1. If you could have one servant come to your house every day for an hour, what would you have them do?
2. If there was one thing relating to your love life that you could be blackmailed for, what would it be?
3. If you had to name the one thing that should turn you on but just never does, what would it be?
4. If you had to pick the worst sexual experience of your life, what would it be?
5. If you had to guess which person, among all your BLOGGER friends, is the most kinkiest in private, who would it be?
All of the usual Jules Rules apply. I know who you are, I know you read these, and if you don't leave a comment I'm going to come to your blog and tell all your readers that you're too shy to talk about sex with perfect strangers on the Internet. I have Analytics, and I'm not afraid to use them.
As for my answers, here you go:
1. That's a toss up between a massage, and hair & makeup. I think I'd go for the latter, because if I looked that damn good every day, finding someone to give me a massage wouldn't be that hard.
2. First of all, Cheri and Penny...be very careful how you respond. Remember, I have material on both of you. OK, well let me think. Christ, the 80's were dangerous, there is SO much that could be used against me. Let's just say there were several times in that decade that I woke up with a fuzzy memory of the night before, and preferred to keep it that way.
3. Anyone doing anything near, on or in my ear. Ugh, I shuddered just typing that. I don't like having my ears bitten, sucked on, licked, kissed, and the absolute worst, having someone stick their damn tongue in it. OMG, that grosses me out. Stay the hell away from my ears.
4. Back in 1987, I dated some guy for about a month before doing the deed, and the night I finally did I was "overserved" at the local bar, so I wasn't exactly clear headed by the time we got home. We got undressed and got into bed, and I remember reaching down...and thinking "Did I just grab his thumb?" It wasn't until he moaned "Oh baby, yes..." that I realized "OMG, that's not his...OMG it is!" Yep,at full attention it was that small. Needless to say, I immediately stopped fighting the buzz and said "Screw this, I'm so going to sleep. That is NOT worth staying awake for". We never dated again.
5. You know, this is kind of hard to answer! Since Penny is my real life BFF, and I already KNOW this about her, I'll have to go with the wild cards. I'm torn between Deb (seriously, who did not see that coming?), Jen (just a hunch I have about her), Linda Lou, of course (she's my separated at birth sister), and I'm pretty sure Jaded has her moments as well. And then there's Jill and Darlene and Georgie, who act all sweet and stuff but I have no doubt there is leather and handcuffs in their closests, and I have to put Dana on the list just because if I don't, she will put a cap in my ass. The rest of you, I just didn't out you, but don't think I don't think it's true!
41 comments:
Ewwwww....I love this one (I don't know why I said ewwww, I meant to say ohhh!).
#1 - make my bed AND rub my feet!!
#2 - see #1 (I have an illegal immigrant for a servant. Please don't tell anyone though okay?)
#3 - Vodka....specifically Absolut Peppar...
#4 - Football player's locker room in high school. Nope, not a joke....you read it right...Oh the horror. I'm still a little traumatized
#5 - I'm going to guess you 47 And Starting Over. Us menopause girls are just hitting our peak right?
Have a great day and......
Steady On
Reggie Girl
If I had to be in the "torn between" list, couldn't I have been a little farther down the chart? First??!! I;m never first at anything and now I have this distinction.
I'll be beack with my answers to the sex questions, I forgot to clean Big Blus this morning.
BTW, that was Big Blue - I don't know who Big Blus is.
1. I'd want him to bring a Roomba so he could clean my floors while giving me a full body massage.
2. Believe it or not, there is nothing. I am so out in the open about all that I've done, nothing can be held against me. I'm a freak like that.
3. Definitely ears as well. Yuck. Don't touch 'em. And french kissing. I just can't get passed the idea of how many germs are being swapped.
4. Hmmmm...probably being so completely bored that I literally fell asleep during intercourse. (I hadn't even been drinking.)
5. Are You Sassified? Just cause.
OK on the first one............I was thinking of someone coming over and cleaning my house!!!
