Then and now

April to November. 

Big changes (85 lbs) for Jordan, some change (35 lbs) for me. 

But I'm not done yet.

Stay tuned.  By this coming April, I'll be his size!

Breathing hard and sweaty

....and yet no nudity involved. Sigh.

Have I mentioned that I hate exercising?

Clearly, by looking at me, it's not something I've ever made a habit of doing. I've never been into sports...playing them, that is....and I once paid monthly membership to a gym for a year and a half and never walked through their doors.

But I am finally accepting the fact that I have to incorporate movement into my current weight loss plan.

And I am NOT happy about it.

Everyone says once you get into it, you'll learn to love it. Frankly I don't see that happening. But I'm willing to give it a shot.

So I'm headed to the gym. Hopefully I will find a class or two that appeal to me, as I think I will do better in a group setting than just being left to my own devices.

If you have paid attention to my weight loss ticker, I am trying to lose 75 lbs. When you need to lose an Olsen like that, there's bound to be some flabby skin leftover, so I really need to firm up the muscles underneath the fat on my way down the scale.

:::Wonder how long I can continue putting off going to the gym this morning by writing this blog post?::::

So tell me, do you work out? If so, what do you do to keep yourself entertained? Did you hate it at first and learned to love it? Or do you have to force yourself to do it?

Oooh looky!!!!




I hit the 20 lb. mark this morning! Yay me!!!

By the way, look how big my tomato plants are!!! Remember, I'm 5'8" so these are pretty tall. And this was earlier in the week....I looked at them last night and they were up to my shoulders! They're ridiculous!

Little things thrill me the most.

So last month when it first started getting warmer here in the state with ridiculous weather all year round sunny Ohio, I pulled out my jean capris and was going to wear them one day.

They didn't fit.

That's right, I could barely drag the fuckers pants up over my hips, although I did get them that far, but buttoning or zipping was nothing short of a fantasy.

Which sort of confused me because I weighed exactly the same as I did when I wore them last. So what, does fat start to liquefy and spread? Or maybe now that my son measured me as 5'7 1/2", when I have been 5'9" my entire life, it's indicative of how since I'm getting shorter, I'm also getting wider?

Really, will three herniated disks cause you to lose an inch and a half in height? Or did I just have far bigger hair for years?

I haven't talked a lot about it, but I've been doing Weight Watcher's Online for almost a month now. (I keep the little handy dandy weight loss ticker at the bottom of my blog, if anyone cares to follow it.) My goal is to lose 10 lbs. a month. I haven't weighed in this week yet, I do that Thursday, but it's my belief I will reach that first 10 lb. goal when I do.

I feel really good, I feel like I have my eating under control, I'm eating far better (healthier and more natural foods) than I probably ever have, and I'm actually exercising. Yes, you read that right. I work up a sweat of some sort daily. And no, there is no nudity involved. Dammit.

Anyway....back to the story....

So this morning as I was contemplating my work wardrobe I saw these damn capris hanging there, taunting me, and I thought to myself, those can be my first "goal" clothes...and when I get in them, I'll know I've redistributed the fat lost some weight. Because let's face it, at this point I've just lost 7 1/2 lbs, and on somebody my size that's not enough to even notice.

But I tried them on anyway.

And I would like to publicly announce that not only am I wearing them at work today...but they are not even tight! They fit quite comfortably!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't have to suck my stomach in back to my spine, nor do I have anything Spanx on! (and I swear it had nothing to do with the baby oil gel I put on when I got out of the shower, greasing my legs so the damn things would slide on!)

Little things thrill me the most. Even if it's just fitting back into a pair of pants.

In a related note, I saw an ex-boyfriend this morning. I wouldn't mind fitting back into HIS pants. LOL

Saturday Rewind

Since my blog tends to be pretty quiet on the weekends, I'm going to recycle my very first blog post from last April...enjoy!

So here I am....47.

Wow.

