I'd like to set the record straight.
Yes, I am *that* shallow.
Now, that being said, let me just say that "Irving" :::shudder::: would not get kicked to the curb on the sole basis of his birthname. He would have to have a few other things that annoy me as well. But in his case, "Irving" gives him a check mark in the negative column. I can't help it, I have issues.
I broke up with a man who was great to me, great to my then 5 year old child, and who gave me my first G-spot orgasm (I didn't even know such a thing existed!) pretty much because he had a dark spot on his front tooth that bothered me.
Yes, I am *that* shallow.
I am completely turned off by a man's feet, specifically toes...as there is nothing worse to me than those big hard yellowed toenails that I lovingly call "pteradactyl feet". I think that's why I've almost always dated men younger than me. It avoids that issue. If I dated you, and early in the relationship you took your shoes off and have those toenails...we'd be broken up before your shoe hit the floor.
Yes, I am *that* shallow.
I am not going to defend myself on these issues. I like what I like. I can't help it. It's the same reason I don't like skinny men. I like my guys to have some husk to them. Some substance. I don't want to feel like you're going to get blown away by the wind as we walk down the street, or that side by side we look like the number 10.
And I need a hairy chest. Although this would not be a deal breaker for me, but it's certainly my preference. It's a well known fact that my ex's chest was the main thing that attracted him to me in the first place when we met. He had chest hair peeking out from the neck of his golf shirt and I could tell there was a lot there...and it intrigued me enough to continue dating him and eventually sleep with him, just to see it. I wasn't disappointed. I will say to this day that the main thing I miss about him is his chest!
Oh, and arms. I'm a bicep girl. I don't require big, body builder biceps (in fact body builders completely turn me off), but you gotta have some guns, baby. (Again, this falls into why I don't like skinny guys...they usually have equally skinny arms) I can be totally won over with nice arms and a hairy chest.
See, if Irving has those two things, his name won't matter! But I can assure you, if he has flabby arms, and no chest hair...he's history.
Yes, I am *that* shallow.
Oh, don't look at me in that tone of voice! Every one of you reading this has deal breaker issues with men...so tell me what they are!
25 comments:
Well then Jules, my hubby WOULD be all but perfect for you.
Name: Mike, pretty normal
Chest hair: Check, check and check
Guns: Fairly healthy pair and he knows how to use em.
Lemme know when your coming to pick him up so I can have his bags ready. I'm done with him now.
Well I'd have to say my biggest deal breaker with men would be women, I like them a whole lot better... LOL Just for the record I'm not skinny, have a hairy chest, no yellow toe nails and my arms aren't too bad. ;-)
@deb...before I got married every guy I dated was a Mike! My family and friends were all excited that I married someone with a different name. Yeah, see how well that worked for me...so okay, I'll take your Mike!
@vinnie...you've got a year. actually less now. time's ticking. ;)
Yep I hear the clock ticking more loudly every day babe. Trust me when I say I do seriously think about you...
You wouldn't want LW then.
You know I love you but shallow = lonely. Open up...you never know what you might find. I use to be like that.
Men's feet are the worst !!
And if you what to pick and choose who you date,,,,,I say go for it.
#1
There are some names that do just sorta... seem... odd... could you call him Irv?? Or Ving? or... RV?
But maybe just in general he's not floating your boat.
Um... as far as my deal breaker... well general hygyne is a biggy... but beyond that, it's more personality stuff that I have issues with.
Not that you don't already know mine....
1. must be good looking (in my book anyway) - and I mean you must have a good face. The face is the part that I care the most about (as it's the part you stare at every day, and lies next to you on the pillow every night).
2. Eyes. Ok, part of the face, but.... they HAVE to smile, or you're toast.
3. Hair. The longer the better. And (a new concession here, because of my current situation) if you don't have long hair now, you must have at least TRIED it in the past, and have pictures of it :)
4. No big guys. Not big muscle heads, and not the husky jeans type. I'll take all of Julie's skinny rejects.
5. Tall. We're talking at LEAST 6 feet. I'm already short. I don't need another person around who can't reach stuff that's up high.
6. Strong arms. You better be able to hug me tight and make me feel small, and you better be able to wing a hay bale like it weighs an ounce. No exceptions.
7. A tongue that can lift an SUV. Ok, not a REQUIREMENT necessarily, but a HUGE bonus :)
Good God Julie, this was just too funny!!!
