Guess which one of my friend's this reminds me of?

Go ahead. Guess.

If you follow my buddy Dana at Life Is Good....

STOP right now.

She's no longer there.

(No, she didn't kick the bucket, for God's sake. She's just not blogging on her own blog anymore. LOL)

She was hacked, hijacked, whatever you want to call it, but her blog and email and all kinds of things were taken over by family fucktards people who had no business in her business.

She has a new blog now, so even if you see posts on Life Is Good, it's not her. So don't comment because she won't see them.

In an effort to protect my buddy, I will not post her new blog here. However if you are a follower and want to follow the new one, if you leave me a comment with your email address, I will make sure she gets a hold of you to hook you up.

Nobody deserves the crap she has been going through with "family", but like the Dana we all know and love, she's handling it with class, dignity, and a loaded .22 semiautomatic.

I kid, I kid.

It's a frickin shotgun. Don't mess with her, people.

Have a great weekend, all!

Get yourself to a damn bookstore today!

Look what I just read....

I know a lot of you follow Matt Logelin's blog as I do, and have for three years now.  If you don't, you should.  Get over there and become a follower.  You won't regret it.

Matt's book is being released next week, but some places are already carrying it.  I got mine Tuesday night, and I could not be more excited.  As it is in the blogging world, total strangers become "family" and in Matt's case, he and Maddy are like relatives I just haven't seen for awhile, but I get to follow their lives online.

For those of you who don't know, Matt's daughter was born three years ago, and the next day his wife died suddenly without ever getting to hold their baby, leaving him a grieving new father.  Heartbreaking, but he's truly an amazing guy, and has rocked fatherhood like you wouldn't believe.

Get to a damn bookstore and buy it, or order it somewhere. (You can click on the Amazon link upper right on my blog and purchase it!)

IT'S AMAZING.

Warning, do not bother with mascara while reading this. It will be all over your face.

Trust me.

Admitting you're an asshole is the first step.

Just got a comment on my other blog post from some complete fucktard quirky little fella at a blog about boycotting American women:

"I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don't know how to cook or clean, don't want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN!"

Dear Boycotter:

Thanks for the comment. And allow me to say, with all due respect....fuck off, pencil dick. Chances are there isn't an American woman out there who has any desire to deal with an idiot like you.

Love, Julie.

Gotta love the crazy commenters.

The Mom and the Meet & Greet, etc.

Mom's surgery yesterday was an epic fail. Her kidney was totally obstructed and they could not get the scope or laser in to break up the boulder stone. Her kidney is full of urine that is "sweating" out into her body now, and so they have to go in and manually drain it today, and then in a few days try the procedure again.

It was really tough on her yesterday, clearly the anesthesia was difficult for her. She's having a very rough time, and it breaks my heart to see her either in pain, or just so agitated.

I just pray that this turns out however she wants it to, and what is best for her.

In other news....the Meet & Greet scheduled for Tuesday obviously didn't happen since I spent that entire night in the ER with Mom. He's going to be out of town for a couple of weeks so it's been postponed indefinitely. Which is fine....meeting a guy right now is the last thing on my mind.

One good thing I'd like to mention....I'm so very happy to announce that yesterday my buddy Jaded was blessed with a beautiful little girl. She and her husband have lost two daughters, and I'm just thrilled for them that their dreams have finally come true. Congrats to them all.

I think that's it for now. I'll be back with an update on Mom tomorrow.

Comfort Zones and A Love Story

OK so you guys know I am always offering up my blog to guest bloggers. I figure you guys would love a break from my mundane posting so today I am thrilled to introduce my long time, dear friend Lee Ann as my guest blogger!!!!

Lee Ann and I have known each other for most of our lives. We met when I was about nine and moved to Logan, Ohio. She was one of my first friends, and we were inseparable. After graduation we lost touch with each other and last summer we were lucky enough to find each other again. You might remember this post describing our reunion.

Anyway, I twisted her arm and convinced her to write a blog post for me, so here it is. And when you get done reading, go to her blog and become a follower. She's someone you need to get to know.

Without further ado, please welcome Lee Ann to the 47 Stage!!!!

Comfort Zones and a Love Story

Julie has asked me to guest blog quite a few times. I have never been able to find the right topic. I have trouble coming up with topics for my own blog and I really didn't want to come over here and bore y'all to death! But, Julie's CZ challenge is intriguing to me. The goal is for her to be comfortable and happy being single and doing things by herself. While she is out there enjoying herself, she could very well run across Mr. Right. We know he sometimes (usually) comes along when we're not looking.