Why is it that I feel 37 mentally and 57 physically? Gee, maybe because I'm overweight, out of shape, still smoking on occasion, and refusing to set foot anywhere near a gym? Let's face it, if I'm going to be sweating and breathing hard, there better be nudity involved. I'm just sayin.

So I decided to start blogging. Jump on the wagon, so to speak. (Hey, that would qualify as exercise, right?) I was told today that I should start recording everything I eat..."if you bite it, write it". That way you are more cognizant of your food behaviors.

Food behaviors? I eat anything that doesn't move. How's that for a food behavior?

OK so back to the purpose of this blog. I just turned 47 a few weeks ago. Clearly, I'm not getting any younger. So if I plan on taking one last run at being "all that" (ok so I've never actually been "all that", but I'd like to, at least once before I die, hear someone say "You're too skinny!" without any sort of medical intervention being involved!)...anyway, I need to get that last run started.

The thing is, I *know* better. My best friend is a naturopathic doctor, for heaven's sake! She has tried for years to get me on the right track (not to mention, to save my life) and I've fought her every step of the way. Whining at the top of my lungs..."It's too "hard" to eat healthy and organic and natural. I don't "like" to exercise. Yes, I "know" I have no business eating meat or any other animal products with my history of colitis, and family history of colon cancer." I can lecture other people until the cows come home about the bad effects of dairy on your body! (pun intended) So it's not like I'm stupid, or clueless, and have gotten to this point in life by accident. My body is what it is because of my own negligence. Period. I got nobody to blame but me.

So I figured accountability is a good place to start. I don't know if anyone will ever read this, so I'm not sure who I'm being accountable to or what I'm really even accounting for. Am I going to post what I eat every day? Maybe. That should be good for a laugh. Am I going to post how lazy I am and how much time I log being hortizontal rather than vertical? Possibly.

I'm just starting slowly at the exercise thing. If I type enough, I should have really skinny fingers, right?

Conversation with the Exercise Bike - Part 2

Bike: Psssst....

Julie: WHAT????

Bike: C'mere honey.

Julie: Do NOT talk to me like that.

Bike: I've got a little sumpin sumpin for ya...

Julie: No you don't! You don't fool me! I know what you want me to do!

Bike: Yeah I do, baby. C'mere...come to Daddy.

Julie: OMG. You did not just say that.

Bike: Sit on Daddy's lap.

Julie: OMG! Leave me alone! Pervert!!!!!

Bike: You know you want to. You've been looking at me all night with that look in your eyes.

Julie: Oh, for the love of...Schwinn. Stop with the come on's already! I'm NOT interested!

Bike: You want some of this hard steel, you know you do.

Julie: Hard steel? How hard?

Bike: We'll take it slow, I promise.

Julie: Are you sure? Because I'm inexperienced...I haven't really done this much.

Bike: It's okay...you just let me take care of everything.

Julie: Mmmmm....I'm on top, right? Gee, I was never good at this position. Don't look up, ok?

Bike: Come on baby...ride me hard. Hard and fast. You can do it...

.........20 minutes later...........

Julie: Wow, that was really fantastic. I had no idea I was so good at it!

Bike: Way to burn rubber, baby. Look at my smokin tires. You da bomb.

Julie: Yeah, I'll bet you say that to all the girls.

Bike: Same time tomorrow?

Julie: Uh hey, this was fun but let's not rush anything. I've got a date with Wii Fit tomorrow. He's really got a lot more to offer....more positions, more ways to keep me interested. And I get bonus points for endurance.

Bike: You'll be back. He can't give you what I can. I have a built in fan!

********************************************

Cheri just sent me the following email with the subject "You're scaring me":

OK this un-natural conversation that you have with your exercise bike.. is freaky... I think you need laid!! I tell mine to shut up or I'll dismantle it.. I have a wrench and I know how to use it.. it keeps it quiet for the most part!

Funny girl.

Finally Friday.

