Julie takes a look back at 2009....

~ What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before? Stuck to my diet! I successfully lost 35 lbs. I have regained three of it over the holidays and starting January 1 I'll be back on Weight Watchers to lose this last 40 lbs.  (Oh, make that 43 lbs)  Stay tuned!

~ Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?   I resolve to stop making resolutions. I suck at them. They last about 20 minutes into the New Year. This year, I figure if my resolution is to make no more resolutions, I'm good to go.

~ Did anyone close to you give birth? Like, physically close to me? No, I have not actually witnessed childbirth this year. But some of the young girls I know on the Nest have had babies this year. (Yeah so they are all in their 20's and 30's...it's not like they are teens...but to me they are young girls! You know who you are...stop laughing as you read this.) I also managed to knock several of them up this year...Steph, Trisha, Rhiannon to name a few. I've got my eye on several other Nesties this coming year....watch out ladies!!! For those of you who don't understand this, it's a running joke on the Nestie board that when I go out of town, or when I see these girls at social events, people end up pregnant. I have girls offering to pay for my vacations at this point. However, it also happens that when I walk into a party with them, the crowd parts and I'm only allowed on one side of the room with women who want babies. LOL

~ Did anyone close to you die? Thankfully, no. My Mom is still with us, and to be honest we didn't think she would be, but she's a tough old bird and she's hanging in there.  However I have had a friend for over 12 years now, Ginny Croasdale, who I met on a message board when Jordan was just a little boy.  I never had the chance to meet her in person (she lived in Reno, NV) but we have always been in contact with each other, and she would send Jordan Christmas ornaments and things over the years.  She passed away the day after Christmas this year from brain cancer that was diagnosed back in June.  She was a fun and interesting lady, and I will miss her baudy sense of  humor the most.  Rest in peace, Gin.  My life is better for having known you, my friend.

~ What countries did you spend time in this year? Um, I'm pretty sure I've been landlocked this year. My passport has nothing on it. I can, however, travel anywhere you would like to send me. (Nestie girls, take note.)  I went to Vegas twice this year, and Chicago once, and other than that I didn't do a lot of long distance travelling.

~ What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009? A booming real estate business so that I can pay off bills, prepare for helping Jordan with college, and add stamps to my passport. Oh, and I totally logged way too few miles doing the horizontal bop (ok, make that zero miles), so I'd be quite happy to have a dancing partner. (Hey, just being honest!)

~ What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Jordan's graduation day, of course. That was a big event for us this year.

~ What was your biggest achievement of the year? Again, losing the weight. I have never had the self control to stop bitching about being fat and actually *do* something about it. Now I know I can do it, and if I don't lose the rest of the weight it's due to laziness and nothing else.

~ What was your biggest failure? I don't really feel like I had one. So maybe my biggest failure was to have a biggest failure! Yay! I hope every year going forward is like that! Oh wait, probably my biggest failure was missing my Dallas trip to hang with Deb and Jill. That really disappointed me. I should have gotten on that plane even if they had to wheel me on it with an oxygen mask and a stretcher.

~ Did you suffer any serious injury or illness? My ego has been bruised a few times. Other than that I'm pretty healthy.  My three herniated back disks are the same as they have been....no worse, which is good.  Losing some weight has definitely helped.

~ What was the best thing you bought?  My new car this week!

~ Whose behavior merited celebration? My son. He graduated in June, lost 85 lbs this year, pulled a 3.4 in his first quarter of college, and he makes me proud every day to be his mom.

~ Whose behavior made you appalled and/or depressed?  Nobody I know personally.  But for God's sake...Jon Gosselin?  He just needs somebody to smack the shit out of him. It's pretty bad when he started out being the henpecked husband of a controlling bitch and by the end of the year he was the world's biggest douchebag and public sympathy was with Kate for ever being married to that Ed Hardy wearing asshat in the first place!

~ Where did most of your money go? Credit card bills. And Starbucks. I have an addition to iced caramel macchiatos, skinny, upside down. Two points, baby.

~ What did you get really, really, really excited about? Watching Jordan conquer this weight problem this year. I always knew he'd get there one day, and as I watched the pounds melt away I got more and more excited for him, and what his future holds.

