The American Idols Tour. Or, the I love Glambert hour.

So, Tuesday night I went to the American Idols 2009 Tour.

Supposedly there were 10 people performing.

I only saw one.

OK I saw the rest, but they were so unimpressive that they didn't register on my radar as actually "seeing" them. They were pretty insignificant.

I took my sister Patty for her birthday.



We had great seats. Fifth Row Center.



First up was Michael Sarver. Boring. Packed on some weight this tour, though.



Then Megan Joy. Megan, sweetie....Foxy Brown called and wants her afro back. And she's pissed that you bleached it white.



Next up was Lil Rounds, I think. The girl can sing, but she was way over-blinged. She was all about the rhinestones.



After that, I don't remember what order the rest were in, but here's the blind guy, Anoop Dog, and that other dude. Matt somebody. I dunno.





Then they all tried in vain to entertain with dueling pianos and a number featuring all of the bottom six finishers.





Mercifully, the first half came to a close.

The second half of the show started with Allison playing the guitar and screeching like a banshee. She butchered "Barracuda" by my beloved Heart. Not cool. I loved her voice on the show, but last night, all she did was scream. And it wasn't pretty. The colors behind her were though.



Then came Danny Gokey. He's cute in a "trying way too hard to be a performer" way. Unfortunately he lost big points with me for singing a song that brings back really bad memories for me related to my ex and the whore who helped break up my marriage, so since I had to endure that, he only gets one picture here as well.



Then....came the reason I bought tickets to the damn show in the first place.

Glambert.

I'm gonna try to upload the video of his opening song "Whole Lotta Love". Some parts are hard to see because of the ass on front of me. Literally. This stupid bitch fellow concert goer decided she needed to stand on her chair while he was on stage, because evidently from the 4th row she couldn't see up his frickin nose. I asked her politely three times to get down and stop standing on the chair because her ass was so big you could NOT see around it. The fourth time I grabbed her, pulled her down and said "If you stand up in front of me again, I will send you flying onto the guy in front of you with a massive shove, and security will then throw your ass out and solve my problem for good". How freaking rude. You're in the fourth goddamn row, you are 35 if you're a day, he's ignoring you, AND HE'S GAY. He isn't going to fuck you backstage after the show. So sit your "Marry me Adam" screaming, blue extension streak in your hair, I Love Glambert t-shirt wearing ass down and watch the damn show like the rest of us.

Sorry, got off on a tangent there! It still pisses me off that someone could be that rude!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, back to the video, so I will try to upload it here. Meanwhile, here's some photos for your viewing pleasure.







Oh yeah, and the guy who won was there too. Talk about irrelevant. Poor guy, having to take the stage after Adam. He was about as exciting as soggy bread. I almost forgot to even take his picture. I felt bad for him though. You have to understand, the place erupted when Adam came out. Up until then, it was mild applause at best. No screaming fans. And then for Chris Allen (that is his name, right? This guy who won?) to come out after women are throwing bras and panties on the stage and screaming like 14 year olds....you'd have thought the audience turned into 15,000 nursing home residents. And he lulled everyone to sleep with three slow songs. Way to buzz kill the high energy from Adam, dude....



Oh well, doesn't look like the video is going to load. Sorry. Just trust me, I have every song he did. He was well worth the price of admission

It goes without saying....but I'll say it anyway!

Coming in second on American Idol will be the best thing that ever happened to Adam Lambert. He will go on to a huge career, while Kris Allen will end up an Idol along the likes of Ruben Studdard and Taylor Hicks. One obligatory album and then he'll be just a fond memory.

Not that Kris isn't a decent singer. He was just sooooooooo bland. He reminded me of non-alcoholic beer. Yeah, it tastes the same, but the happy feeling you get from it just isn't there.

Adam, on the other hand, wow! And to see him and Kiss performing together??? Are you kidding me??? Good God, I hadn't been that excited in months! I was couch dancing and rockin' my Glambert status. And it makes me very happy that now Adam has the freedom to be the kind of artist he wants to be...and not a product of the AI machine.

I realize Gokey's votes had to go somewhere, and the Christian movement that backed him certainly wouldn't vote for a guy who wears eyeliner and likes boys. So I expected Kris to win.

Doesn't mean the best man won though.



If I were 20 years younger and had a penis, I'd be all over this boy.

I just wanna dip him up on a chip. Mmmm.

Rawrrrrrl.