It's been a long week. Probably because for the past two, I only worked four days one week and three the next. This five day thing sucks! I haven't really taken much vacation this summer either. But I'm going to Washington DC/Virginia the first weekend in October (Nestie girls trying to get pregnant...start your engines!) and then back to Vegas the first week of November.

Doing good on the healthy eating thing. I'm feeling better too. Just a subtle shift in energy levels, etc, but I definitely notice it. I haven't had anything but natural sugar (ie: fruit) all week, and it's funny how you stop craving sweets and sugar when you don't eat it. It's like Penny has told me for years, you crave what you put into your body, so if you aren't putting sugar in, you aren't jonesing for it! I've had 2 Reeses Cups at my house for a week now, and have not touched them. This, for a chocoholic like myself, is unheard of.

Not having a glass of wine or my beloved Vodka & Diet Pepsi in the evening has been a little hard. It's not that I *can't* have it, I just choose not to right now. I have to get myself under control first.

My plan this weekend is to make some soup to freeze and eat for lunches next week. Going to get my grocery list in order and shop for more good stuff.

Oh, and exercise.

(Why do I hate even saying the word???)

I've got to learn to tolerate love exercising. Any suggestions on how?

Day 4 of Eating Better

Doing great so far. Haven't had a bunch any junk food! Haven't had alcohol! Been drinking water! Eating fresh fruit! Obsessing over my new favorite food item which is jalapeno stuffed green olives. They are like a little party in my mouth.

I'm down 3.6 lbs so far this week. Yes, we all know that's water, not fat...but I'm good with that. It's telling me that my body is getting rid of the bloat, and adapting to my new healthier way of eating!

Last night I didn't get any exercise in. Funny how I can come up with every excuse in the world for not doing something, isn't it? Last night's excuse was that I had to go visit my mother, and she's in a nursing home 20 miles away. And by the time I got home, grabbed some dinner, did a load of laundry...it was time to sit my fat ass on the couch and watch TV.

TV time was interupted by my exercise bicycle, sitting in the corner of the living room. Let me walk you through it.

Bike: Psssst....

Julie: (looks around to see who's Psss'ing her)

Bike: Hey, lard ass...

Julie: (looks at bike) Oh hey, dust bunny. What's up?

Bike: Clearly not you.

Julie: Wow, pretty smart for something that just sits there spinning it's freaking wheels and going nowhere.

Bike: Get over here and get on me.

Julie: (wishing for once, something that wasn't mechanical would say this to her)

Bike: Mount me. I want you now!

Julie: (hearing that infamous "boom chicka wow wow" porn music)

Bike: I'm serious. Come here, sit on top of me. Move your legs and hips, and start breathing hard.

Julie: (sigh....if only....)

Bike: Hello? Is anyone there? Julie? Why are your eyes glazed over? Get back here! You do not need a cigarette now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So tonight, I'll do better. In fact, I've given myself mini-goals during the day as well, and today my goal is to make 2 trips up and down the 2 flights of steps in the building.

I'm off to do my first one. I'll be gasping for breath (sad, but true) but in a few weeks when I'm doing a bunch of those a day and not breathing hard at all, I'll look back on today and think "Wow, you've come a long way!"

Back on the wagon

Well, I know you've heard it all before....but I'm motivated again to lose weight and get healthy.

Yeah, I realize you can look at the labels on the side of this blog, see all the ones for diet and motivation and say "Gee Julie, you were motivated 5 months ago? Oh, and 3 months ago? How's that working out for you???"

It's not. I suck at this.

However, after seeing pictures of myself at the wedding and realizing just how huge I am, it makes me sick. I have lied to myself long enough, with "Oh, it's the camera angle" or "This shirt makes me look fat". No sweetie, it isn't the camera or the shirt. It's YOU.

I did one of those weight calculators based on my height and age and frame size and hair color and whatever other stupid factors they considered, and according to it, I am 80 lbs out of range. EIGHTY POUNDS. And that's out of the high end of the range! I'm 100 lbs out of the low end!