Poor Irving has one foot out the door before it evens opens LOL!!!!
Guys who chew with their mouths open!! cant stand that one.
peace
#2
I don't think you're shallow, I think you are HONEST.
I appreciate honest so I'm glad you aren't afraid to tell it how it is. That gives you a check mark in the positive column in my book.
oh, and you made me laugh, so you actually get 2 checks.
Keep it up and I'll replace my husband with your blog. ;-)
Boy after reading some of these it's no wonder I have zero self esteem...
I admit that I’m shallow too because I also had deal breakers.
I learned from the Juicer that aside from that issue, he was way too tall for me.
I’d never been with someone that was 6’4”. We couldn’t even hug comfortably.
I was always hugging close to his belly button.
I love a man’s voice and the way he laughs and smile. If he sounds like a munchikin,
I’d have to see if there are other things that I find more attractive about him.
The way a man dresses can be a deal breaker. I don’t like men that dress like they are teenagers, wearing the sagging pants and all of that. I also don’t like men that live in sweats all the time.
I love a man with muscle tone, especially the arms but not Stretch Armstrong.
A deal breaker would be one who has no manners, interrupts, talks incessantly about himself; boasting.
A deal breaker is being treated like a buddy instead of more…ya know the kind that burp,
Fart, scratch themselves, pick their noses and blow their noses at the table because they are just “being themselves”.
I love a man that smells good. Even if it’s just the scent of his body. As long as he’s clean and brushes his teeth….
Deal breaker…mama’s boy. He’s gotta include his mama in all of his ideas and plans.
I have more but that’s for another day.
By the way, does Irving have a middle name?
I do not blame you-you have "THE RIGHT" to be picky-you deserve it-when I was dating the 1st thing I would look at were his shoes-if they were horrible, I would usually move on-I know that is bad and shoes can be changed but it just turned me off!!!-Thank goodness my hubby had on good shoes and everything else good to go with it!!!
Nah I don't think it's shallow - I couldn't imagine yelling out "Irving!!" (or "Irv!" for that matter) in the heat of the moment! I had a TOTALLY HOT guy msg me on a dating site, and his name was SHELDON! WTH?! No matter how cute he was, I just couldn't do it!!
So maybe I'm shallow, too? ;)
Be picky if you want, girl! :)
The deal-breaker for me? No ambition. No job. No money. Bad kisser. I broke up with a great guy that I dated thruout high school because he couldn't kiss. We dated 3 years and I wouldn't kiss him. I tried to teach him, but he was tongue impaired. So I am just as shallow.
I agree with you...I can't imagine screaming "Harder Irving, harder!" LOL Sounds like I'm calling my grandpa.
If you had asked me before I met my DH if I would choose someone who was skinny/scrawny, I would have said no. I thought I preferred huskier, but I fell in love with DH anyways.. and here we are.
I can't think of any deal breakers I have that would be superficial.. but chalk it up to my inexperience and say you know what you like, eh?
I get you...totally...
eating LOUD...chewing LOUD...{{shudders}}
'or that side by side we look like the number 10.' That made me laugh!!!
Of course there has got to physical attraction. The older I get the specifics get less important though. Because I can find completely different looking people attractive.
As I am tall I like tall guys and like you, guys with some substance.
I like confidence in a man. Not Narcissim though but someone with a healthy self esteem.
I think you have heathy self esteem Julie so there is nothing wrong with saying what you want from a partner.
Its good to do that and not settle. Oh and I couldnt stand a boring guy - I like guys who have loads of interests and plenty to talk about. Quiet guys make me feel I have to overcompensate in some ways. I love creative guys I think best of all - musicians, artists, guys who are good with their hands basically..Great post as usual.
you know my husband.. clearly I have no issues! Shallow, well if I had to think of one word to describe you that would not be at the top of my list.. although maybe now! Good Luck.. keep looking
Cheri
You are no shallow you're just choosing! You are looking for your next great love afterall!
I am VERY picky.
I went on a date a few weeks ago and this guy's voice is sooooo bad I had to let him go.
a grown man with a uni-brow is a deal breaker for me!
Julie, go ahead and be shallow. We like, what we like, right???
...and just for sh*ts and giggles, my must-haves are:
must be tall
must wear glasses
can't be thin
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