~ What do you wish you'd done more of?   Really?  Do you need to ask??  I wish I'd done more of that thing I haven't done ANY of.  Sigh.  Maybe next year..  Takers?  Anyone?  Bueller?

~ What do you wish you'd done less of?  Worrying.  And sitting on my ass on the couch when I should be breaking a sweat.  I could have lost all the weight I wanted instead of just half of it.

~ Did you fall in love in 2009? No, but it's only Dec 31st. I have plenty of time. You know I'm a last minute  kind of gal.

~ How many one-night stands? Dammit this question was a zero last year too! I so wish I had a number to plug in here. Unfortunately, I'm not a one-nighter kind of gal.  I'm starting to think however, that in 2010 I should become one!

~ Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I don't hate. That level of internal poison causes wrinkles that I can't afford to have!  I strongly dislike the whore woman who helped break up my marriage, but I finally realized that karma will be a far bigger bitch to her than I could ever be.  Some day, one way or another, she'll pay the price for her part in it.  So I've let that one go, and left it up to destiny to even the score.  Meanwhile, for me, living well is the best revenge!. 

~ What was the best book you read? Oh this one is easy. Bastard Husband: A Love Story. (Click on that link to go to Amazon and buy your own copy!) Even if I didn't know Linda Lou personally, I would have loved this book. It reminds me in so many ways of my own BH. But knowing the author makes the book that much better to me. Seriously, you need to read it. Click the damn link right now and go buy one. And then buy some for your friends too.

~ What did you want and not get? Botox. And Restylane. Hey, I'm being honest. My face has fallen further than Obama in the polls.

~ What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Well I was 48 on my birthday in March, and I have no idea what I did! I think it was a Sunday and I vaguely recall having lunch with my sisters, and I believe Jordan and his then-girlfriend made me dinner.

~ What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? As much as I bitch about being dateless, I do have a very satisfying life. Would I like to have someone to share good times with? You bet. But I have figured out that I have to make myself happy first, and then share that happiness with another when he comes along. Maybe this year he'll buy himself a faster car and get here quicker. LOL

~ What political issue stirred you the most? Don't get me started. We are all entitled to our opinions, but I don't force mine down your throat and I'd really appreciate you not forcing yours down mine. Thank God for the delete button in emails.

~ Who did you miss? I miss my sister all the time. So many things I want to share with her. I want her to see Jordan and be as proud as I am. Life is just not the same without her.

~ Who was the best new person you met? I was so lucky to spend time in May with blogging buddies Linda Lou and Darlene!!!!! They are no longer blog friends, they are lifelong girlfriends. We had the best time in Vegas and I fully intend to see both again this year. I really hate that I missed the Dallas trip with Deb and Jill but I plan to meet them both this year. Party at Myrtle Beach, right ladies?

~ Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. Anger and bitterness ages you faster than anything. This year I have really let go of my past, forgiven those who wronged me, and started looking forward with excitement and anticipation.

~ What sums up this year? (a word, a quote...?) Meets, but does not exceed expectations!

Happy New Year, readers! My wish for you all is that 2010 brings you more joy and happiness than any other year, and that you have a healthy and prosperous New Year!!! Thank you for the light you shine into my life and I hope that I bring something to yours as well.

Now this is my kind of woman.

Blame this one on Vodkamom....I found it on her blog and laughed my ass off!

Seriously, this resembles me and some of my best friends waaaaaay too much. You know who you are! Don't make me name names!

Look what I got myself for my son's birthday....

So you know I have a killer car, it's a 2006 Chrysler 300 SRT with a Hemi engine. Bad ass car. Expensive as fuck. $350 per tire to replace. Shitty gas mileage. But damn it's pretty...

It's also a leased vehicle and the lease is up January 17th.

Oh, and I just found out two weeks ago that I am already over my miles.

Anyway, I've been shopping for a car for a couple of weeks now, and finally found it yesterday.

So I bought myself a new car for my son's birthday.


Welcome to my new 2010 Nissan Altima!

(Clearly I have a thing for silver cars!)