I need to lose an Olsen. That's fucking depressing.

Funny thing is, I'm no heavier weight-wise than I was 3 years ago. But for some reason, it's all gone soft and squishy. I have rolls now where they don't belong! I'm talking in areas of my body that is NOT MEANT TO HAVE AN OVERHANG. I look at myself naked and seriously, I cannot stand the view. How on earth do I think I could ever share it with some poor unsuspecting man??????????

Ugh. I never had good self esteem anyway and what little I did have got snatched away during my marriage divorce. And now I look at myself and think, why? Why, knowing my family history of diabetes, cancer, heart attacks, Alzheimer's, strokes, high blood pressure, etc...why am I still smoking, eating crappy food and not exercising?

Didn't it have any impact on me, watching my sister struggle for 8 weeks after having a massive stroke that should have killed her right off the bat, and ultimately took her life anyway? Do I honestly think that can't happen to me?? She smoked, she drank, she didn't exercise either. And guess what, the shape of my body now rivals hers exactly. I used to always notice how she was very thick between her waist and her chest, and now I am too.

I am not going to fucking die like she did. I refuse. I will not put my family through it, I will not put my son through losing his mother. HE deserves better, and so do I.

I deserve to fall in love again and have a second chance at happily ever after.

I deserve to watch my son go off to college, to have a career, and be a happy, healthy and successful man.

I deserve to play with my grandchildren and spoil them rotten.

I deserve to live until I'm 90, and still be able to take care of myself.

And by God, I'm going to get all those things!!!!

I'm 3 days in, and I'm feeling good. I did a half hour of Wii Fit last night, and my new Wii Fit age is 42.

By the time my 30 year class reunion rolls around in May, I will be one hot mama.

Waterfree at last!

The bloat is gone, and so is 3 of the 4 lbs. Woohoo! I knew that's all that was wrong but I needed to see it on the scale for myself.

Today is my co-worker Amanda's 27th birthday. My boss and I got her a Coach purse because she's never had a designer bag and she always moons over mine. So now she's got one of her own. Happy birthday, sweetie!

Have you heard about the story of the man who imprisoned his daughter for 24 years, had numerous children with her, and has just now been found out? I don't understand how this can happen. I don't know how you'd hide someone for 6 months, let alone 24 years, without anybody finding out? The daughter had children with him as a result of continuous rapes, and I guess I can't pretend to understand the mental stress or brainwashing that must have gone on all those years. But couldn't the daughter and one of the kids (some of which are like 19 and 17 years old now if not older) overpowered the 70 year old man at some point and gotten free? Wasn't there ever a time in 24 years that the daughter *had* to have medical care, especially after giving birth to something like 8 children? How did he manage to feed and clothe that many people for so long with NOBODY knowing?

I just don't understand. I pray for the daughter and all of those children, that they will somehow, someday, find their way out of the darkness that their lives have been. I fear it will take years, many many years, if it ever happens at all.

What is wrong with people? I just don't get it.

Shock of all shocks.

My son cleaned his room last night.

No, really!

Not only did he clean it, he changed it all around, put all his movie posters up (he works for a movie theater and gets all of their posters that he wants), he even swept the floor!!!!!!!!

Who are you, and what have you done with Jordan?????????

It was a nice surprise. I'd been over at Easton and he was vegging on the couch when I left...not sure what happened but next thing I know, he's turned into the White Tornado.

No, I am not bitching. Trust me! Just still reeling from the shock!

No big weekend plans for me, other than cleaning my house. Still doing the Daily Plate every day, as you can see from my ticker below I've only lost 6.2 lbs. I guess that's not bad for 2 weeks but still...this past week has been VERY slow. But a loss is a loss right, and as long as the scale keeps going down, I'm doing something right.

Starting talking about boob jobs with some friends yesterday, and of course the difference between the hard, melon balls and the soft natural ones etc. I've seen great boob jobs and I've seen ones that scare me, and I can't imagine why a woman would want those on her chest for life. But I do understand the want/need for it.