#1. Definitely the hair and makeup option you chose. I can dress myself fine, but hell if I know what to do with my hair. I need Stacy and Clinton for real.
#2. Oh shit. Seriously? You already know. And don't try to blackmail me with it cause I'm poor.
#3. When hubby thinks he's being sexy. He falls just about T H I S short. Now when he's not trying, and he's paying baseball with his cap on backwards - OH MY FATHER! I wanna throw him down right there on the field.
#4. Easily my first. The guy I was with was abusive and ruined me for a long time. I didn't want anyone to touch me after that.
#5. I hate to throw someone under the bus, but damn Tiffany is way kinkier than I am. Then I would pick JJBB. All that preacher's wife stuff is a front.
LMAO!! That was hilarious!
1. mop my floor and give me a pedicure.
2. I hired a hooker for a guy my age when we were seniors in HS and on a school sponcered trip. He had narked on us the last trip for drinking and so I just paid him back. He now is some legislator/bigwig in D.C. He can probably have me killed for that confession.
3. I have that same exact hatred of someone licking my ears. I dry heaved just thinking about it.
4. Again- same instance with the teenie weenie. I have tiny hands and when it doesn"t stick out of my hand, we have issues people.
5. I say that Gdog is a tiger. rrRRRR! But I know the four of us together would be D.A.N.G.E.R.O.U.S.
Julie.. there is friggin' way you are coming to my blog and ratting me out on sex!
1. hair, make-up and wardrobe (they could iron while choosing wardrobe)
2. it's all open, no secrets.
3. blowing in the ear (yuck!)
4. 1st night of honeymoon (with ex)
5. Julie-you are probably either a nun behind closed doors or THE craziest of the crazies!
I'm going to answer these.... I just have a great excuse right now. Hello, I am single parenting!
Can I have a hall pass please?
I am happy to stay after class and make these up! Just give me till bedtime!
I can answer some of these right now, but a few, I'm going to have to think on. THEN I'll get back to you.
1. A massage. Oh my god, what I could get done, if only someone would rub me down for an hour a day! Total bliss.
2-4 I really have to think about. I'm not quite with it just yet this morning.
5. Jeez! There are only two of you on my friends list and since I'm new to this, I don't know either one of you quite well enough to know this answer. SO, I'm going to have to wait until I've read some more to make that decision, or get some more friends. You know, of the blatantly kinky type.
1. massage
2. if i posted it here, then it couldn't be bad enough to blackmail me over!
3. in the ear, or toes
4. a one night stand- he was wayyy smaller than i thought he'd be!!!
5. i really couldn't even name just one, i bet all the nesties are closet kinks
1. If you could have one servant come to your house every day for an hour, what would you have them do? Back and foot massage. Oh God's could be heard across the land if I had this.
2. If there was one thing relating to your love life that you could be blackmailed for, what would it be? Something my first ex husband had done during sex.
3. If you had to name the one thing that should turn you on but just never does, what would it be?
Ok, I know this sounds strange but I seriously don't care if my breasts ever get touched.
4. If you had to pick the worst sexual experience of your life, what would it be? My very first time. I giggled through the entire short episode.
5. If you had to guess which person, among all your BLOGGER friends, is the most kinkiest in private, who would it be? Well you of course.
Oh Jules, you have already figured me out;)
Missed you!
1. hair, makeup and wardrobe
2. Getting busy under a tree late at night at an elementary school
3. Definitely the ear thing. The thought of a tongue in my ear makes me twitch.
4. Sex with the Juicer man who couldn't keep his food down or keep his "manhood" up.
5. I'd definitely have to name you, Jules. You've got the wild cat persona down!
ok, im shy.....i'll take all of your answers. great post though!
1) clean the bathrooms
2) one night stand in Mexico - shhhhh!
3) Feet - do not touch them. Gross!
4) There have been a lot.
*gasp* (I know) but the worst and a very long time ago: very high on drugs *gasp again* with some ginormous guy. There was just no way it was gonna work. He was pissed! It was awful.
