Comfort Zones and A Love Story

OK so you guys know I am always offering up my blog to guest bloggers. I figure you guys would love a break from my mundane posting so today I am thrilled to introduce my long time, dear friend Lee Ann as my guest blogger!!!!

Lee Ann and I have known each other for most of our lives. We met when I was about nine and moved to Logan, Ohio. She was one of my first friends, and we were inseparable. After graduation we lost touch with each other and last summer we were lucky enough to find each other again. You might remember this post describing our reunion.

Anyway, I twisted her arm and convinced her to write a blog post for me, so here it is. And when you get done reading, go to her blog and become a follower. She's someone you need to get to know.

Without further ado, please welcome Lee Ann to the 47 Stage!!!!

Comfort Zones and a Love Story

Julie has asked me to guest blog quite a few times. I have never been able to find the right topic. I have trouble coming up with topics for my own blog and I really didn't want to come over here and bore y'all to death! But, Julie's CZ challenge is intriguing to me. The goal is for her to be comfortable and happy being single and doing things by herself. While she is out there enjoying herself, she could very well run across Mr. Right. We know he sometimes (usually) comes along when we're not looking.

I have been married and divorced twice. Not really something I am proud of, but it is what it is. I can assure you that the fault of the failed marriages is not mine! Ok maybe some, in that I made really bad choices. After that last adventure, I thought if that was the kind of men that were out there in the dating pool perhaps I should just sit it out or go play elsewhere. Inspite of the 20 years married (in total), I have had lots of experience being single too. I have always been attracted to a guy who was taller than me (I'm 5'10") and older than me (I'm 50). There was other criteria, but I wouldn't even take a second look if they didn't pass those first two items.

I've always been big into AOL (a charter member for 19 years now) I had chatted online, for a few years, with a really nice guy. My 2nd marriage finally got put out of its misery in '06. A few months later my friend mentioned that we should meet for real sometime - how fun would that be!? I agreed. We made arrangements to meet for dinner. So we set up the time and place. When the agreed time came he called me (I'd never heard his voice until that moment) and we chatted all the way to the restaurant. He had a nice voice. I got there first and I parked with my car aimed out. I think that was so I could see him coming and make a fast get away if I needed to. (We had chatted for a few years, but it had been so long since we had done the what's your name/what do you look like thing I had forgotten all of that about him. After all this time I was too embarrassed to ask him again. So yup - I was meeting someone whose first name I didn't even know). He pulled up beside me in the parking lot. He got out of his truck. Holy shit! He didn’t have any gray hair and he must be all of 5'3"!!! I thought - this isn't good – too young & too short - I gotta find a way to get out of here!!! But something else was nagging at me - he had always been SO nice online. I really didn't want to hurt his feelings and just run off. Besides it was just dinner as friends. So I stayed.

The next day he sent me a really nice email about what a good time he had a dinner - he signed his name to it, so that mystery was cleared up (whew!). He wound up being 5 years younger than me. And though he is shorter than me he is actually 5'7". AND I found out that he was lived 3 (THREE) blocks from me (Fate stopped just short {haha} of placing him directly on my doorstep for me). It turns out that staying that night for dinner , learning more and stepping outside of my comfort zone was one of the BEST decisions I had made in a very long time. We have been pretty much inseparable since then. In '08 we bought a house together and are living happily ever after. We treat each other with love and respect (something I almost forgot how to do) and we truly enjoy being together. Who knew?

I write this because I wish the very best for my dear friend, Julie. In previous posts of hers I have read that she isn't much into men shorter than her. The point to all of this is - Jules, while you are wandering outside of your comfort zone anyway, don't disregard those guys who might be a bit outside of that zone either.

C was right there under my nose for a long time and I might have missed him I hadn't stepped outside of my comfort zone just a little. I never really think about our differences anymore because we have so much else in common.

Most men are just gonna stare at your boobs anyway, so why have them get a crick in their neck doing it? Ya never know!

My friends rock, don't they?

And no, you cannot ask her for dirt on me. She's contractually bound to say nothing but nice things, even if she has to lie.

Well that didn't quite work out the way I'd planned.

So the Inaugural Comfort Zone Challenge was a bust!

It snowed here Friday and by evening we had somewhere between 8" and 10". Needless to say, I didn't venture out of my house comfort zone all evening.

And then Saturday I got the brilliant idea to shovel my driveway, as the weather forecasters insisted I should because the temp was going to drop into single digits last night and freeze it all.

So I did it.

And within two hours was flat on my back on the couch. There was no comfort zone to be had!

Yeah, people with three herniated disks really should not shovel snow.  Guess I should have waited on Jordan to get home from work.