If this were 20 years ago, I'd have it done in a heartbeat. It's a little late at this point in my life. Everything else is going south, the last thing I need are my boobs pointing north.

They can stay east and west right where they are now! LOL!

Happy Friday!

TGIF, eh? It's been a long week, but a good one so I can't complain. And hopefully I won't have to work this weekend, although I really should come in for a bit.

Can you believe it, I forgot to weigh in this morning! But again it was another morning of putting on jeans that I didn't have to suck anything in to button. And they've stretched out so much this morning that I feel like a teenager walking around with my underwear exposed and baggy ass seat. Then I hike 'em up (which is such a classy action when one is wearing high heels) and off I go.

I feel like I'm shrinking, which is weird. This morning I noticed it when I put my robe on...there was more robe to wrap. Can that be possible on someone my size, after only 6 lbs gone forever? Maybe I'm just unbloating. I dunno...I'll take it regardless!

Got Marilu Henner's new book last night called "Wear Your Life Well". I think it's going to be really good. I haven't worn my life well in...well, 47 years! Anyone can look at me and know that the circles and bags under my eyes are from not eating right, as is the blotchy bloated face and the fat all over my body! My house is seriously dirty, my office is a mess...I don't seem to have control over any area of my life. The only clean areas around me are my purse and my car! (Two very expensive items I seem to take care of!)

I think it's true that your outer surroundings reflect your inner chaos. The past few years of my life have been very, very stressful and chaotic. Some of it I could have controlled, some of it has been completely out of my control. In a two year period I lost my job, went to work for my fiance', married him, my mother broke a hip, my sister had a massive stroke, my father had a small stroke three days later, we bought a house and I had to relocate my child in the middle of his 7th grade year, my sister passed away, my husband and child and I had to go to family counseling because we were having a very tough time living as a family, my father passed away, my mother broke another hip, my husband and I went for 4 months not collecting paychecks at work and having to spend all of our savings etc to survive, and the coup de grace was him having an affair and us getting a divorce, and me having to find not only a new job, but a new house, a new car, and relocate again. That was the final straw, my life was blown up around me and I really had to dig deep to find the strength to go on.

That's pretty much every major life stressor there is, that happened to me in a two year period of time. And we wonder why I'm not always playing with a full deck? haha

The point I was making is this...I've had a lot going on for a long time. It's been 2 1/2 years since my divorce and it's time to get my act together once and for all. Yes, a lot of shit happened that wasn't fair and I didn't deserve. But I also allowed myself to stay in a situation afterwards that wasn't healthy either. And my outside world still reflects that.

So I'm taking back my life, dammit. I have sat around and whined long enough about what I lost. It's time to start living again! I'm making the long needed changes in my life to make it something I'm proud of, that I want to share with someone, and that I can enjoy.

In the immortal words of Janet Jackson....

Got my own mind
I wanna make my own decisions
When it has to do with my life, my life
I wanna be the one in control

Hey, I could have quoted "Nasty Girl"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My taste buds, they are a changin'

Funny how when you stop eating a whole lotta junk...you stop craving a whole lotta junk.

And funny how good simple things taste. Mandarin oranges, for example. Mmmmm. That was like a little party in my mouth a few minutes ago.

I can't wait to hit my first 10 lb. mark. I'm thinking about buying myself something for every 10 I lose, but I don't know what that would be, because that would turn into a collection of sorts and I don't collect anything but damaged men evidently. LOL! Or maybe I should just do something nice for myself. Maybe a pedicure every time. Or a massage.

Any ideas?

Feeling good today!!!

I'm feeling damn good today! Down 6 lbs. and that makes me happy. Put on my jeans this morning and didn't have to suck anything in to get them buttoned. That makes me happy. Having a good hair day because it's finally grown back out enough to pull up in a clip...that makes me happy.