My young trendy Nestie girls would call this a "push present", albeit 19 years late. LOL

I'm very happy with it. It has all the same bells and whistles that my 300 has except navigation and the Hemi engine. The nav came in handy during times when I'm showing houses but hell, I can buy a Garmin. And the Hemi was nice when idiots on the road in front of me were driving too slow and I wanted to zoom around them, but otherwise all it did was cause me to slide all over the freaking road in the snow and give me a whopping 15 miles to the gallon.

But the best part is that the car payment is half what the 300 was, and that makes me really, really happy.

Oh and it has a feature the other car didn't....a cool iPod interface in the nifty Bose stereo so I can listen to music on my iPhone when I'm driving!!! Yay! (This would be my son's favorite feature on the car, as you can imagine.)

So I'm all kinds of happy with my new car! And my 300 is parked in my back garage for the next month until I can turn it in on January 17th. Yay!

Attention must be paid, because on this day 19 years ago....

On December 27, 1990 I looked like this:

And then a year later "we" looked like this:

And then we got a couple years older...

And older...

And his hair got darker and mine got more red...

And then suddenly he was a teenager...

And tried to tune me out....

And he turned 17 but still let me feed him regularly...

That year I had to drive him home from his sister's wedding after he celebrated a little tooooooo much...

He was really happy with me though, when I got us out of Mexico after getting lost in a Mexighetto in a rental car with no navigation, cell phone service or passports (only I can "accidentally" drive over the border of a foreign country). Six hours in the border line having to pee like crazy and finally finding out we're not going to be detained makes for a happy mother and child...

Then he felt the need to turn 18 and graduate...

And lose a shit ton of weight...

But he's always going to be my little boy...just like I'm still my mom's baby...

So today I wish my little bundle of joy, Jordan Nicholas, a very, very happy 19th birthday. You are the light of my life, my greatest joy, and I have loved every minute of the past nineteen years (and even that 42 weeks I was pregnant!). You have given me more happiness than any parent could hope for, and I can't wait to see the rest of your life unfold and cheer the amazing things that come your way.

I love you, my little bug!!!!!

Tomorrow is a really big day...

So you'd better check back here.

I'm just sayin...you don't want to miss The Event.

Merry Christmas, my friends.

I wish for you a joyous, delightful Christmas holiday. Thank you for being part of my world and making my life a whole lot brighter.

And now, I give you my favorite Christmas song, O Holy Night, as sung by Il Divo. I have a complete crush on the voice of Carlos Marin (who's the Spanish, Ricky Ricardo looking singer in this group!)....his baritone moves me in ways I cannot even tell you. He puts the other singers to shame. So listen carefully, and you will hear his remarkable voice (especially around the 3:46 second mark of this video, he hits a high note that makes my eyes glaze over!!!).

Merry Christmas, everyone.

The Tattoo Heard Round The World

If you want to see Jordan's newest tattoo, click here to check out his blog.

I'm not allowed to say on Facebook what I think of the newest tattoo, without getting my comments deleted.

But I sure as hell can say it here. Freely. And without censor.

So here you go....

I think that D did a great job on it, as usual. He's done three out of four of Jordan's tats, and one and a half out of three of mine. (And I'm ready for another one!)

I think that the wording itself is great and very meaningful. No complaints whatsoever about that.

I think the font is nice. LOL

I'm just not a fan of tattoos across the front of the chest. Especially a chest I happened to give birth to.

It's just my opinion, and as his mother I am entitled to it.

I'd have loved this tattoo if it had gone across his back/shoulders. Just not a fan of where it's located. I think he'll regret that one day. I could be wrong, but time will tell.

The thing is, he's an adult and he can do whatever he wants. I don't have to like it! I wasn't a fan of his tongue piercing when he got it (and thankfully that lasted a few months and then he took it out). So whether I like or don't like this newest tat isn't really an issue, is it? I love my kid no matter what.

But I don't like getting my opinion deleted off Facebook. One does not want to piss Santa Claus his mother off two days before Christmas.

As one might end up with a lump of coal in his stocking instead of other things that were on his list.

Speaking of new tats, I'm considering two more. One will go on my back, on my right shoulder, and be the same tattoo Jordan has in memory of my sister "Viva La Vida" with Linda's years of birth and death and her initials. I will just change the font to something really pretty/script'y and add a very bright colored dragonfly.