I know better, I really do. But I'd been feeling all empowered with the whole CZ Challenge idea and my motivation carried over into feeling like Superwoman with a Shovel. 

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaad idea.

It got substantially worse when I realized my supply of pain meds was empty.

Sigh.

Several frantic phone calls to friends and family later, I got hooked up with some pharmaceuticals, and spent the rest of the day horizontal on my couch.

Today was better, I could at least walk upright, without crying like a girl too much pain.

So here I sit (yes, I can sit up now instead of laying down!) getting ready to watch the Super Bowl (Go Saints!), having an adult beverage (it's all good, I'm Vicodin free) and plotting my CZ Challenge event for the week.

I'll probably attempt the bar thing again Friday night.

I'll keep you posted.

Mother Nature and the CZ Challenge are not friends.

OK first things first....look to your right!

Check out my new blog button!!!! Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Many thanks to my buddy T at Mad Boastings of a Cheapskate Mom for creating it for me!

Isn't it great???? I'm so damned happy with it! If you're looking for one, be sure to work with her. She's great, she's cheap (and I don't mean in a floozy kind of way!) and does fantastic work! Thanks again, T!

So grab one and take it with you, ok?

And by the way, if you have a button on your site and I've missed it, let me know and I'll add it to mine.

On to the subject at hand....

So my first venture out of my comfort zone is probably going to be postponed. We're getting 4 to 8" of snow today, and I don't see me going to a bar in it tonight.

We'll see how Saturday night's weather is, maybe it can happen then.

If not there's always next Friday. What better time to embrace my singleness than on Valentine's weekend?????

Welcome to Julie's Comfort Zone Challenge

I have to admit, I was shocked by how many of you responded to my previous post about doing things out of my comfort zone.

Seems like I'm not the only one who stays safely in the confines of her quiet little life!

So I'm going to grab the proverbial bull by the horns and as Nike would say...JUST DO IT.

I've decided to challenge myself to do something that takes me out of my comfy little boring world and makes me slightly, if not massively, uncomfortable.

(And no, OHN, it will not start with wearing a bathing suit in public!)

There are plenty of things I'm fine with doing alone. I can go to the bookstore, the coffee shop, shopping, anything like that by myself. I could go to a museum alone (although I never do).

I think f8hasit said it best..."I like being alone sometimes, but not doing social activities alone".

That's my problem.

I have an aversion to doing things solo that most people tend to do coupled up.

Like dinner out. A movie. Going to a bar and listening to a band. See a Broadway play. Go to a concert.

But the thing is, there are a lot of movies I want to see! There are a lot of places I'd love to go for dinner! And there is many a Friday night (most of them actually) that I really want to get out of the house and do something, but because I don't have a date, I stay home and watch TV.

So I've decided, that in light of my 49th birthday being right around the corner (March 22nd, in case anyone wants to send presents), this year I'm going to stop missing out on things just because I'm single.

This year, I'm going to live the life I love.

This year, I'm going to love the life I live!

Tomorrow night, I am going out to a local bar, one that I go to with friends every few months, and I'm going to pull up a bar stool, have a couple of drinks, and listen to some live music.

BY MYSELF.

Next week I'm going to go to this great Mediterranean restaurant that I've been dying to try.

BY MYSELF.

The week after, I'm not sure what exactly I will do yet, but something. Whatever it ends up being, it will be...

BY MYSELF.

I'll be blogging about my solo adventures, so I hope you will continue giving me your feedback, and ideas on things to do!

Wish me luck tomorrow. I'm gonna be pissed if someone slips a Rufie in my drink while I'm in the bathroom though.

Well, unless he's hot, of course.

Out of my comfort zone....

My good friend Linda Lou (who as you know, is my sister separated at birth, and my role model for how to be divorced and loving it. Oh, and one of the funniest women on the planet, currently starring in her own Vegas one-woman show and now acclaimed author!) has thrown down a challenge to me to step out of my comfort zone and blog about it.

I'm giving it some thought.

She suggested I do something like go to a bar by myself, which I do NOT see me doing. (But, never say never!) Hell I don't like to go to bars that much anymore with a group, let alone just me.

I am not good at doing things solo.

For heaven's sake, it took me 47 years to go to a MOVIE by myself! (And it was "He's Just Not That Into You"....oh, the irony!) And even then, I felt self concious the entire time, like people in the rows behind me were shaking their heads in pity thinking I didn't have one friend I could call to go to a movie with!

(Hey, I never said I was sane. You people just assume, because I can carry on a decent conversation, that I am.)

So I am thinking about what I am willing to do to step out of my comfort zone.

It could be something as simple as dinner alone, or as crazy as jumping out of an airplane.

Give me some suggestions. What would getting out of YOUR comfort zone mean?