Sex would make me happy too but I don't see that happening today. ROFLMAO. Oh well, a girl can't expect *everything* overnnight, right? But it is a form of exercise. I'm just sayin. Wonder if there are trainers for that?

Anyway....

Yesterday I set myself free. Wanna know how? I told a select group of friends how much I weigh. It was embarrassing, and mortifying to reveal that number but as Dr. Phil says, you cannot change what you don't acknowledge.

So I acknowledged it in a big way. But it was on a groups list that only specific people belong to. I'm not quite ready to acknowledge it here!!!!!

I will say that I'm in new numbers today. For those of you who never went to WW at any point, what that means is that when you go from say, 120 to 119, you're in new numbers...the 10's versus the 20's. Which is totally where I am today, a scant 119.

I'm just a little bloated. LOL

Can we talk about The Biggest Loser?

OK, I have a love-hate relationship with this show.

On one hand, the transformations these men and women go through absolutely amaze me. I realize they have to work extremely hard to get the kind of results they do.

But how realistic is that? Come on, you aren't losing 144 lbs in 15 weeks by working out an hour a day! That's just shy of 10 lbs a week one guy lost! One of the girls in the finale, Ali, has lost 99 lbs....6.6 lbs a week. I don't know about anyone else, but I sure have never lost that kind of weight!

So how many hours a day are they working out? 8? 10? And how many calories are they eating? 3?

I dunno...it's motivational to see that kind of life changing action but I think it's also sending a wrong message, because normal people cannot change their lives that quickly, in that dramatic of a fashion. It cannot be healthy to lose that kind of weight so fast. How many of them actually keep it off do you think?

That being said, I can really identify with Ali. I'm not sure how tall she is, but our body sizes aren't much different. (OK yes, clearly hers is NOW. But when she started on the Biggest Loser, I could identify with her!) She looks fabulous right now, and I'd love to see her win. I think I'll put a picture of her on my iPhone so everytime I use it, I get motivated to look that damn good!

In other news...

We got Jordan's tux this weekend for the prom. His "friend" (I'm not allowed to call her anything else, even though I think there is definitely more to it!) Stephanie has a beautiful yellow dress, so his tux is black with a yellow vest and tie.

Here's the dress:



Here's a close up of the top of the dress....



Here's what Jordan's tux will look like:



And last but not least...here are the two likebirds. LOL



I'm excited about Prom. I didn't go to either of mine, so I'll live vicariously through Jordan going to his!

On a sad note, yesterday one of Stephanie's good friends was killed in a car wreck, and she was a mess last night. Jordan immediately went to her house when she found out and spent the evening with her. He was very upset when he came home. Please join me in saying a prayer for the family of her friend and ask for strength in their time of loss.

And then go hug your kids if you have any. We're so blessed, aren't we?

OK more on The Daily Plate

I gotta tell you, this might be the best thing I ever did for myself. I've never really paid that close of attention to what I was shoving in my mouth. (Unless it was connected to a man) OMG! That totally did not come out the way I meant it! ROFLMAO...what I meant was I always pay attention to what I order when out on dates, etc.

Oh hell, why am I trying to explain myself? Freud would have a field day with what I said, regardless.

ANYWAY....

Having to account for every bite I eat is really eye opening. Not only from a caloric standpoint, but seeing the breakdown of how much fat I'm eating, how much cholesterol, sugar, etc. It's really sort of mindblowing. And it's making me pay attention to my food choices....and determine what's worth eating! Sure, maybe I'm really craving something sweet, but is a 120 calorie piece of dark chocolate (aka black sugar...LOL) worth it when I could just have a cup of grapes for half the calories and only consume natural sugar that's better for my body??

The really great thing about TDP is that I can access it from my phone, so no matter where I am, I can check the nutritional value of what I'm eating and make an informed decision, rather than eat something and then later find out it had like 3,000 calories in it!

I've got my mojo on, folks. It only took 47 years.