Then I'm considering one on the inside of my left wrist. But not sure what I want! I considered HO HO HO because then depending on how I held my arm it would say that or OH OH OH! But that probably wouldn't be as funny in July as it is in December. So I'm not sure what I will get on my wrist, but I am definitely feeling the urge for something.....

Any suggestions? I don't want anything big, no more than probably 2" long and an inch or less wide. Thoughts? Ideas? Draw me a picture! LOL

Still Oh Oh Oh'ing

Last year my friend Crystal found this picture for me and of course, after telling you guys the story about my sister, it makes for a great follow up post.

Linda would have loved those!

In other news....

Did you notice I changed pictures in my blog header? Yeah, I'm that creative. LOL I was afraid to mess with the rest of the blog layout so that's pretty much it for my Christmas decorating here.

Three days until Christmas. And I've actually been done with my shopping for a couple of weeks now. That *never* happens. I'm usually the one at Speedway on Christmas Eve buying cardboard air fresheners and a bag of chips as stocking stuffers.

For the first time in about three years, Jordan doesn't have to work Christmas Eve or Christmas Day! I actually get to spend an entire holiday with my son.

The same son who is getting a tattoo today that I'm not really fond of. But, he'll be nineteen in 5 days....nothing I can do about it! I don't mind the wording, just not wild about the location.

Looking forward to having some time off work. We're closing down at noon on Christmas Eve and I'm off until January 4th. Yay! No big plans, just enjoying a little "staycation".

Tell me your plans for the holiday!

A Christmas Story I Want You To Know

I posted this last year, and will do so every year at Christmas. It's about my sister, and this is our 5th Christmas without her. So this is my way of remembering her, and introducing her to all of my new readers. You'd have loved her....she was the best.

I have a special Christmas story I want to share with you guys.

First, a little background...

This time six years ago, my sister Linda was in the hospital fighting for her life. She had a massive stroke on December 15th and needless to say, our holiday that year was spent basically living at the hospital. In fact, my Dad had a minor stroke three days after Linda's so for awhile we had them both in the same hospital, on different floors. Yes, it was awful.

Anyway, several years before this, Linda was out Christmas shopping, and she encountered what she deemed The Cutest Paper Towels Ever. They were Bounty's holiday ones that said "HO HO HO" on them. She, like any good Christmas decorating woman would do, grabbed herself a roll.

So she gets home, and excitedly starts telling her husband Jan how she found these darling "HO HO HO" paper towels, and proceeds to take them out of the bag to show him.

A puzzled look comes over her face as she showed them to him because lo and behold, the paper towels said...

OH OH OH

She looked at them, looked at her husband, looked back at them and said "I swear, in the store these said "HO HO HO" on them!".

She was completely mystified as to how she ended up with a roll that clearly had a misprint on them.

Meanwhile, Jan is looking at her like she's lost her mind. You have to understand, my sister was a teacher, and one of the smartest people I know. Her husband was a teacher as well, so here we have two brainiacs looking at each other...one completely baffled and the other thinking the baffled one has some serious blonde roots showing!

Linda says..."I'm driving right back over to that store and exchanging these for the ones that say "HO HO HO".

Finally, Jan quietly says....

"Linda....turn them over".

It was the funniest thing ever.

So of course that story got out, and from that day forward, everyone bought Linda Christmas things that had HO HO HO on them...and then would proceed to go around her house turning them all upside down. There was never an item in their home that didn't say OH OH OH by the time Christmas came.

Just days before her stroke, Jan had found a lighted HO HO HO to put outside on the front of their house. He was always big on decorating outside...lots of lights and stuff, so this was a perfect addition to his Christmas reportoire. He hung it up the right way, and Linda dared anyone to turn it upside down, including her husband.

So, there we were, in the hospital on Christmas Day, gathered around her bed, and she was finally awake for basically the first time in the ten days since she'd had her stroke. She was, of course, on a ventilator so she couldn't speak, but she could hear us, and understand what we were saying.

I stood there talking with her, and as a joke I said "Hey Lin, guess what? I was over at your house last night, and somebody turned the new HO HO HO that is outside on the house, upside down!"