I have been married and divorced twice. Not really something I am proud of, but it is what it is. I can assure you that the fault of the failed marriages is not mine! Ok maybe some, in that I made really bad choices. After that last adventure, I thought if that was the kind of men that were out there in the dating pool perhaps I should just sit it out or go play elsewhere. Inspite of the 20 years married (in total), I have had lots of experience being single too. I have always been attracted to a guy who was taller than me (I'm 5'10") and older than me (I'm 50). There was other criteria, but I wouldn't even take a second look if they didn't pass those first two items.

I've always been big into AOL (a charter member for 19 years now) I had chatted online, for a few years, with a really nice guy. My 2nd marriage finally got put out of its misery in '06. A few months later my friend mentioned that we should meet for real sometime - how fun would that be!? I agreed. We made arrangements to meet for dinner. So we set up the time and place. When the agreed time came he called me (I'd never heard his voice until that moment) and we chatted all the way to the restaurant. He had a nice voice. I got there first and I parked with my car aimed out. I think that was so I could see him coming and make a fast get away if I needed to. (We had chatted for a few years, but it had been so long since we had done the what's your name/what do you look like thing I had forgotten all of that about him. After all this time I was too embarrassed to ask him again. So yup - I was meeting someone whose first name I didn't even know). He pulled up beside me in the parking lot. He got out of his truck. Holy shit! He didn’t have any gray hair and he must be all of 5'3"!!! I thought - this isn't good – too young & too short - I gotta find a way to get out of here!!! But something else was nagging at me - he had always been SO nice online. I really didn't want to hurt his feelings and just run off. Besides it was just dinner as friends. So I stayed.

The next day he sent me a really nice email about what a good time he had a dinner - he signed his name to it, so that mystery was cleared up (whew!). He wound up being 5 years younger than me. And though he is shorter than me he is actually 5'7". AND I found out that he was lived 3 (THREE) blocks from me (Fate stopped just short {haha} of placing him directly on my doorstep for me). It turns out that staying that night for dinner , learning more and stepping outside of my comfort zone was one of the BEST decisions I had made in a very long time. We have been pretty much inseparable since then. In '08 we bought a house together and are living happily ever after. We treat each other with love and respect (something I almost forgot how to do) and we truly enjoy being together. Who knew?

I write this because I wish the very best for my dear friend, Julie. In previous posts of hers I have read that she isn't much into men shorter than her. The point to all of this is - Jules, while you are wandering outside of your comfort zone anyway, don't disregard those guys who might be a bit outside of that zone either.

C was right there under my nose for a long time and I might have missed him I hadn't stepped outside of my comfort zone just a little. I never really think about our differences anymore because we have so much else in common.

Most men are just gonna stare at your boobs anyway, so why have them get a crick in their neck doing it? Ya never know!

My friends rock, don't they?

And no, you cannot ask her for dirt on me. She's contractually bound to say nothing but nice things, even if she has to lie.

Help a sister out here, will ya?

OK, Friday confession...I'm not as technology savvy as you'd think.

No, seriously.

(But I'm getting much better at handling a gun!)

Granted, I designed my blog layout all by myself.  But it was a lot of cut and paste, I didn't reinvent the wheel or anything.  

So I need some help.

Many of my fellow bloggers have cute little badges or buttons with their blog names and crap on them, and other bloggers can "grab one" and add it to their pages.

I don't have one.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

I want one.

:::stomps foot::::

Can somebody help me out? Which one of you creative people out there will make one for me?

You...in the back! I see you. I know you have one. Where'd you get it?

Listen, if I have to promise sexual favors, so be it. I want a damn badge of my own, and I'll do almost anything whatever it takes to get one.

Just deliver the goods and then we'll negotiate payment.

Happy Friday! What's your plan for the weekend?

The one where Julie pays homage.

I stole this from somebody's blog. But I forgot who's. 

I'm sorry.

If you remind me, I'll gladly give you credit!!!!!!!!!!

In a related story....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ELIZABETH!!!!

It's my bestie's birthday!

She has indeed brought sexy back.  LOL

And one other thing....
Please keep Danica in your thoughts and prayers today. 
She's having surgery and will be away from blogging for awhile. 
This is a hard day for her in a lot of ways
So I ask you all to send her your prayers for a speedy recovery. 
Thanks!!!

We all need a Bastard Husband.

Granted, more than a few of us had one, have one, or will never marry another one.

But we all need a copy of Linda Lou's book "Bastard Husband: A Love Story".

