Happy Friday!

TGIF, eh? It's been a long week, but a good one so I can't complain. And hopefully I won't have to work this weekend, although I really should come in for a bit.

Can you believe it, I forgot to weigh in this morning! But again it was another morning of putting on jeans that I didn't have to suck anything in to button. And they've stretched out so much this morning that I feel like a teenager walking around with my underwear exposed and baggy ass seat. Then I hike 'em up (which is such a classy action when one is wearing high heels) and off I go.

I feel like I'm shrinking, which is weird. This morning I noticed it when I put my robe on...there was more robe to wrap. Can that be possible on someone my size, after only 6 lbs gone forever? Maybe I'm just unbloating. I dunno...I'll take it regardless!

Got Marilu Henner's new book last night called "Wear Your Life Well". I think it's going to be really good. I haven't worn my life well in...well, 47 years! Anyone can look at me and know that the circles and bags under my eyes are from not eating right, as is the blotchy bloated face and the fat all over my body! My house is seriously dirty, my office is a mess...I don't seem to have control over any area of my life. The only clean areas around me are my purse and my car! (Two very expensive items I seem to take care of!)

I think it's true that your outer surroundings reflect your inner chaos. The past few years of my life have been very, very stressful and chaotic. Some of it I could have controlled, some of it has been completely out of my control. In a two year period I lost my job, went to work for my fiance', married him, my mother broke a hip, my sister had a massive stroke, my father had a small stroke three days later, we bought a house and I had to relocate my child in the middle of his 7th grade year, my sister passed away, my husband and child and I had to go to family counseling because we were having a very tough time living as a family, my father passed away, my mother broke another hip, my husband and I went for 4 months not collecting paychecks at work and having to spend all of our savings etc to survive, and the coup de grace was him having an affair and us getting a divorce, and me having to find not only a new job, but a new house, a new car, and relocate again. That was the final straw, my life was blown up around me and I really had to dig deep to find the strength to go on.

That's pretty much every major life stressor there is, that happened to me in a two year period of time. And we wonder why I'm not always playing with a full deck? haha

The point I was making is this...I've had a lot going on for a long time. It's been 2 1/2 years since my divorce and it's time to get my act together once and for all. Yes, a lot of shit happened that wasn't fair and I didn't deserve. But I also allowed myself to stay in a situation afterwards that wasn't healthy either. And my outside world still reflects that.

So I'm taking back my life, dammit. I have sat around and whined long enough about what I lost. It's time to start living again! I'm making the long needed changes in my life to make it something I'm proud of, that I want to share with someone, and that I can enjoy.

In the immortal words of Janet Jackson....

Got my own mind
I wanna make my own decisions
When it has to do with my life, my life
I wanna be the one in control

Hey, I could have quoted "Nasty Girl"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!