For those of you looking for a new home who need clarification on what the jargon of the industry means, here is a list of descriptions to watch out for. I think with just a little bit of knowledge, the world will continue to be a very dangerous place. ...
Baroque = Broken
Casual Living = Your neighbors have a refrigerator on their front lawn
Charming = Corners don’t line up. Sagging porch.
Country Living = Your street will never see a snow plow.
Cozy = Cramped
Diverse Wildlife = Raccoons will raid your garbage. Bats will roost in your attic. Coyotes will eat your dog. Bears will eat your children.
Urban Setting = Ghetto
Family-ready = Previous tenants left toys everywhere
Historic = Has ghosts
Interesting History = Has murderous ghosts
Laid-back Lifestyle = Retirement Community
Outdoor fire-pit = Previous owner burned the garage to the ground.
Private Drive = All your neighbors were eaten by redneck cannibals
Quaint = Outdated
Quiet neighbors = Cult compound
Scenic View = Adjacent Cemetery
Spacious = No windows
Starter Home = Cardboard box
Tree-lined = Welcome to the jungle
Unique Layout = Architect was unlicensed and possibly schizophrenic
Waterfront Property = Septic tank backs up in spring
(Thanks to my buddy John for providing today's blog fodder!)
15 comments:
Those were funny. Some of them are true when I was looking for a home some of those applied. lol
The picture of that house is a fine example why I like having an HOA that regulates (sometimes too much!) the neighborhood and writes some covenants of the dos and don'ts!
I think the Partridge family has a bus to throw in with the sale of that house
Ohn said it all, LOL. Actually I think your friend also hit the nail on the head with his descriptions, especially the "interesting history" one!
LOL too funny!!! That picture ROCKS!
That was priceless....and the picture...well...I hope that house is located either in Auburn, AL (school colors)...or Gainesville, FL (again school colors). There is a man in Lafayette, AL...who had to paint his house because the neighbors complained so...after he painted it (he was an artist) I am sure the neighbors wished they had kept their mouths shut. It was close to Easter...and the painted the house lavender...with easter eggs and bunnies all over the front...every holiday or season he changes the paint to fit the event. It draws a lot of attention...something I am sure the neighbors were not happy with either....I find it funny....but he does not live in my neighborhood so it is easy to chuckle. Moral...be careful what you ask for....paint...is a broad term.
If that house was within my price range and in my city I would buy it.
Cassie
That was great! And sadly too often true! LOL
Can you say "fixer-upper"??!
Fixer-upper = condemned!
Loved your list, thanks for the morning chuckle!
This is good to know, can imagine the agent's eyes twinkling.
the house looks like something that I would do if I was at war with my meighbors and really wanted to agitate the living daylights out of them.
The sad thing is, those people thing it's pretty.
Toooo funny! I bet you could come up with something funny with short sales too. Considering I'm in the middle of one and all I have to say is "short sale my ass" total oxymoron or somebodys totally a moron not sure if it's the banks or me for going through this bass akwards process!
Oh Yes. I think I'm actually living in that house.
Groan.
This was my favorite -->
Historic = Has ghosts
Interesting History = Has murderous ghosts
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