By the way, did NOT have new nails put back on. And yes, my hands feel weird. My nails are very thin and peeling but I do have polish on them (short as they are!) and am going to try to let them breathe for a bit. They can breathe through the polish....right?

So I'm slacking already?

Not even a week with a blog and already I can't keep up? Geesh.

Just read my new favorite line:

When happiness becomes the priority, progress takes care of itself.

Words to live by. I'm doing really well counting calories. I'm down 4 lbs and feeling good! Got an hour walk in yesterday in the beautiful weather, and my motivation is at an all time high.

According to the Daily Plate, I should be at my goal weight on December 1st. Once I get to that goal, I'll re-evaluate and see how much more I want to lose. I may be quite happy there, so we'll see....

I'm sleepy....(yawn).....

Went to see Carrie Underwood last night. It was a good concert, albeit about an hour too long. She's not a big enough star (aka hasn't had enough hits) to fill a two hour concert. I think she sang every song on both of her albums, which got a little boring to hear 20 songs you don't know....and at the end her "encore" was November Rain and Paradise City, by Guns & Roses (yeah, figure that one out!) and finally Before He Cheats. To her credit though, she rocked the G&R stuff. I was quite surprised!

Prior to the concert we went to Eddie George's Grille for dinner, and I had two vodka and SF Red Bull's. In retrospect....bad idea! Got home at 10:30, stayed up til 12:30, finally went to bed and could not fall asleep until 2:30, and then was woken up twice getting cramps in my feet, and finally was up for good at 5:45 this morning. Ugh. Note to self, in the future, skip the Red Bull and just drink the vodka!!!!

So now I'm tired. Oh, and I should mention that in the two hours between when I got home and when I went to bed....I methodically removed every one of my fake nails. They had been breaking on the sides and stuff for several days, I think this set is just so old and brittle...so I just took them all off! It's the first time in probably 18 years that I haven't had fake nails. I don't really care for it! And it's hard to type! The ends of my fingers are sore! So I do have a nail appointment today (which is why I was fine with taking them all off last night) Now, ironically, I am considering asking if she can just put a very thin "stabilizing" coat on my natural nails to allow them to grow out. They are so weak and flimsy and it's going to take months but I may just be nail free for the first time in almost 20 years.

What the hell is wrong with me? No nails? Monitoring my eating? Trying to get healthy? EXERCISING? (Yes, I did 20 minutes on recumbant bike this morning!) Who am I and what have they done with Julie??????

In other news....

I'm going to see my mother-in-law today. After her second round of chemo, she started losing her hair (as we knew would happen) so I bought her a couple of hats to wear from this website I found online.

Oh, and yesterday, even with eating dinner out (I had a Seared Ahi Tuna salad) and the vodka's...I still came in with 256 calores to spare on The Daily Plate! Woohoo! And I'm down 3 lbs since I started it! Again, I'm aware it's fluctuations in water weight...you don't lose 3 lbs of "fat" in 3 days. But it's just nice to see the scale going down for a change. I set my first goal of losing 70 lbs (there is a tracker at the bottom of the blog now!) and that will get me to where I feel good, look good, am comfortably a size 12, and I can live with that. Believe it or not, I will still be at the highest end of the "ideal weight" for someone my height, age and skeletal size!!!!! The low end of that range is a number I have never seen in my life except when I was maybe 13. I passed it and never saw it again! I don't think my body could get there, to be honest. Years and years ago, when I was 21, I lost 60 lbs in 3 months (can you say....Black Beauties???) and I was very small for me, a size 9, I had no boobs, wore small or medium shirts...and my face came down to a point at my chin. My mother was convinced I was anorexic (no Mom, I'm just doing speed. LOL) (Hey, it was the early 80's, I did a lot of things I'm not proud of!) Even at that size (and believe me, I was little, just ask anyone who remembers those days), I still was not at the low end of my "ideal" weight! I at least carry my weight well. If I told you the number I am right now, I think you'd be shocked. At least I hope you would!

OK, off to shower and get ready for the day. It's going to be beautiful out, I think I might go take a long walk this afternoon.

