Yeah, I realize you can look at the labels on the side of this blog, see all the ones for diet and motivation and say "Gee Julie, you were motivated 5 months ago? Oh, and 3 months ago? How's that working out for you???"
It's not. I suck at this.
However, after seeing pictures of myself at the wedding and realizing just how huge I am, it makes me sick. I have lied to myself long enough, with "Oh, it's the camera angle" or "This shirt makes me look fat". No sweetie, it isn't the camera or the shirt. It's YOU.
I did one of those weight calculators based on my height and age and frame size and hair color and whatever other stupid factors they considered, and according to it, I am 80 lbs out of range. EIGHTY POUNDS. And that's out of the high end of the range! I'm 100 lbs out of the low end!
I need to lose an Olsen. That's fucking depressing.
Funny thing is, I'm no heavier weight-wise than I was 3 years ago. But for some reason, it's all gone soft and squishy. I have rolls now where they don't belong! I'm talking in areas of my body that is NOT MEANT TO HAVE AN OVERHANG. I look at myself naked and seriously, I cannot stand the view. How on earth do I think I could ever share it with some poor unsuspecting man??????????
Ugh. I never had good self esteem anyway and what little I did have got snatched away during my
Didn't it have any impact on me, watching my sister struggle for 8 weeks after having a massive stroke that should have killed her right off the bat, and ultimately took her life anyway? Do I honestly think that can't happen to me?? She smoked, she drank, she didn't exercise either. And guess what, the shape of my body now rivals hers exactly. I used to always notice how she was very thick between her waist and her chest, and now I am too.
I am not going to fucking die like she did. I refuse. I will not put my family through it, I will not put my son through losing his mother. HE deserves better, and so do I.
I deserve to fall in love again and have a second chance at happily ever after.
I deserve to watch my son go off to college, to have a career, and be a happy, healthy and successful man.
I deserve to play with my grandchildren and spoil them rotten.
I deserve to live until I'm 90, and still be able to take care of myself.
And by God, I'm going to get all those things!!!!
I'm 3 days in, and I'm feeling good. I did a half hour of Wii Fit last night, and my new Wii Fit age is 42.
By the time my 30 year class reunion rolls around in May, I will be one hot mama.
7 comments:
Love you! You can do it!!!!
By the time your reunion comes around your Wii Fit age may be 35, wouldn't that be awesome? Unrealistic? Maybe a little, but awesome for sure.
I wish I had a Wii Fit. I have been asking for one for months...*sigh. I guess I may just have to buy my own.
I had the same revelation last week. Did one of those weight calculators and it said I am 45 pounds overweight. I feel stupid saying this, but it was like I woke up one morning and all the weight was just there. I know that's not how it happened, but it seemed to just jump out at me. I am sick of me - I hate the way I look. I have to do something about it. It's time to do something about it.
Good luck with yours!
I was LMAO@ loosing an Olsen-thats funny Julie
I will join ya right after this ciggie and bud light with lime....I kid I kid...about joinng you...no really i mean I kid about the bud light
All joking aside I know you can do this and I soooo want wii fit too maybe my SSS will be a RICH SSS and send me one for the exchange-speakin of the SSS I havent recieved your RSVP!
You can totally do it! And you know if you need any support or anything, I'm here! ((HUGS))
You can do it!!! We're all here for support if you need us :) Way to go on the exercize!!!!!!!!
You go girl!!
How do you like your Wii Fit? I don't know anyone that has it.
PS I found you through SSS.
Okay, I am with you!!! And yes, the olsen's thing- fuckin hilarious. That's who my sister Amelia Bedelia and I say we are...heh
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