Let me tell you something, that woman may not have been able to speak, but the dirty look she shot her husband at that moment spoke volumes. We all laughed for the first time in ten days.

We lost her on February 18, 2004, two months after she suffered that devastating stroke. She had just finally gotten off the vent and was able to talk to us, and the next day something happened that we don't know what it was, whether it was another stroke or a clot from where the vent had been dislodged and travelled to her brain, but suddenly she was gone. We were, and still are, devastated.

I have some of her HO HO HO things at home, and every year I try to carry on her tradition and buy something new to add to her collection. And every year, my son walks around my house and turns them all upside down. And we smile, and laugh, and remember the look on Linda's face when she would tell the paper towel story, and laugh at herself for her "blonde moment".

So this one's for you, sis. I love and miss you every day, all year...but at Christmas I miss your beautiful smile and laugh the most.

Keep away from my chimney, Santa.

Ever wonder what Santa looks like in the summer months?

I do not want that man coming once a year anywhere near me.

Ho Ho Hell No.

It's official.

I'm about halfway into Christmas.

Like my new hair color? Out with the dark, in with some blonde highlights and red streaks...

Ho Ho Ho.

Now that's my idea of decorating.

Clearly, mine would be the house on the right.

Happy Winter Driving Season

It happens to all of us....

You're driving along
just minding your own business,
when all of a sudden
without any warning

Some dick in a truck
pulls out right in front of you......

Happy Winter Driving Season!!!
Please be careful out there, and stay safe.

The crazies are everywhere!

A Quick Note About Christmas

Yes, I'm still rewinding blogs from last year. Things are just crazy busy for me right now and I don't have the brain cells required to think up new things to amaze and awe you. If you were with me last year, sorry for the repeat, but if you're one of my 300 new readers this year....enjoy!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My dear friends and family,

It's somewhat embarrassing to admit but Christmas will be tight this year.. I will be making bedroom slippers for you all as gifts. Please let me know your sizes. You'll most likely agree that it's a splendid idea, and should you wish to do the same, I've included the instructions below.

I've attached a photo of the first pair I made so that you can see the nifty slippers for yourself....

These slippers are:
* Soft and Hygienic
* Non-slip grip strips on the soles
* Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh
* No more bending over to mop up spills
* Disposable and biodegradable
* Environmentally safe
* Three convenient sizes: (1.) Regular, (2.) Light and (3.) Get out the Sand Bags.

How to make bedroom slippers out of maxi pads:

You need four maxi pads to make a pair.
Two of them get laid out flat, for the foot part.
The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top.
Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part.

Decorate the tops with whatever you desire, silk flowers (this is most aesthetically appealing), etc.

Awaiting your response. It's crucial that I get the right size for each one of you.

My Secret Santa Rocks My World

So yesterday I came home to a lovely surprise in the mail from my Secret Santa.

It looked like this:

Look at all those packages! I was so excited! Talk about feeling like a kid on Christmas!!!

The first one was this:

Yum. Then came two of these....

Double yummo. And they are delish, trust me.

Next I opened this:

(Thank you, SS, for assuming I dust! haha) But what made me laugh out loud was the note taped to it:

Cracks me up every time I read it.

Then, the coup d'tat was...drumroll please...

They. Are. Gorgeous. In fact, I wore them to a Christmas party last night and they looked fabulous on me! My ears were HOT! Here's a picture from the party of Danica, Santa and me. You can sorta see my earrings. (Click on the picture to make it bigger.)

So, thank you my dear Secret Santa! You must read me a lot because you could not have made better choices! I only hope my SS partner loves what I send them half as much!!!!!

I can't wait to find out who you are and thank you personally, but until then just know that you have rocked my Christmas!!!!! ::::smooch::::

And of course, thanks and love to Georgie and Amy for putting this together again this year. You two are the best elves ever....

I'd like to marry my Secret Santa.

Male or female. I don't care. You "get" me.

Just a quick shout out to say that....

MY SECRET SANTA ROCKS MY WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Full report coming tomorrow.

Just know that I am wearing one of my gifts to a Christmas party tonight and they look FABULOUS on me!!!! What timing!!!