Oh wait, I guess that is considered "grown up" now isn't it? Sigh.
Actually, the day I knew I was not just an adult, but a middle aged one, was when I realized I no longer ask potential dates if they have children...I ask them if they have grandchildren.
So anyway, now that I have an 18 year old living at home, I thought I would give him some tips for identifying when HE is a grown up. (Note, that should include paying his own cell phone bill...but I didn't list it here.)
So here you go, buddy. One day these are all gonna apply to you.
Your potted plants are alive... and you can't smoke any of them.
Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
You carry an umbrella because you watch the Weather Channel.
Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup.
You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
Jeans and a clean T-shirt no longer qualify as 'dressed up.'
You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door refuse to turn down the music.
Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
You don't know what time McDonald's closes anymore.
Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Eating chicken nuggets and fries at 3 a.m. would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
You go to the drug store for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.
A $5.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff.'
You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
"I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You don't drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
Enjoy being young and irreresponsible while it lasts! And don't forget, I've taken care of you for 18 years. You're gonna owe me one day when I'm old, and I have to move in with you, and you get to cook and clean for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wait, why do you have nursing homes on speed dial?
24 comments:
If they really were grown up at 18.
If you've accomplished that with your kiddo, please send me ALL your freaking notes.
Oh honey, I only my oldest would get that picture. She stills calls me for the littlest stuff.
I do have to admit that I pay for my daughters cell, because I added her on my plan. We have a 24hr rule. We have to talk to one another every day so that we know that we are all right. (last year she went to jail and a bad car wreck, 2 seperate things) I did not know if she dead or alive from that car accident. So thus the 24 hr rule was instituted.
Thanks I needed a smile before I had back to work.
Great list, I have three 18 year old nephews who are all going to get this along with their mothers! Jordan sounds like a great kid or young man rather!!
A fantastic list and funny, but probably only to adults.
OMG....I think I am a grown up too. Although...I still do a few of those things....my favorite was that your plants are alive and not to be smoked. LOL....gosh...you know 18 was fun....but I am really loving 55 right now...right here. Thanks for sharing these....and yeah....probably only grownups would find them hysterical! Happy Wednesday!
I like the twin bed one but I'd suggest that your know your grown up when having sex anywhere not only surprises the hell out of you but challenges your memory.
You forgot that he is going to have to wipe your ass too!
Yep, I'm queen of "I'm never going to drink that much again." I need to follow up with "until the next time, of course!"
I love that forward :)
Jesus! After reading that list, I'm glad I'm not a grown up yet!
Jeans and a clean t-shirt are NOT dressed up?? *shudder*
Those are so perfect!! You need to add 'you keep track of whether you had a BM today or not'. It's official then.
OK-now I know I am a grown up. And what a responsible mother you are for making sure your son knows the signs! :)
A few of the items on your list were iffy with me. What does that say about my 40-something ass?
Good list. I guess I'm grown up too...dammit.
All I can say is, growing up is highly overrated.
Married by 19, I greww up way too fast.
maybe I should go back and re live my youth;)
Ha! I knew I was grown up when I realized I could no longer throw a party with just a keg and a bag of Doritos and I had to actually come up with some sort of food to offer my guests. Man, I hate being an adult.
Wow! Both of my girls are grownup! Yes! I guess I did good too.
Jordan loves you too much to put you in a nursing home. Who's going to watch the grandbabies?
Love the list!
Yup. 48 and dating is crazy. We really ARE grown up. And if your anything like me...beginning to sag. grrr
Love this list! Except for the breakfast foods thing. At 34, I still avoid all those breakfasty foods and opt for a burger.
lol...this is great! i feel old just reading this...geez over half apply to me!
but i still drink before i go out!
D. All of the above
Knock, knock...just dropping by to visit your blog. I enjoyed myself! Have a great weekend.
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