Setting the record straight

Last night, it came to my attention that one (or possibly more, but I think it's just one) of my readers has a problem with how I have referred...or more specifically...NOT referred to Jordan's Dad and Stepmom in my blog.

Evidently, this particular reader has gotten word to Greg (Jordan's Dad) that my blog is all about me being a single parent, raising Jordan alone, and makes no mention of his father or stepmom (Denise) or their financial contributions (ie: child support), emotional connection to Jordan, etc., and that I appear to act as though they do not even exist.

So I would like to take this opportunity to set the record straight.

Dear Reader:

Yes, Jordan has a father, as you obviously know. For the rest of you who don't, Greg has been his dad for all of his 18 years of life. LOL. He also has a stepmom, Denise, who's been helping raise this kid for the past 12 years. Jordan has a great relationship with them, as do I. There is no drama here...the three of us get along great, we parent our child as a group, and clearly it's worked out well as collectively we have raised one hell of a young man. Greg is a great father to our son, just as I am a great mother to him and Denise is a great "other mother". And Jordan is damn lucky to have a bonus mom such as Denise. She treats him no differently than she does her two children, or Greg's other son from his previous marriage. They are one big happy family, and I will forever be grateful to her for opening her heart to this kid who means the world to me.

I have not discussed them in my blog for the simple reason that I had no idea if they would *want* to be mentioned here, nor do we tend to do things together for me to discuss! There is a picture on the right side of this blog taken on Jordan's birthday last year of me and him, and what you don't see is that on the other side of Jordan sits his other two parents. I did not put the entire picture on here because...again...it was about respecting their privacy. I did not "cut them out of the picture to pretend they do not exist". And Greg and Denise, if you are reading this now and don't mind if I put the entire picture there, please let me know. Actually, I would love to...because for everyone who has never seen father and son together, it will clear up the issue of "Oh, Jordan looks a lot like his mom!" NO, he doesn't. He and his Dad are twins, 30 years apart in age. The only thing Jordan got from me is his big feet. (Yeah, thanks for that. I carried that child for 10 (that's right..10) months and evidently my sole contribution is his size 13 feet. Lovely!)

And yes, Reader, Greg has always paid child support. I have never discussed that here, and why would I? This blog is not about our financial arrangment! But rest assured, he is by no means a deadbeat dad.

For the record, Greg and Denise had Jordan every other weekend when he was growing up, plus holidays and time in the summer when he was out of school. They never missed a baseball game, a wrestling match, or a parent teacher conference. The past couple of years as he's gotten older, he hasn't spent as much time with them but frankly he hasn't spent much time with me either! He's a teenager with a car...has nothing whatsoever to do with whether he loves his parents or not! But he has a great relationship with them, and they are very much part of his life and always will be.

The more I thought about this last night, the more pissed off I got, that somebody would run to Greg or Denise and try to create drama where there is none. Prior to last night, I could not have told you if they read my blog or not. Didn't have a clue if they even knew it existed. I certainly have not hidden it from them, but the truth is that I don't share my life with them....I share a child with them. Anything that has to do with HIS life, we talk about. But I'm pretty sure they have far better things to do than to care whether or not I write a blog about what's going on with me. We are all friends, but we aren't in each other's business. When it comes to our son, we are all on the same page and that is all that matters.

In addition, dear Reader, you have evidently taken issue with the fact that I refer to myself as a single parent. Here's a newsflash for you.

I *am* a single parent.

Let me walk you through it to clear up the confusion. I am not currently married (aka...single) and I have a child (which makes me a parent). From where I stand that makes me...a Single Parent. Specifically I am a Single Mom. Now, maybe in your world, Single Mom means sole support of a child or children with deadbeat dad nowhere in the picture. However, in MY world, single parent means one person in the house raising their kid(s) as opposed to two people doing so. I have raised Jordan in MY house by MYSELF for almost all of his life, except for the time frame when he was about 12 to 15 and I was married (to my ex, who is NOT Jordan's father...keep up here). Me calling myself a single parent has ZERO to do with whether or not Jordan's father is in his life, or contributes financially to raising him...and everything to do with the fact that I am single, and have a child living at home.

I hope this sets the record straight for you, and clears up any misconception that you have, that I have somehow slighted Jordan's other parents here. But please understand something, this blog is about ME. I started this as a way to vent feelings and frustrations about being divorced. As a byproduct of talking about myself, my son gets dragged into it as well, because he's a huge part of my life. But in general I talk about things in MY life, not Jordan's. Therefore, if and when I have something to talk about where Greg & Denise are concerned, I will do so. In fact, come June when Jordan physically graduates with his class and we watch him walk up and get his diploma, I'm sure I will talk about them because it will be something we do together. (And it will probably say something along the lines of "Denise and I bawled like babies and Greg laughed at us". LOL) However, I'm not going to report every time he goes to his Dad's house or talks to him on the phone, in an effort to make sure everyone knows he has a relationship with his father! Everyone who truly knows us...knows he does. And Reader, you clearly know that as well, so do me a favor and stop trying to cause problems where there are none. If you don't like how I write, or what I write about...then stop reading.

And more importantly, if you have an issue with me, or the contents of my blog, take it up with me. Grow a pair, will ya?

Thanks.

And to the rest of my readers, I ask you...have I ever in this blog, given you the impression that Jordan didn't have a father in his life, or that his Dad was a deadbeat? Because that's what triggered this post today, that there is a perception out there to this effect. So to the many of you who read my blog...tell me the truth, do YOU have that perception?