If you haven't already bought your copy, I have to ask...what the hell are you waiting for???? This is THE BOOK to buy, whether you are male or female, married or single, gay or straight, sober or smashed, sane or a whackjob. There is something in it for everyone....lessons we can all learn from Linda's first year alone in Vegas following a midlife divorce.

I'm so lucky to be able to call this lady my dear friend and sister separated at birth. Linda is an amazing woman in so many ways, but her sense of humor kills me. She says what I think. And now she's a famous author. I wanna be her when I grow up.

See that Amazon link to the right at the top of my blog? CLICK ON IT NOW and go buy yourself a copy. And then several more for your friends. For the record, Linda Lou is also on Amazon.ca and Amazon UK, so wherever you live, you can get her book.

You know your Christmas shopping isn't done yet, so I'm making it easy for you. Click and buy one for everyone on your Christmas list. They will love you for it.

Trust me, everybody needs a Bastard Husband like this.

The one where Julie gets serious

My friend Sarah has let me know that her niece Mattie is in need of a lot of prayers, so I am turning to you, my readers, to ask for help.

Mattie is 4 years old, and she was diagnosed with a brain tumor at the age of two. Her parents went through fourteen months of treatment with her and she was pronounced cancer free in January of this year.  This photo is a picture of her that was used in a St. Jude's print ad in August 2008, when she was being treated for the initial illness.

Unfortunately, the cancer has recurred and this little gal is in trouble.

I would like to ask all of you to say a prayer for this beautiful little lady, and keep her in your thoughts. The power of prayer can work miracles, and Mattie is in desperate need of a miracle this holiday season.

She has a Caring Bridge website set up, please click here to go to the site and get caught up on Mattie's story. Feel free to sign the guest book to let this family know that they are in your thoughts and prayers as they navigate their way through this life changing experience. Or else just leave them a comment here, and I will make sure Sarah gets the blog link to Mattie's parents, so that they can read all the prayers we are sending out to their little girl.

Also, I'd like to remind you that you can donate to St. Jude's Children's Hospital at participating retailers this holiday shopping season. Sarah explained to me that St. Jude's provided at least a million dollars worth of treatment for Mattie during her stay, and provided food every day for her family. Target paid for 100% of their housing and furniture during the 8 months or so they had to live in Memphis while Mattie was being treated.

Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks for the blessings in our lives. I know Mattie is a wonderful blessing to her parents and family, and I send them comfort and love today and every day to come.

God bless you, Miss Mattie.

Last chance for entering my giveaway!

Quick, GO HERE and get your entries in for my giveaway!

Sometime tonight Crystal will do the random picker thingy and three of you will win! I'll notify you and hook you up with Crystal so she can get your mailing address and get your prize out the door!

Thanks to everyone who entered, and stay tuned because next week I'm going to do another giveaway courtesy of my buddy Trisha who's launching her Tastefully Simple business!!!!

Happy Friday!!!!!

Who wants a freebie? **LINKS FIXED***

OK so my buddy Crystal graciously offered to host a giveaway on my blog. She has her own Etsy shop and I'm happy to drive some business her way.

Here are the items she's giving away to three of my lucky readers:

A reversible tote bag :

And a Zippered Bag:

And a key fob!!!

  

So here's how we're gonna play...

1. Go to Chaya’s Corner on Etsy http://www.etsy.com/shop/chayascorner and look at the items. That's all, just look.  (Feel free to buy, but to win the giveaway you just gotta check out her stuff.)

2. Leave a comment on the Chaya’s Corner blog http://chayascorner.blogspot.com/ stating which item(s) you like the best (and why if you’d like) and while you're there, become a follower of the Chaya’s Corner blog.  If you're really feeling generous, Heart Chaya’s Corner on Etsy and leave a comment on the blog stating you Heart Chaya’s Corner on Etsy!

3.  MAKE SURE YOU LEAVE A COMMENT HERE SAYING YOU DID STEP #2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  We will pick the winners from the comments left on my blog!  But don't think you can outfox us....we'll be checking to make sure the winners leave comments in both places!

That's it! 

I'll keep the giveaway open until 6pm on Friday, and then Crystal will use that Random generator thingy to find out who my three lucky winners are!

So ladies and gentlemen, start your engines, go visit Chaya's Corner, and leave a comment here to win!!!!

Good luck!

This is why I don't vlog....

Hilarious.

Think I'll stick with my unhumorous blogging.

Rejection at it's finest

So evidently somebody thought I was funny enough to be nominated to be part of Humor Bloggers. Thanks for whoever did that.


However, I received this email from them yesterday

Thank you for your interest in Humorbloggers.com. Your request for a membership was not accepted at this time.


