Hot Damn I'm Happy

Like seriously, dude. I'm happy as hell.

Not only in my romantic life (which is fanfuckingtastic), but just overall. I'd do one of those little Lucky Charms side heel clicks if I were only coordinated enough and wouldn't break something in the process!

Yesterday I closed a house, and was reminded again how much I really do enjoy selling real estate. And that commission check certainly added to my joy as I deposited it into my bank account today. I really need to work on marketing myself this year, and getting a few more transactions under my belt. It's a great source of additional income, and something I enjoy doing. Hello Captain Obvious....so go DO IT.

Our cruise is 54 days away, and I am getting SO FRICKIN EXCITED! We're looking into excursions at the various ports now. The itinerary changed a bit, instead of being on at sea on my actual birthday, we'll be in Costa Maya, Mexico. So we'll find some fun little thing to do there. The next stop in Belize, I found a great zipline/rappelling tour thing that we've gotta do!

(Forget the fact that I'm scared of heights, and the zipline soars over the treetops of the rainforest!)

I don't have any overwhelming desire to "swim" with dolphins, and I don't know how to scuba or snorkel, but there are a kajillion other options at the various ports, so I know we'll have a blast.

AND...we booked our airfare Sunday and I really am happy about that....I've been watching flights daily for the past month and could never find anything under $450 per person for us. Sunday, I decided to check as we were watching TV, and with a little compromise on time, we booked them for $250 each. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The nice thing is that we get off the ship at 8am on Sunday the 27th, and then will have all day in New Orleans (Hello Bourbon Street!) to enjoy the sites and then fly out Monday morning.

Let's see....what else....

Oh yeah, my beloved boyfriend TEXTED ME today.

Now, you may not find that newsworthy, until you understand that he has refused to text for the entire six months we've been together. He doesn't like it, he doesn't want to communicate that way, and he's flat out said...NO, I won't do it. (You have to realize, he would really prefer to not even carry a cell phone, and the one he has is like the Pinto of cell phones...old and beat up and not technologically advanced at all!) I text him on occasion because he'll read them, he just won't respond.

So today I'm driving along in my car and my text goes off, and when I picked up my phone and saw his name and the message, for a minute it didn't dawn on me *what* it was....then all of a sudden I was like "OMG, I just got a text from Michael!" And then I almost wrecked my car. LOL

The best part was that it was a cute little text reminding me of something that happened this past weekend, so not only was it sweet that he was thinking about me, and sweeter that he was making me laugh with what he said, but sweetest of all was that it came via TEXT.

My God, there is hope after all. Hahahahahahahahahaha. (If you're reading this blog post, I love you, honey! Thank you for the text and I promise if you send me more, I won't turn every one of them into blog fodder!)

I love my life. And I *love* being happy.

I think this was written just for me.

Funny how the road twists and turns in life.  But thank God for the ride!

I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yes He did

I think about the years I spent, just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there, you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

But now I'm just rolling home into my lover's arms
This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Think it, see it, say it.  BELIEVE IT. 

Done!

Something to remember.

‎"You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith" ~Mary Manin Morrissey

I needed to read this right now.

Who the hell saw this coming? Not me!

So Dr. Penny has been telling me for years...YEARS....that I have to change my thinking in order to change my life.

I hate it when that bitch is right. LOL She NEVER lets me forget it.

Seriously though....

I finally took her advice. And I changed my perception...my thoughts...my actions. I stopped "wanting" what I didn't have, I stopped the constant barrage of negative, toxic thoughts that my marriage/divorce put into my head. I quit being "that girl", the one who was cheated on and totally fucked over by someone who was supposed to love her for the rest of her life. I stopped worrying about never being able to trust a man again, to fall in love again. Hell I even quit worrying about paying the mortgage on my condo until I found a new renter. I quit worrying about how I was going to make sure Jordan got into college...how I would afford it, etc., and how was I going to throw a going away party AND stock a dorm room with everything he needed in a month where I was paying two mortgages because I didn't have a renter? And of course, my constant fears and worries about Jordan leaving home, and my upcoming scarily empty nest.

I just stopped everything. All the negative thoughts. All the worrying. All the stressing out about stuff.

And what I started doing was thinking positively.

Living as though I had all I needed and wanted.

Being thankful for all the blessings in my life and all the blessings to come.

I started being "happy", even when I didn't feel it. Fake it til you make it, sister.

And you know what happened?

I signed the best renter for my condo, this lovely 70 years young woman (who reminds me very much of Dr. Penny herself in another 10 years!) who I pray has many healthy years ahead of her in my condo!

My son is successfully in school, and we didn't even have to pay a dime over his school loans this quarter. We had a great going away party, and I managed to find that extra $500 I needed for dorm stuff. It was "just there".

And we all know I have fallen head over heels in love with That Guy Again. With him, I am happier than I have ever been. He is such a good person, and he makes me want to be a better person than I am. The absolute best part of my day is his face first thing in the morning when I open my eyes, and the last thing I see at night. Truly, I had no idea that *this* was what being in love felt like. What being loved felt like.

My life has done a 180 in the past couple of months, and I am 100% convinced it because my thoughts, and my words, became my actions. When I lived in a constant state of fear and loss, my life was pretty sucky, I've gotta tell ya. I wasn't "living". I was just getting through the day the best I could. These days, I live in joy. I live in the positive. I have realized that I am worthy of all the wonderful things coming my way.

My God, I love my life. And I am so thankful for everything I have, and everything to come.

Do me a favor....get rid of your negative thoughts ok? There's a whole fantastic world out there just waiting on you to live it.

Thanks, Dr. Penny.  I love you.