WHO SAID THAT?????

Happy Friday....let's talk about The Daily Plate!

Ah, another lovely rainy day in Central Ohio. Gotta love spring in the Buckeye State, eh?

So yesterday my friend Sue turned me on to a nifty little website called The Daily Plate, which is a great way to track what you eat! Remember "if you bite it, write it"? Well, I wrote it all yesterday. The only reason I'm NOT shocked is because I had already logged into TDP so I knew how many calories I could have and modified what I shoved into my mouth accordingly. Had it just been a normal day and I was randomly eating all over the place, I'd have probably been mortified. And eaten more to shove down the embarrassment.

The Daily Plate tells me that for my height (5'8"...I actually measured, and have lost 1" in height over the years. Guess that's what 3 degenerated disks will do for a girl!) and my weight (you didn't really think I was going to post that for all the world to see, did you???) and because I want to lose 2 lbs a week, I need to be eating no more than 1,761 calories per day. If you think about it, that's not restrictive by any means. I could eat 6 Healthy Choice meals in a day on that! haha Or if I went the liquid diet route, I could have 5.45 Margaritas a day. Now we're on to something.

While you can certainly eat "whatever you want", I will at least say that I have learned enough from Dr Steward (LOL) to know that fruits, veggies, legumes, etc are the way to go. So I'm bringing food from home, and doing this the right way for a change....yes folks, the old dog (waves hand!) will eventually put the new tricks to good use.

So as I said, I tracked all that I ate yesterday and at the end of the day I still had 161 calories left . Sweet! I could have had a glass of wine last night! Dammit, now is not a good time for that thought to dawn on me.

Now I need to figure out how to put a tracker on my blog so I can track weight loss. This morning I was 1.4 lbs less than yesterday. Yea me! I must have peed a lot last night. LOL

Oh, and it bears noting that I haven't had a cigarette in a week or so now. Turns out, when I don't drink, I don't even want to smoke! Who knew?

So here I am....47.

Wow.

Why is it that I feel 37 mentally and 57 physically? Gee, maybe because I'm overweight, out of shape, still smoking on occasion, and refusing to set foot anywhere near a gym? Let's face it, if I'm going to be sweating and breathing hard, there better be nudity involved. I'm just sayin.

So I decided to start blogging. Jump on the wagon, so to speak. (Hey, that would qualify as exercise, right?) I was told today that I should start recording everything I eat..."if you bite it, write it". That way you are more cognizant of your food behaviors.

Food behaviors? I eat anything that doesn't move. How's that for a food behavior?

OK so back to the purpose of this blog. I just turned 47 a few weeks ago. Clearly, I'm not getting any younger. So if I plan on taking one last run at being "all that" (ok so I've never actually been "all that", but I'd like to, at least once before I die, hear someone say "You're too skinny!" without any sort of medical intervention being involved!)...anyway, I need to get that last run started.

The thing is, I *know* better. My best friend is a naturopathic doctor, for heaven's sake! She has tried for years to get me on the right track (not to mention, to save my life) and I've fought her every step of the way. Whining at the top of my lungs..."It's too "hard" to eat healthy and organic and natural. I don't "like" to exercise. Yes, I "know" I have no business eating meat or any other animal products with my history of colitis, and family history of colon cancer." I can lecture other people until the cows come home about the bad effects of dairy on your body! (pun intended) So it's not like I'm stupid, or clueless, and have gotten to this point in life by accident. My body is what it is because of my own negligence. Period. I got nobody to blame but me.

So I figured accountability is a good place to start. I don't know if anyone will ever read this, so I'm not sure who I'm being accountable to or what I'm really even accounting for. Am I going to post what I eat every day? Maybe. That should be good for a laugh. Am I going to post how lazy I am and how much time I log being hortizontal rather than vertical? Possibly.

I'm just starting slowly at the exercise thing. If I type enough, I should have really skinny fingers, right?