And here is his actual profile...or maybe it's the 33 things he's looking for in a woman? I'm not really sure *what* this is!!!! But my comments are in italics...
1.OK HERE WE UNDERWATER CAKE DECORATOR - What does this even mean?
2.A LADY WITH ALL HER OWN PARTS(SUCH AS LEGS AND ARMS) - Are fake boobs ok? Not that I have 'em but in case I ever get 'em.
3.TEETH (ENOUGH SAID ABOUT TEETH) - So I should have them, and they can be real or fake, missing or all there, white yellow or other?
4.HAIR (REAL PLEASE) - What, I can't have extensions?
5.YOUR EYES SHOULD BE THE SAME COLOR - The same color as...my hair? My teeth? Each other?
6.GREEN DRESSES - You want me to dress like a Christmas tree. Check.
7.WOLVES - Sheep. Are we playing "Say the first word that comes to mind"?
8.EAGLES - Football.
9.BEARS - Chicago!
10.RED DRESSES - Make up my mind, red or green?
11.MERMAIDS - So he has a Daryl Hannah obsession?
12.BLUE DRESSES - Dude, this isn't Project Runway.
13.RED HEADS - Finally, something I can get points for.
14.PIRATES - Of the Caribbean. Ummm, Johnny Depp in mascara.
15.SUPERMAN - Somehow with this profile, I doubt you are.
16.BLONDS - First of all, it's "blondes", and second...eh there is no second.
17.MATILDA - You are a freak.
18.YELLING FOR THE HELL OF IT - Which is what typing in all caps means. Dumb Ass.
19.A WAITRESSS - (with three S's...nice.) A waitress somewhere is waiting for a prince like you to ride up in your PT Cruiser and take her away.
20.LADYBUGS - Okay?
21.EYES THAT SMILE - Actually right now my eyes are saying "You're an idiot".
22.PORT JEFFERSON ON A SUMMERS NIGHT - I give up. Where?
23.NO MAN HANDS (YOU KNOW WHO I'M TAKING ABOUT)- I've yet to see a man with hands as well manicured as mine, pal.
24.DAVE MATTHEWS - Boring
25.BROWN DRESSES - Oh for the love of God.
26.NEVER GIVE YOUR LOVE MY FRIEND UNTO A FOOLISH HEART - Too late. Been there, done it. Don't plan on making *that* mistake again.
27.TOE RINGS - I have diamonds everywhere, sweetie. Even on my toes. (which for the record are not man toes either)
28.BOOM CHICKA WAH WAH - Sigh. That used to be my theme song..
29.STARBUCKS WITH THE RIGHT GIRL - I'm thinking Starbucks better be adding vodka to their coffee drinks now.
30.IF YOUR SOME KINDA KUKE,I'VE MAXED MY LIMIT AND NO LONGER ACCEPTING KUKE APPLICTIONS - I'm sorry, what? Kook? As in crazy? Or Kuke as in cucumber?
31.I WORK WITH KIDS - Now, I'm scared.
32.I DON'T MIND A FEW EXTRA POUNDS BUT I'M NOT INTO THE FAT LADY AT THE CIRCUS LOOK - Well, does the bearded lady do anything for you?
33.WISH YOU WOULD STEP BACK FROM THE LEDGE MY FRIEND - Seeing how this profile just put me there...
NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
22 comments:
Is Bachelor #8 in your city? Did he send you a pic? I think that Travel girl was right. I have a crush on you, I've been denying it. Gosh!
I did find the answer to one question.
Port Jefferson is located approximately 56 miles east of New York City, in the northern part of central Suffolk County.
Now you know one place to stay away from.
Cassie
Holy crap. That dude might make you give up internet dating.
Weirdness.
May Bachelor #10 be the one. (Which means you need to skip #9?)
@anonymous...feel free to crush all you want. You may have to fight Travel Girl and Georgie off though.
ummmm Jules I think you just found an alien life form OR Mr Spock
Im really confused about the eye thing....they should be the same color?? I know of one person, whom I just met that has a brown eye and a green eye. First time i have ever witness this.
Apparently, he knows alot of double color eye peeps.
And the dress thing? This guy is a fucking whackjob.
Decorate this cake under the sea pal....and I'll bring my extensions.
peace
#2
This guy is the biggest Kook or as he puts it Kuke!!
How weird and random was that whole thing.
WEIRDO!
Wierd Random Batchler Seeks Desperat Gril.
What was he thinking?
Julie, I'm so sorry, I did not know that Travel Girl and Georgie were interested in you. I think that one of them said that they had already seen the "girls" and that they were awesome. I can't wait to hear about the Bachelor's you have not told us about. Thanks for making me smile.
Wow... I keep thining of starting an online dating service except you have to actually come see me and be verified and interviewed, lol.
LOL, and I thought my trip down the internet dating road was a thrill. At least he isn't spending his Saturdays bird watching with his mom.
I think this guy is full of shit and making a joke of the online dating.
I will fight to the death for you;)
I actually had a dream about you last night(you looked like Susan Sarandon). You had come to Yucaipa, CA. for a wedding and you were staying with my neighbors. We met for a drink but you didn't have much time so we agreed to meet in Vegas.
So. Damn. Werid!
Maybe it's a sign.
Why the one word answers? I am so confused. Whatever his reasoning, they were not even funny. Delete him. NOW!!!!! Maybe you should come to Texas. We have some normal guys here.
Julie you sure have a bunch of doozies lined up. BTW--don't go to Texas I have been there and I didn't see any normal guys (kidding) and trust me there aren't many normal ones here in Chicago either!!
@travel girl...I can pack and be there in 4 short hours! :)
I'm actually supposed to be in Vegas right now with the ex, if you recall. I'd have MUCH more fun with you!!!
Maybe we should have a Blogger Getaway to Sin City? Anyone up for it???
freak.a.zoid.!
I think it's a sign that I had that dream AND you were suppose to be here!
Blogger party in Vegas baby;)
It's no wonder some people decide to stay single all their adult lives. Unreal.
This guy is so bad he has got to be good. Seriously. I ma now living my dating life vicarioulsy through you so
I am counting on your to find the right one. I am not game enough to try internet dating after I got my fingers burnt badly once already.
Where are the normal guys or are the only ones left the dregs of humanity. Go to the laundromat or even the supermarket. I notice a lot of men alone in supermarkets now.
seriously, this one's so f'ing weird, I think I'd have to set up a meeting with a wig and glasses just to see what this whack job looks like...
Julie that sounds great actually but you'll either have to wait until I'm healed from the surgery or carry me around, lol.
Wow! that's all I could muster
Post a Comment