Dear AEP (American Electric Power)

I realize you have been inundated with power outages due to the hurricane-like winds that came through Ohio last Sunday.

I was one of the 4 million people who was out of power, however it was only for 24 hours before it was restored. So, thanks for that.

However, it has come to my attention that my power is out again.

This does not excite or thrill me.

Your office tells me they have no idea why it is out, perhaps you had to cut my power in order to fix other outages. While it's not a huge deal, seeing how I am at work and not at home, I'm okay with making sacrifices so that my neighbors can have their power restored.

But get your asses in gear and get it fixed by 6pm when I get home. Because the only thing worse than being dateless and alone on a Friday night, is having to sit in the dark with no A/C or TV as well.

Sincerely,

Julie

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WOW! AEP Responded, courtesy of their effervescent representative, Jilljillbobill:

Dear Julie,
We received your letter and unfortunately inform you that you will be without any electricity until Sun morning. Because of this inconvenience, we are sending our two best electricians, Matt and Ben, over to assist you in any way possible. You might know them as they have appeared in Playgirl and have done some recent porn movies. They will be at your beckoned call and have their palm fronds ready to fan you, liquor to relax you, and lotion available for your massages. If the urge to become physical overwhelms you, understand that even though they are on company time, they can partake in whatever makes our customers happy. Our motto will always be "We please our customers". Thank you for your patronage.
Sincerely.
The Power Co.

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Dear AEP:

It's all good. Take your time.

Love, Julie