5) You or Soxy Deb would be my guess.
Stumbled upon your blog from Picking Up the Pieces & look what I walked into! Ok, I'll play:
1. My first knee-jerk response was clean & do the laundry. But I like the hair & makeup idea...
2. At this point, nothing. How sad is that?!!? I've already confessed the worst thing.
3. I'm going with Julie on this one. STAY AWAY FROM MY EARS! Unless you are whispering naughty things in them...
4. Worst sexual experience = http://welcometothejuggle.blogspot.com/2009/02/ptsd.html (not to self-promote but there's no way to condense that into one sentence.)
5. The Bride (does it count that I know her in real life?) I know no one kinkier....
1. If you could have one servant come to your house every day for an hour, what would you have them do?
Fan me and hand-feed me grapes.
2. If there was one thing relating to your love life that you could be blackmailed for, what would it be?
Why would I give you ammunition to blackmail me?
3. If you had to name the one thing that should turn you on but just never does, what would it be?
Nobody touches Baby's feet. Nobody!
4. If you had to pick the worst sexual experience of your life, what would it be?
Like you, one time I coulda had a V-8. He was in and out and fini before I could say, are you in?
5. If you had to guess which person, among all your BLOGGER friends, is the most kinkiest in private, who would it be?
I refuse to answer on the grounds it might incriminate me, or get me killed.
You just had to mention sex! I thought I had got the whole, "I ain't gettin' any" out of my head! I come to visit and BAM! Sex on the brain again!
WOW! Thanks for thinking I'd be kinky--I'm so flattered. Sadly, I'm not kinky at all. (Surprising, I know.) It's because just with missionary, I'm multiply orgasmic and sometimes short out my brain; seriously, something happens to my brain waves. So anything kinky would put me over the top and I'd probably be retarded for life. That's a good excuse for not being kinky, though, huh?
Um, was that too much information?
Because of the "Jules rules", I feel compelled to answer. :)
1)I love your idea of having your hair&make-up done... but to have someone do all my cooking wouldn't be so bad either! Honestly, hair and make-up is fun, cooking is boring. So that servant would be cooking!
2)I can't think of anything really... not at this point! I am always careful not to do anything that will could get me in trouble later on.
3)Naked men. Haha.. I love men, I do. But naked men are just not pretty! At least not the lower half... Upper bodies are quite sexy! But that thing they walk around with, I prefer not seeing! Lights out!
4)Oh there was this one time, where I didn't really want to have sex but the guy was so persistent and strong that I decided I'll get out of there sooner if I just went along with it..
5)Who of my blogger friends are the most kinky... I almost feel bad calling someone out, but I would say sweet who's on holiday from blogging at the moment, Amber and the Demigoddess.
Fun questions! I'll post my responses at my blog, and link to you so more can answer :)
1. Clean.
2. The statute of limitations prevents me from divulging ... it's that bad.
3. Whispering. I'm with you on the ear thing.
4. My first.
5. Um, you Jules!
First, an apology. I can't do this on my blog. Too many relatives eyes. BUT...I have not been here before I don't think, and I LOVE your blog. Am following you and adding you to my blog roll. Its been a while since I found a new blog I love so yay!
And the woman with the 14 kids pisses me off so much I can't really even speak about it yet. Really liked your post and feel the same. Just cause its possible doesn't mean it should be done. Disgusting.
K...now you are going to think I'm a crazy blog stalker (which I am not) but I also read you may have recently (or not so recently) quit smoking...HOW?????
Well firstly I just want to say this ..I read the title "It's time for sex." and though OMG really truly?
ME ME ME is it my turn?
Remembered this is just a blog and started to breathe again ...
It's been a while, I've probably rusted or something!
1. If you could have one servant come to your house every day for an hour, what would you have them do?
Manicure/pedicure ....love that kind of attention.
