scandal and moral corruption!!!!!!

Unfortunately, my husband didn't look anything like this (for something this hot, I could put up with a whole lotta crap. I'm just sayin.):



But we all know I'm this gorgeous. My God the resemblence is uncanny!



Here's a little preview of the show. Looks great, doesn't it?



So get it on your calendars, peeps. Tuesday, September 22nd. 10pm EST.

There will be a quiz afterwards.

Well this is one way to do it.

Who needs to forward emails when you have a blog to use as your platform? I'm not big on political stances and religious discussions however, I found this to be a very interesting read. I'm not trying to force my political viewpoint on anyone nor am I questioning your particular values when it comes to what God you choose to (or not to) believe in. This is just a perspective that I enjoyed reading.

Take from it what you will.

I have no idea how much of this, if any, was written by Ben Stein, and how much has been changed and modified by people before emailing it on to their friends. So I'm not saying it's accurate as far as who wrote it, but the message is still interesting nonetheless.

The following was alledgedly written by Ben Stein and supposedly recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Hurricane Katrina).. Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'

In light of recent events.... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said okay.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not, then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

Due to lack of interest....

Today's blog post has been cancelled.

By the way, the lack of interest is mine. I've just got nothing to say. I'm swamped at work, I don't have time to read anyone else's blogs, and I feel really disconnected right now.

Don't worry, I'll be back when I feel like I have something to entertain you with.

Just not today.

Tuesdays in the blog with Julie

Yea real original with the title there, Jules. Clearly my creativity is at an all time high.

Not.

I've been so damn busy! It's good busy...and it's making me money busy...so I am not complaining!

But it's keeping me from having the motivation to blog, and God knows I don't have the time to read all of yours. Usually I manage to get caught up on my blog reading over the weekend, but didn't even have time for that this weekend. My Google Reader has like 800 unread blog entries!!!!

So thank you to all of you who continue to make time to read me and comment. I really do appreciate it.

So I now have two buyers in contract. Yay! No offer on the condo yet but I am keeping the faith that it's coming.

Still not dating. Sigh. I miss that a lot.

This was a bad WW weekend. I ate this week's worth of points in pepperoni pizza on Friday night and next week's points in Fiesta Ranch dip and potato chips yesterday at Maggie's party.

I'm afraid of the scale on Wednesday. I should probably just skip it and protect my wardrobe...

The Missing Puzzle Piece

My horoscope for today:

Ever been on the verge of finishing a jigsaw puzzle only to discover the last piece has gone missing? And remember how frustrating it feels to not find it after hours of searching, only to discover it a day later hiding under the sofa's dust ruffle? A small but possibly life-changing piece of your own personal puzzle will fall into place, but only when you're not hunting for it. Don't try and force this; it'll happen quite nicely on its own.

Interesting.

I thought it was worth a blog post of it's own, seeing how my whole theme here is "one puzzling piece at a time".

In other news....

I had a showing on my condo last night and I have another showing tonight! PRAY PRAY PRAY that I get an offer on this thing! My renter is moving out the end of September and I am ready to let it go. So I ask all of my readers, send some good vibes my way, will you? That one of these showings results in an offer and a contract!

Also, I am working with a new buyer, and of course Crystal's house will finally close on the 17th.

Real Estate is becoming my friend!

Wonder if that's the missing piece? Eh, I don't care what it is, as long as whatever is missing is GOOD.

Sorry, I prematurely posted!

If you see a post called "I can do this" in your reader and it disappeared, come back tomorrow. It will post again in the morning!

href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank">

It ain't pretty, people.

You are witnesses to history.

For the first time in at least 20 years, probably closer to 25...I have no fake nails.

OK technically this might be the 2nd time, I seem to recall a year ago taking them all off one night but I was back at the nail salon the next day.

This time, I'm going to try and keep them off for awhile. I cut them all down last night, and then went and had the rest of the nails ripped soaked off this evening.

Do you realize that I have spent about at least $9,500 in twenty years on nails??? And that's probably a conservative cost estimate, based on one balance a month for 240 months. That's insane!

