Looking for the perfect house? Here's the 411 for you....

Trust me. I'm a Realtor.

For those of you looking for a new home who need clarification on what the jargon of the industry means, here is a list of descriptions to watch out for. I think with just a little bit of knowledge, the world will continue to be a very dangerous place. ...

Baroque = Broken
Casual Living = Your neighbors have a refrigerator on their front lawn
Charming = Corners don’t line up. Sagging porch.
Country Living = Your street will never see a snow plow.
Cozy = Cramped
Diverse Wildlife = Raccoons will raid your garbage. Bats will roost in your attic. Coyotes will eat your dog. Bears will eat your children.
Urban Setting = Ghetto
Family-ready = Previous tenants left toys everywhere
Historic = Has ghosts
Interesting History = Has murderous ghosts
Laid-back Lifestyle = Retirement Community
Outdoor fire-pit = Previous owner burned the garage to the ground.
Private Drive = All your neighbors were eaten by redneck cannibals
Quaint = Outdated
Quiet neighbors = Cult compound
Scenic View = Adjacent Cemetery
Spacious = No windows
Starter Home = Cardboard box
Tree-lined = Welcome to the jungle
Unique Layout = Architect was unlicensed and possibly schizophrenic
Waterfront Property = Septic tank backs up in spring

(Thanks to my buddy John for providing today's blog fodder!)

The Missing Puzzle Piece

My horoscope for today:

Ever been on the verge of finishing a jigsaw puzzle only to discover the last piece has gone missing? And remember how frustrating it feels to not find it after hours of searching, only to discover it a day later hiding under the sofa's dust ruffle? A small but possibly life-changing piece of your own personal puzzle will fall into place, but only when you're not hunting for it. Don't try and force this; it'll happen quite nicely on its own.

Interesting.

I thought it was worth a blog post of it's own, seeing how my whole theme here is "one puzzling piece at a time".

In other news....

I had a showing on my condo last night and I have another showing tonight! PRAY PRAY PRAY that I get an offer on this thing! My renter is moving out the end of September and I am ready to let it go. So I ask all of my readers, send some good vibes my way, will you? That one of these showings results in an offer and a contract!

Also, I am working with a new buyer, and of course Crystal's house will finally close on the 17th.

Real Estate is becoming my friend!

Wonder if that's the missing piece? Eh, I don't care what it is, as long as whatever is missing is GOOD.

I'm so excited!!!!!! And I just can't hide it!!!!

I have a buyer in contract!!!!!!

I've been dabbling in this real estate thing for almost 2 years now. Of course I got my license right as the housing market took a dump! So the first year I really didn't even try to do much. Plus, this is my "nights and weekends" gig, thankfully I don't depend on the income full time!

This past year I've had houses listed that ended up being taken off the market, I've had buyers unable to get financed, I've had houses not appraise and contracts cancelled. It's been like the perfect storm of real estate keeping me from closing a damn sale!

It is my belief, that the storm is over.

My buyer is in great shape, the house *seems* to be fine (of course we'll see after the appraisal and inspection), and I am confident this will close and I will officially have my first sale.

It's about freaking time!

And you have NO idea how good it feels! Yay me!

In other news....

Heart was great. Danica and I had a good time. My only issue with the venue was that it was lawn seating, which was fine if there was a spot ON the lawn to sit. We ended up standing for several hours and as you know, with my three herniated disks, standing for any length of time does not bode well for me. Needless to say by the time the concert started, I was in so much pain it wasn't funny. We ended up cutting out a little early because ~ loving the Wilson sisters or not ~ I had pain shooting down my legs and up my back and I had to go.

Turns out they played about two songs after we left so we didn't miss all that much.

My review of the show would be this....the ladies still rock. Ann has gained SO much weight, and I felt so bad for her. Her voice has lost a little of it's power quality, and maybe that's because she's so heavy, I dont' know. Nancy can still jump around and rock the guitar though! Song choice was good, but they sang too many covers of other people's music, when they have such a catalog of their own to choose from.

And that's all folks, have a great Monday!

You can get up off your knees now....unless you are enjoying it!

The showing went well. They seemed to love the house. I'm feeling pretty good that we'll get an offer on it!

Look what I did this afternoon. My computer room that I shared with my son was a disaster area. And now that he's got a laptop and we don't need two desks in there, I cleaned it up and out and now I have my own Real Estate office in my house!




It still needs some work. On the opposite wall (where the door is) you can't see Jordan's guitars and amp. I'm going to eventually get him to put those in his room and maybe put a chair and a side table/lamp in here. Not that I think I'll be hanging out in here reading but heck, you never know.

I'm all excited! At least one room in my house is presentable! It motivates me to make others that way!!!!

Oh, no date yet with Bachelor #2. I haven't made the call. I need to get motivated to do that. I wonder if I really don't want to date as much as I think I do?

OK clearly we have a listening problem.

So perhaps I need to be a bit clearer. And louder.


Dear Universe:

You have until 5pm EST to approve the f*cking loan.

APPROVE THE LOAN! NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

You do not want to cause M&S to lose this house. It will not be pretty. We have all been patient but you are really, really trying us now.


APPROVE THE LOAN! NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

APPROVE THE LOAN! NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

APPROVE THE LOAN! NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

APPROVE THE LOAN! NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

APPROVE THE LOAN! NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

APPROVE THE LOAN! NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

APPROVE THE LOAN! NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

APPROVE THE LOAN! NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

APPROVE THE LOAN! NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

APPROVE THE LOAN! NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!



Thank you.

Love, Julie

Dear Universe

Thank you for letting M & S get their loan approval tomorrow and letting them close before the end of the month.

Love, Julie

Real Estate is going well, though!

In other news....

My real estate business is picking up! I have a house in contract (yea Melissa!), have one listed, and another one ready to list soon, and a pre-approved buyer who just needs to make time to start looking.

I enjoy real estate. Not that I don't like my regular day job, but it's fun doing something different. I've been in accounting for the last 75 years or something, which sucks for a girl who never ever balanced her own checkbook. So at least now I'm doing something I enjoy, and am not just collecting a paycheck for.

So remember if you have something to sell, or want to buy...I'm your girl. Ain't nothing better than spending other people's money. LOL