2. If there was one thing relating to your love life that you could be blackmailed for, what would it be?
You mean like say, running away with a man I met on the internet ..a biker ...and having mad passionate sex for about 8 weeks non-stop. I'm sooooooo not ....
regretful hahaha. My 80 year old mother says it's the one and only time she recalls me doing anything shocking ....I think I need to aim for being more scandalous!
3. If you had to name the one thing that should turn you on but just never does, what would it be?
Anything to do with my ex-husband.
4. If you had to pick the worst sexual experience of your life, what would it be?
That fabulous night (not) when I came back from the afore mentioned insane affair to my now ex-husband. I will not be repeating anything like that ever again!
5. If you had to guess which person, among all your BLOGGER friends, is the most kinkiest in private, who would it be?
Well you know I've only just met all of you ....I barely know you.
Out of my VAAAAAASSSSTTTT sexual experiences of two ..I did say 2 ..
men in 53 years ....it's hard for me to say much at all.
Did I mention I'm the QUEEN OF BLUSHING?!
God. i laughed my ass off at the thumb dude.
What an interesting list of questions. I wrote about sex recently, but it was more of a theoretical game.
If you didn't know me, I would SO steal this idea for my blog!!!!
1. One hour?? OK. Clean ONE ROOM.
2. I've been so damn open and honest on my blog that nothing can be held against me. . . oh...there's THAT. nuff said
3. In my teens, a boy stuck his tongue in my ear and I went immediately into some kind of shaking, quivering mound of disgust that he thought I was having an orgasm and did it again. End of boy.
4. For an honest answer, you'll have to forget any preset notions about me: I've NEVER had a sexual encounter that was disgusting to me. Even the disgusting ones. Joe is a happy man.
5. Forget the kinky bloggers like Tiffany. Think of the SWEET ones. We're the ones the homicide detectives never suspect. I'd have to vote for Amelia and Jill because they have such SWEET photos, but they'd be far behind ME. Yah. The one with the gun fetish happens to now be outed as the sex freak.
Of course Deb and Dana would say ME. I'm sweet and innocent. They're the nasty ones. LOL
1. Rub my feet.
The rest I'll keep to myself. That's for my own protection and preservation. :)
1. Those farm chores.
2. That time.
3. That thing.
4. That pervert.
5. Dana
I don't like the ear thing either!
Love this one! Might have to steal it for my blog since I am running out of ideas to blog about!
I'm a newbie to your blog, I looved it... xoxo
It's probably too late to comment, but I can't resist...should, but can't.
1. I'd have the servant do therapy with my wife so she wouldn't be threatened by Bagman.
2. Use your analytics...I'm not touching this one.
3. Fondling of the family jewels.
4. Any number of them before I got sober in A.A. -- when, just after I knew I was getting lucky, I fell asleep instead.
5. Having no idea whatsoever, I would have to guess 47 And Starting Over.
OMGOSH!!!! handcuffs....LMAO....
shoot i hit enter before i was ready.....dayummmmmm i missed a lot this week....it's official i can never get sick and go back to work....i miss all the good stuffs
you had to go to comment mod? LOL...lordy what have i missed
yay! i love these crazy questions...here goes:
1. If you could have one servant come to your house every day for an hour, what would you have them do?
-give me a foot massage
2. If there was one thing relating to your love life that you could be blackmailed for, what would it be?
- a one night stand
3. If you had to name the one thing that should turn you on but just never does, what would it be?
-wow, i am stumped, honestly lots and lots of things turn me on.
4. If you had to pick the worst sexual experience of your life, what would it be?
- having someone kiss me and just doing more drooling than kissing. ewww. yuck. yuck. yuck.
my husband however - great kisser.
5. If you had to guess which person, among all your BLOGGER friends, is the most kinkiest in private, who would it be?
- you. you just seem like an 'everything goes' type of person (I sure hope your son does not read this comment!)
oh my, I just caught that the jaded in your post was me. (duhhhh)
Julie, you have no idea, you just have no idea. I can be a very bad girl.
hehehehe
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