When I drink too much:
1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.
2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt while yelling "Woohoo!" is truly the sexiest dance move around.
3. I’ve suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe I could do it too.
4. In my last trip to pee, I realize I now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.
5. I drop my 3am submarine sandwich on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.
6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them soooooooooooo much.
7. I get extremely excited and jump up and down eveyr time a new song plays because "Oh My God, I LOVE THIS SONG!!!"
8. I’ve found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me.
9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.
10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.
11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
13. I think I'm in bed but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor.
14. I start every conversation with a booming "Don't take this the wrong way, but..."
15. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.
16. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
17. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.
18. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.
Now, I haven't felt like that in quite awhile but I sure have my war stories from days gone by!
Tell me your best drunken moment....
5 comments:
That would have to be the year my BFF Susan and I went clubbing while we were still either in high school or just after we graduated and it was so stink'n hot out that when we left the bar we saw a fountain across the street and decided to jump in!! The only dumb thing about that was I took off my shoes and ended up cutting open my big toe on the stupid fence that was on the bottom! It was fun anyway and I did not feel it from being so drunk until the next day!!!
OMG...You sound like the same kind of drunk I am!
I've been drunk once in my life and it was 25 years ago. You sound like fun though. LOL Which articles of clothing??
I was lnao@sitting down to pee with a closed toliet lid
my story involves running...the cops...boys I didnt know..climbing over a fence....thats all I'm saying to protect the innocent...yanno?
I laughed so much as I read this! I don't drink a whole lot anymore, mainly because my body just doesn't handle it well. But, when I do go all out and get crazy, I experience so many of the same things you do! Too funny!!! :)
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