Here he is...Bachelor #9 (***UPDATED***)

His name is....Harry*. (*all names are changed to protect the innocent)

His profile reads:

HELLO NOT KNOW HOW TO TYPE FEALLINGS TO A KEYBOARD I AM LOOKING FOR THE LONG LAST LOVE OF MY LIFE THIS IS JUST ONE MORE AVENUE SO BE SAFE GOD BLESS GOOD LUCK
Love God very mutch so if you are not a christian dont believe we will work been their done all the wrongs in life now want mutch more so be safe God bless again
if u y a h oo
harley pop hawg their
IT SURE SEAMS YOU PEPOLE ON HERE ARE RATHER RUDE SOMETIMES I NOT BE THAT WAY EVER HAVE DONE BEEN MORE PLACES AN THINGS MOST EVER THOUGHT OF I STILL NOT STUCK UP OR RUDE SO THINK LOTS SHOULD LOOK AT THEIR SELFS FIRST
OK THANKS FOR READING HOPE YOU GET SOME ONE YOU DO DESERVE

Now, I feel kind of bad for the guy. I won't post his picture here because I got a bit of flack last time for posting the Motel 6 security guard's mugshot photo in my blog, so I will just do my best to describe him.

He is standing next to his mother in this picture, and she appears to be very short and very large, so I'm guessing him to be about 5'7" on a good day.

He weighs about 70 lbs. Soaking wet. With rocks in his pockets.

He has hair down to his shoulders, partially balding on top and attempting a combover, and I'm not sure if his hair is greasy, or just loaded with product, or hasn't been washed since the 80's or what wet, but it's disgustingly gross a tad unattractive.

He has a porn star 70's mustache though. I think this might be where the hair on top of his head landed when it fell off.

And I would venture to say these pearly taupes whites are dentures because this guy clearly can't afford veneers, and whatever these are, are way too big for his mouth.

Now, everybody takes a bad picture once in awhile. But he's just really not my type.

But God love him, he sent me an email.

Helo! Wana talk? (Complete with the little emoticon of two smiley faces kissing)

Oh, sweetie. No. Not without a lot of rope and some choloroform.

I red your profil and Its reallly funny. yOU are a great girl and watta catch for som lucky man.

....who won't be you, Larry. Er...Harry.

I have a grate rellatunshp with God and i bet yu do do. you look like a Good christain women.

Wait..you bet I do do? OK well of course, especially if I eat a lot of fiber. Oh, and what picture gave me away about my good Christianship...the boob shot the other guy liked so well? Or the one of my and my girlfriend celebrating her marriage with shots of Tuaca? And wait...I look like I'm "women"? Dude, I may be the size of both Olsens together, but cut a sister some slack here, will you? How rude.

I have a lot of expreiences to share with a beutiful woman suchas your self.

And those are experiences I fully intend to live without.

Rite me back and meet for coffie or taco bell. my treat pretty lady.

Wow, um...well...geesh. Taco bell huh? Do I have to order off the $1 menu or can I go wild and get a Gordita?

Cant wate to hear from you! Love, Larry

Start the timer, Harry.

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Listen, I am really not a cruel person who is making fun of these poor bachelors. While they aren't my type, I'm sure someone out there is looking for her true love, and this particular guy might be it. I apologize if anybody thinks that I'm a really awful person for doing the Bachelor Series of posts. I'm just trying to show what's out there in the dating world! It *is* depressing to be 47 and single again, and having to go through this, trust me. If you've got a husband/wife at home, or are in a committed relationship....consider yourself lucky. The dating pool sucks.