There are several areas that are reviewed by the private membership panel. They look for an established blog, number of comments per post, consistent humor with the sole intent to be humorous. Consistency in posting is important-not the number of post per week.


Other factors also are looked at in determining whether the panel thinks the blog falls within guidelines of HBDC.


Thank You
humorbloggersdotcom
Membership

Gee, there's one for the rejection books.


Hell, if I'd known my blog was under humor scrutiny, I'd have made my recent posts about being too sick to go to Dallas hilarious. Then I could have avoided the "Sorry lady, you just aren't funny enough for us" slap in the face.


I guess the "panel" isn't made up of mid-40's men looking for a hot divorcee, eh?

Live....from Las Vegas!!!!!

My dear friend Vegas Linda Lou is my guest blogger today....please welcome her to the 47 Stage with a fantastic round of applause, standing ovation, and cheers from the crowd!!!! Take it away, Linda!!!!

Hey, everybody!

Man, do I have something to get off my chest, but it’s one of those things that I probably shouldn’t post on my own blog, so I asked Julie if I could rant on her site Like a good BFF/twin separated at birth, she was happy to oblige.

Here’s the story. As you may have read right here, last Saturday was my birthday. On Tuesday our office admin came over to my cubicle with a birthday card for me. (I know,Tuesday, right?) Anyway, the card was signed by a bunch of my co-workers who share my area of the cube farm and their sentiments were lovely. ”You’re so much fun to work with.” “You’re the coolest.” That kind of stuff. (All true, I might add.)

So I’m reading the card, getting a kick out of what everyone said, and then I see what our company’s CEO wrote:

H.B.

E.P.


“E.P.” are his initials, so I take it the “H.B.” must stand for “Happy Birthday.”

H.B.? Does anything say, “I could not give one shit about the people who work for me” more than that? Why not just mark it with a bloody “X"?

WTF, E.P.? R U so GD busy U can’t F-in’ write out “HAPPY BIRTHDAY”??? Jesus H, take the extra three seconds, big guy!

I M so not LOL.

Aaaah, thanks Julie! I feel better now.

XOXO

L.L.

You are welcome, darlin, any time. Please leave my girl lots of comment love, and don't forget to tip your blog host waitress on your way out. Someone's gotta pay for my rehab.

A non-Hallmark moment and I'm feeling all sentimental.

So yesterday I come home, feeling all kinds of crappy (again! was feeling better but now not so much) and I had this beautiful card in the mail:

It's from my dear friend Dana at Life is Good. She makes these amazing cards, and I have been lucky enough to receive more than one. In fact I have them displayed on my shelf in the living room. There isn't a damn thing for sale at Hallmark that comes close to how pretty her cards are.

The last one she sent me was so cute, on the front it said "Friends are the flowers in the garden of life", and inside it said..."You're standing on my flowers, bitch".

God, I love that woman. She gets me, and I get her.

Dana and I got to know each other last year because I was her Secret Santa in the exchange we did among bloggers. We have become good friends, and when she and Joe finally stop lollygagging around in Florida and move back to Indiana, I'll be paying them a weekend visit. I can't wait.

So this, my friends, is why you should click on the Secret Santa link to the right and get involved in our exchange! You might make a lifelong friend....and if you're lucky she'll be a really talented artist too!

Thank you for the beautiful card, Dana. Tell Joe I said to give you a little something extra special tonight, ok? (And I don't mean a ride to the casino!)

Happy 50th Birthday, Pip!!!!!

Today is my dear  friend Lee Ann's 50th birthday!

Don't ask why I call her Pip.  I have no idea, it was just always her nickname that I gave her when we were young.  We became close friends as young kids in the same  neighborhood, and were best friends through high school.  You may remember this post  from June when we finally saw each other again after almost 30 years. 

So anyway, today is the big FIVE OH for her, and she is launching a new blog of her own called "When life gives you scraps, make a quilt!"    So for her birthday, I'd love it if you guys would go to her blog and become a follower and wish her a Happy 50th ok?

Happy Birthday, Darlin!  I hope it's a great day!  I'll see you when I get back and we'll go out to dinner to celebrate. This one's for you!!!!!

(Oh and yes, I am still in Las Vegas. Heading home today! Will update with stories tomorrow!!!!)

We will never forget.

I borrow this from my buddy Airman Mom's blog from earlier this week. Every one of you reading me today needs to watch it. I know we will never forget, but please take a moment today to remember.



God bless the people on those planes, and in the buildings that fell. We will never forget you....you are true heroes.

Hmmmmm, and other things.