The biggest problem I have is that I can't type worth shit now. I am so used to long nails, that my keystroke reach is shorter than normal. Now, with no nails...I have no speed or accuracy!

I probably should have thought of this before now.

Head in the game, Julie!

And yes, I corrected all the spelling errors in this post...and it took me twice as long to type it!

This is going to take a lot of getting used to.

My nails are paper thin. Any ideas how long it takes them to grow out and become strong again?

Note to self: Sally Hansen's Hard As Nails...isn't.

I guess it's a good thing nobody is holding my hand these days.

It's just not pretty.

I could not say it better

I got some flack the other day for posting my displeasure at the hoopla surrounding Michael Jackson's death, and the what I consider unnecessary abundance of media coverage surrounding it.

Today I got an email that I feel needs posted. As always I welcome your comments, and I expect that not everyone shares my point of view.

Regardless, I hope you understand the message.

Yes, Michael Jackson did pass away a week ago,

...and so did:

Army SSG Paul G Smith, 43, of East Peoria, IL
Army SSG Joshua A Melton, 26, of Carlyle, IL
Army SPC Chancellor A Keesling, 25, of Indianapolis, IN
Navy MCPO Jeffrey J Garber, 43, of Hemingford, NE
Army 1SG John D Blair, 38, of Calhoun, GA Army
SGT Ricky D Jones, 26, of Plantersville, AK
Army SGT Rodrigo A Munguia Rivas, 27, of Germantown, MD
Army SPC Casey L Hills, 23, of Salem, IL
Army 1LT Brian N Bradshaw, 24, of Steilacoom, WA
Army SPC Joshua L Hazlewood, 22, of Manvel, TX

***********


This is written by a young soldier serving his third tour of duty in Iraq. Thought you might find his take on the Michael Jackson news interesting.


"Okay, I need to rant.

I was just watching the news, and I caught part of a report on Michael Jackson. As we all know, Jackson died the other day. He was an entertainer who performed for decades. He made millions, he spent millions, and he did a lot of things that make him a villian to many people. I understand that his death would affect a lot of people, and I respect those people who mourn his death, but that isn't the point of my rant.

Why is it that when ONE man dies, the whole of America loses their minds with grief. When a man dies whose only contribution to the country was to ENTERTAIN people, the Amercian people find the need to flock to a memorial in Hollywood, and even Congress sees the need to hold a "moment of silence" for his passing?

Am I missing something here? ONE man dies, and all of a sudden he's a freaking martyr because he entertained us for a few decades? What about all those SOLDIERS who have died to give us freedom? All those Soldiers who, knowing that they would be asked to fight in a war, still raised their hands and swore to defend the Constitution and the United States of America.

Where is their moment of silence? Where are the people flocking to their graves or memorials and mourning over them because they made the ultimate sacrifice? Why is it when a Soldier dies, there are more people saying "good riddance," and "thank God for IEDs?" When did this country become so calloused to the sacrifice of GOOD MEN and WOMEN, that they can arbitrarily blow off their deaths, and instead, throw themselves into mourning for a "Pop Icon?"

I think that if they are going to hold a moment of silence IN CONGRESS for Michael Jackson, they need to hold a moment of silence for every service member killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. They need to PUBLICLY recognize every life that has been lost so that the American people can live their callous little lives in the luxury and freedom that WE, those that are living and those that have gone on, have provided for them. But, wait, that would take too much time, because there have been so many willing to make that sacrifice. After all, we will never make millions of dollars. We will never star in movies, or write hit songs that the world will listen too. We only shed our blood, sweat and tears so that people can enjoy what they have.

Sorry if I have offended, but I needed to say it. Remember these five words the next time you think of someone who is serving in the military;

"So that others may live..."


-Isaac
A US Soldier

God bless you, Isaac, and all of our service men and women.

In other news...I won't be posting this weekend as I'm headed to Chicago for the Nascar race! I'll be back Monday with pictures and details!

One last thing....please keep my friend "E" in your prayers. He lost his mother this week, and lost his father just a couple of months ago. Please send him strength to get through the rough days ahead.

Have a great weekend!