So....the Sexy Blogger Award.

OK so I was given the Sexy Blogger award by my faux lesbian lover blogging buddy Deb, perhaps out of fear of relatiation of what might happen if she didn't bestow it on me, or because my blog happens to be at the top of her reading list only because it starts with a number.

Regardless of why I got it, the fact remains I can officially be known as Julie the SB, which in this case now means Sexy Blogger, not Skanky Bitch.

So, like every damn award, this one has rules. What's with the rules, people? Do you think when you get an Oscar, you have to immediately tell everybody what your ten favorite movies of all time are????? Blog Awards should have no strings attached. It's a gift. It's not herpes, it does not have to keep on giving!

Ooops, sorry...off on a tangent there.

Anyway...the rules for this award are that I have to post Five Sexy Things About Me.

For the love of all that is holy, do you people think if I had 5 sexy things about me, I'd have all this free time to blog???????????????? If I were that hot I'd be livin horizontal with something equally sexy holding me down!

Five things. Crap.

OK, here goes. I'll come up with five things even if I have to make shit up.

#1. My eyes. See picture below. I've been told many times that I have sexy eyes. In fact a reader recently emailed me after my Getting Naked again post and said "For God's sake, don't worry about getting naked again. I haven't seen a full length photo of you but you have such a beautiful face (Oh my God, those gorgeous eyes!) and a kind heart. If I were single, I would be more than happy with that." Dammit, why can't a non-married guy email that sentiment to me??



#2. My cheekbones. See picture above. When I'm not overweight undertall, they look pretty damn good.

#3. My eyelashes. Long and fake looking. Stiletto Mascara by Maybelline (or somebody, I don't really know who and don't feel like taking the time to figure it out right now) really makes them bat worthy.

#4. (OK sitting here staring at the screen and wondering what the hell I can come up with now!) How about my sparkling personality? Now that I'm starting to feel normal again and get back to the fun loving girl I was pre-marriage, I'm much happier, and The Real Julie is beginning to re-emerge. My close friends and family have missed "me" ths past eight years, or so they say. So, I guess this would be something that makes me sexy...I feel good again. I'm enjoying life again. I've got my confidence back and my energy back and have remembered that I really do have a lot to offer. In the immortal words of Karen Walker....Gosh, I don't think that I've ever been stressed out. Why would I be? I've got practically no responsibilities, my job's a breeze and I've got a KILLER rack. Good morning!

#5. Frankly, I've got nothing for #5 that I can actually put in print. Remember, my family and especially my son read my blog. So let's just say, #5 is a talent that is award winning in itself.

Okay, so there's my five sexy things about me! Now, I'm not sure if I have to give this award away, or if I can just hog it all to myself, but because I'm such a suck up giver, I'm going to pass it on.

Don't anybody get your panties in a wad if you aren't on this list. For the love of God, I can't list everyone!!!!! I only have so much time in a day!

Here we go...my nominations for Sexy Blogger are:

Fragrant Liar - She kills me with her humor (which is one of the sexiest traits in anyone). Every single day. I am never going to be over the Exercise Ball thing.

The Butler and Bagman Chronicles - It's a well known fact that I am in love with Bagman. Unfortunately, his alter ego Mark is happily married, otherwise I'd be hauling my ass south and turning into Paula Deen.

Diaries of a Jaded Heart - my buddy Jaded has been through some rough times this past couple of years, but aside from that, she's one of the hottest, sexiest mamas out there. When she dresses up for a night on the town...watch out.

Accidental Single Girl - Danica knows where I live. If I don't give her this award she will pout, stomp her foot, and whine. And then come after me. I'm afraid of her 5'2", 100 lb self. She's a spitfire! But I love her like a sister...

Travel Girl - My boo. LOL We're gonna have so much fun in Vegas.

Vegas Linda Lou - Seriously, we have a separated-at-birth thing going on. I love her with a passion usually reserved for all things chocolate.

Cuz I Said So, That's Why - Missy stepped right up and offered to send me handcuffs. The fact that she had them so readily available turned me on. Imagine what it did to my male readers!

Life Is Good - Seriously, have you seen Dana with her sex toys?

OK I have to stop listing people now. I could go on and on, and now I feel bad that I'm not listing everyone.

So if you are reading this blog, take the damn award. No, really. It's yours. You're all sexy in your own way, and I just can't list everyone. So please, post it on your blog, leave me a comment about it, and let's see what the Five Sexiest Things about my 160 readers are.

(Shit! When did I get 160 readers????)

I'm bringin sexy back....