(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . That will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever : Is a woman's way of saying Screw YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
16 comments:
ROFLMAO!! Effing hilarious Jules!!!
I can gaurantee I have used all of them and probably will again this weekend. Gauranteed...
LOL-I say all of these on a daily basis!
You son is a hottie ; )
AMEN! What is so hard for men to understand, it's pretty cut and dry
You make it so simple. I just printed your post, and hung it on the fridge, wonder how long until he asks what it is?
@Mrs.Cupcake...hahahha...let's hope he memorizes those!!!
julie... When you are not "selling" real estate, you could be writing an advice column! Move over Abby!
~AirmanMom returning to her blog...
This is useful information for those of us from the male gender. Unfortunately I have noticed the use of all those phrases before, sometimes accompanied by the expected sarcasm. But most dangerous when in a calm flat tone, look out then. LOL
So. Damn. Funny.
And so right on.
I think you should be writing a column in Cosmo.
Yes I do all of them. I find the long sigh the best to really p*** people off. Mind you I hate hearing others sigh too....very disconcerting...now all we need is a list that guys do.....silence is the most annoying thing to me.
You forgot....."Yes Dear"
Which we all know is Fuck You.
peace
#2
It would be easier if we all just said what we meant.... lol
I'm guilty of all of those. Why can't those men learn not to be sarcastic when they've been given tons of hints??
I'm especially good at answering "nothing" when it really is "something".
Amen, Sista! You rock.
I agree with the rest - you should be syndicated!
Where the hell are you?
Don't you know I depend on your blog for entertainment????
HA! That was hysterical, and so true!
KJ
www.nanadiaries.com
I passed this along to Gabe! :) Thanks!
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