Saturday, November 15, 2008

Nine words women use regularly

And men need to memorize these....


(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . That will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever : Is a woman's way of saying Screw YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

16 comments:

Debz said...

ROFLMAO!! Effing hilarious Jules!!!

I can gaurantee I have used all of them and probably will again this weekend. Gauranteed...

Erin said...

LOL-I say all of these on a daily basis!
You son is a hottie ; )

Megryansmom said...

AMEN! What is so hard for men to understand, it's pretty cut and dry

Helga Marie Bee said...

You make it so simple. I just printed your post, and hung it on the fridge, wonder how long until he asks what it is?

Julie D said...

@Mrs.Cupcake...hahahha...let's hope he memorizes those!!!

Unknown said...

julie... When you are not "selling" real estate, you could be writing an advice column! Move over Abby!


~AirmanMom returning to her blog...

Eric S. said...

This is useful information for those of us from the male gender. Unfortunately I have noticed the use of all those phrases before, sometimes accompanied by the expected sarcasm. But most dangerous when in a calm flat tone, look out then. LOL

travel girl said...

So. Damn. Funny.

And so right on.

I think you should be writing a column in Cosmo.

Lilly said...

Yes I do all of them. I find the long sigh the best to really p*** people off. Mind you I hate hearing others sigh too....very disconcerting...now all we need is a list that guys do.....silence is the most annoying thing to me.

Anonymous said...

You forgot....."Yes Dear"
Which we all know is Fuck You.

peace
#2

Lost Soul said...

It would be easier if we all just said what we meant.... lol

chocolatecovereddaydreams.blogspot.com said...

I'm guilty of all of those. Why can't those men learn not to be sarcastic when they've been given tons of hints??

I'm especially good at answering "nothing" when it really is "something".

That Janie Girl said...

Amen, Sista! You rock.

I agree with the rest - you should be syndicated!

travel girl said...

Where the hell are you?

Don't you know I depend on your blog for entertainment????

Anonymous said...

HA! That was hysterical, and so true!

KJ
www.nanadiaries.com

We are the Ferrari's said...

I passed this along to Gabe! :) Thanks!