Day Two of Julie's Management Course AND Car Update!

And you thought it was a one day thing. Please.


Lesson One:

Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office... but she was dating someone else.

One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you...

The girl looked at him, and then said, 'NO!'

Eddie said, 'I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up.'

She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend.

So she called him and explained the situation.

Her boyfriend says, 'Ask him for $200, and pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down.'

She agreed and accepts the proposal.

Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call.

Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks, 'What happened...?'

Still breathing hard, she managed to reply,

'The bastard had all quarters!'

Management lesson: Always consider a business proposition in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed

Lesson Two:

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.

The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

The Hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss.

Promptly, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.

Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.

Lesson Three:

The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked.

As they went along, they passed some people who remarked "it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding".

The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." So, they decided they both would walk!

Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So the both rode the donkey!

Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying "how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey". The boy and man said they were probably right so they decided to carry the donkey.

As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.

Management Lesson: If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass.

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So, last night Jordan comes home and says "My "check engine light" came on in my car".

WTF?????????? We just got the damn car a week ago!

So, needless to say I didn't sleep well all night worrying about this. I thought our car problems were over when we got rid of the Poo Wagon.

Got up this morning and followed him to the car dealership to drop his car off, and told them we needed a loaner car because he has to work today. They directed us across the street to the rental car place, which they would pay for.

Sweet.

Except that it turns out, an 18 year old can't drive a rental car. He has to be 21.

So...right now I'm driving this...a $15,000 Ford Focus:



And my 18 year old is driving this...



My $50,000 Chrysler 300 SRT with Hemi engine and racing technology.

I told him to park the damn thing in the garage and don't move it unless something is on fire. LOL

Geesh.