As you know, my Mom has been in a nursing home for about three years now, full time. She lived there in assisted living while my Dad was in the Alzheimer's unit, and after he died she came back out and lived with me until my divorce, and then went back.
So the place she was at, Yorkland, sucked. It really did. I would walk in Mom's room and my flip flops would stick to the floor. They wouldn't change her pants (she wears Depends things) for days, and she would smell. (I know that's awful to say, but it's the truth) We'd have to make her change them when we'd go over. The care had steadily gone downhill for several years now, but Mom didn't want to leave because she knew everybody there. Every patient, every employee. I can understand that she had a comfort level there...it was her "home". But recently, her roommate died, and I truly believe my mother watched the "slow response" Maxine got while having a massive heart attack, after my mother had turned the nursing light on to alert the staff. A few weeks later, her new roommate had to go to the bathroom in the evening, and it took 2 1/2 hours...yes, 2 1/2 hours...for someone to respond to the light. I believe that's when my mother realized that she would die in that place and those people would just let her.
We moved her out to Pataskala, which is a five minute drive for both of my other sisters. The new place is wonderful. It's clean, it smells good, the nursing staff all have longevity there, the aides are people who enjoy working with the elderly and are not just there to collect a paycheck. You don't see lazy ass employees standing around passing time talking while people's lights are on. My mom is getting HOT food, HOT coffee, and gets served breakfast in bed whatever time she feels like getting up and eating! They help her to the bathroom, clean her up every single time, and change her pants if they need to be. She eats her meals at a table with three other women, all who have the same sharp mind my Mom does, even though one of the ladies is 95! Mom's starting to participate in activities (she went to Bingo yesterday) and she really seems to be quickly recognizing the vast difference in care that she's getting.
We are three days in, and she only has one complaint. She thinks the sugar is not as sweet here as it was at the other place. LOL
That's my mom!
I'm so thankful she wanted to move. As a child, you feel such a measure of guilt associated with having a parent in this situation. You feel as though you should be able to take care of her. But my sisters and I can't do it. We could...and did...at one point. Mom has lived with all of us at some time during the past 7 years. But she now needs full time care, and we can't provide that when we work all day. So in lieu of being able to do it yourself, you want your parent to be in a place that they are well taken care of.
Finally, I think we've found it.
2 comments:
I am so glad that you were able to find a place for you mom! That has to be one of the hardest things to do with a parent, and it breaks my heart to tell people that it is what they need. I am so happy to hear a 'feel good' story.
bhow nice to read a happy ending. my first job ever, at 16, was in a nursing home as a nurses aide. it was a devastating experience for me. an awful place and there was just not enough of me to go around to all the people who needed me.I never let a light stay on, I always stayed with them in the bathroom and when I could, I would just visit and talk. I was told not to spend so much time with patients. I was also told not to change bedsheets, nightgowns or Depends too often because of costs involved but I did it anyway. After 4 months working 4-5 nights a week, I quit. I just couldn't stand the flak I got. my mom is in an assisted living facility too. she hates it. not because there is anything wrong with it(my brother is there every day) but because she is French and they are American. Go figure.
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