What's another word for thesaurus?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

Why does Porky Pig wear a shirt but no pants.

Also, Why does Porky Pig wear a towel around his waist after a shower, and then remove the towel and put on a shirt with no pants?

Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface.

On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.

The world's full of apathy, but I don't care.

Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.

Prejudiced people are all alike.

What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds?

Those who judge others will burn in Hell!

Exaggeration is not all it's cracked up to be.

Evil is not all bad.

I'm still not sure if I understand ambiguity.

Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness (or, It's hard to tell if someone is inconspicuous).

There's no such thing as nonexistence.

Cooperation can only be reached if we work together.


And don't forget....I want you to check out my son's blog. He did a before and after weight loss post too. If you think mine was good, his transformation is amazing.

Click Here

And one more thing....go to my friend Sheila's Blog and read today's post. As a mom, with an elderly mom....it brought tears to my eyes. Such a beautiful post. If you are not a Grandma yet, you will love this.

Is there a "y'all" at the end of hostile?

So the other day I did a blog post about Paula Deen being President. One of my long time readers from Georgia (you know who you are, but to protect you in this instance I won't mention names) sent it to me via email because she knows my love of ATP (All Things Paula).

Like many emails I get, I blogged about it. There was no link or reference in the email that stated it had previously been posted on another blog, or I'd have given credit where credit is due. Nor did it seem to make sense to preface the post with "Hey, my friend Susie got this from her friend Sally who forwarded it from Debbie who forwarded it from Kathy who got it from Kelly....blah blah blah". It was an email, for heaven's sake. We all get many joke emails a day. Do you know the origination of every one that you get?

Then I received a comment on the post from a person who owns a blog saying I was stealing from her and violating her copyright, etc.

I wrote to this person and apologized and said that I had received it in an email, thought it was funny and blogged about it. (For the record, while it was amusing, it needed tweaking, so I added my own comments to the end of it as well.) I offered to link back to their site, or remove it entirely.

Frankly, I was thinking to myself, you might wanna take me up on the link back offer. Nobody should turn down free advertising!

The response I received was rather surprising. It started out with "Greetings" then quickly turned to calling me a liar about how I received the information (that it did not come via email but rather I went to the site and stole it), continued with accusing me of taking credit for work that wasn't mine (which I never did) and ended with veiled threats of being sued for claiming something as my own that isn't.

Wow. Hostile!

I really didn't mean to piss anybody off with it. I just thought it was a mildly cute thing to post. Funny thing is, if someone posted one of my blogs on their site, I'd have been flattered that they thought it was entertaining enough to use, and would have simply written them an email saying "Hey, that's my original post, please make sure you say that on your blog or link back to me."

(Except for that time when the Bike Smut guys posted part of my discussion with the exercise bike. To their credit, they did link back to me, but unfortunately I really didn't want my blog being associated with bicycle porn! I send them a nice email asking them to remove it and they did.)

Getting all whipped up about an honest mistake really isn't necessary. Especially when this could have been turned into an advantage for the other blogger. I have lots of followers and tons of daily readers who probably would have gotten a kick out of his/her blog, if I'd linked to it instead of deleting the post altogether.

Funny thing is, in looking at his/her site, they put a link at the end of every post that says "E-Mail To A Friend". So I'm thinking to myself...if you don't want people emailing your blog posts to others, thus opening yourself up for it being copied elsewhere....you might want to remove that link!

And I have to wonder....does the owner of that site have written permission from Paula Deen to use an image of her and draw a mustache on it, as her blog header?? Or from Racheal Ray who has horns drawn on her head? I see numerous pictures in their blog posts that have clearly been taken from other sources. C'mon, who thinks this blogger is Paula Deen's personal photographer? So wouldn't using someone else's photographs on your blog (especially stock photos such as the ones in the header which can be found all over the web) be stealing as well? Isn't that just what he/she accused me of doing?

And then I saw it.

The link asking for Paypal donations to help with the web hosting fees on this site. LOL...that's the funniest thing I've ever seen!!!! Hell, who knew it was appropriate to solicit your readers for money to keep your blog online? I average 7,000 blog hits a month. If you'd all send me a dollar every time you visit my blog, I can quit my job and do this for a living!!!! My blog would be SO MUCH MORE FUN if you guys would just support me financially while I write it.

I'm still laughing at that. It takes some pretty big cajones to ask your readers to "donate" to your blog. Wow. Seriously, who does that? And would you even read a blog that did??

So anyway....I have removed the infamous Paula Deen post from my blog.

If you want to read more, the link to that site is....oh wait, I don't want to get sued for posting the blog address without permission. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL