Something old...nothing new....

I've got nothing newsworthy to report.

Because that's how exciting my life is. It's all glamour. Commence to being jealous. I'll wait....

Don't get me wrong! I'm grateful for "no drama", I have had more than my fair share with you-know-who the past three years. It's nice that things in that particular area are calm. I think one of us is medicated. LOL

But I'd like a little excitement of some sort! Because when I get bored...I usually get in trouble. I do stupid crap like cut my hair all off, or color it some strange shade that is not found in nature, you know...that instant gratification type of things that one does for a cheap thrill.

(Which, if you've ever been to my hairdresser, you know it's not cheap!!!)

Part of my problem is that I have spent 47 years waiting for life to happen. Just kind of sitting back, with a very lazy "come what may" outlook. What I need to do is grab life by the balls and take control of the situation! Get out there and make my own fun! Make my own excitement! Find something to be passionate about, and throw myself into it!

Damn that sounds good, doesn't it?

I wonder at what point I will start taking my own advice? Maya Angelou says "When you know better, you do better". Well, I've known better for years! When does the "do better" start?

Boating at the lake

Went boating at Buckeye Lake on Saturday. The Ex finally got a new truck as I mentioned before, so we had something to haul the boat with for the first time this summer.

I really love the boat. But damn, it makes me hurt! We were out for about 4 hours, and my body felt every second of it the next day, from the boat bouncing off the water and across waves...and me bouncing right along with it! It's not really a good thing for a person with 3 herniated disks to do, but screw it. It's one of the few pleasures I have these days!

Here are a couple of pictures....

This is the view from about halfway back in the boat:



This is the Yacht Club where Elizabeth is getting married in less than 3 weeks!





And this is just a fun house I like, on it's own little island in the lake:




That's it, your tour is over. Thanks for cruising with us and watch your step as you depart!

Could I be any more of a dork??

Who sits around crying over their kids baby pictures on a sunny and beautiful Sunday afternoon???

Hi, I'm Julie, and I'm a loser. LOL

Seriously! I went on a cleaning rampage earlier today (yes, me! I know, I'm shocked too!) and found a box of pictures in my bedroom closet and started looking through them.

Big mistake.

Next thing you know, I'm sitting on the bed, tearing up at Jordan's baby pictures! Jordan at King's Island, Jordan at Christmas, Jordan's first birthday, Jordan's first day of school, Jordan at the Power Rangers show, Jordan in the swimming pool, Jordan _________ (fill in the blank with one of the thousands of things parents take pictures of to cry over later).

I looked at those pictures and I can't believe my baby...that little blonde haired ball of fire...is going to be 18 in 4 months, and is going to graduate from high school a month later.

Where did the time go?

More on the condo....

I just went over to put a For Sale sign in the yard, and a lockbox/key on the door, and went inside to look around. It looks really good, and I'm really happy about that! After my last tenant trashed the place and abandoned it, I went $15,000 in debt in repairs and paying the mortgage myself for a year while I tried to sell it, so I am VERY HAPPY (Thank You!) that I will have little to do other than probably clean the carpets.

As I mentioned yesterday, I do have a showing at 4pm today, so everybody put your collective good thoughts together that I get an offer on it!!!!!

Thank you.

Thank You for just letting my A/C issue be a bad capacitator, and only costing me $185. I really appreciate it.

And thank You for getting me a showing on the condo tomorrow. I really appreciate that as well.

And thank You for letting my renter be interested in Elizabeth's condo. If I can work that deal, it would be a huge help if I have to support a second mortgage for awhile (which, I won't...because I have faith that my showing tomorrow is going to go great and I will sell the condo!)

Now...if You would please not let Jordan's car have that "won't start" issue anymore, at least until he can afford a new one, I'd really, really, really appreciate that.

Thank You.

Really, God?

Really?

I go home last night to find it 86 degrees in my house, and my A/C blowing hot air out of the vents.

Really?

I don't have enough to worry about with my condo and potentially having to pay that mortgage, so You think I should deal with this too?

Really?

Ok. You're the boss. Everyone keeps telling me You have a plan. You know what You are doing. You take care of us all.

Really, God?

I sure hope so.

I need suggestions....

My best bud Elizabeth (see picture at side entitled "The Future Mr & Mrs Baldwin") is getting married September 6th, so we're in the downhill swing of planning things.

We're having a "Stock The Closet" (with lingerie and sex toys!) shower for her in two weeks, which is really just an excuse to get the girls together out at Kathleen's Buckeye Lake house, drink alot, laugh, and ride wave runners!

I need some good ideas for A) a theme for the shower, or B) something good to get her besides the usual crotchless undies and flavored nipple creams.

Any ideas?

Mom's new digs.

As you know, my Mom has been in a nursing home for about three years now, full time. She lived there in assisted living while my Dad was in the Alzheimer's unit, and after he died she came back out and lived with me until my divorce, and then went back.

So the place she was at, Yorkland, sucked. It really did. I would walk in Mom's room and my flip flops would stick to the floor. They wouldn't change her pants (she wears Depends things) for days, and she would smell. (I know that's awful to say, but it's the truth) We'd have to make her change them when we'd go over. The care had steadily gone downhill for several years now, but Mom didn't want to leave because she knew everybody there. Every patient, every employee. I can understand that she had a comfort level there...it was her "home". But recently, her roommate died, and I truly believe my mother watched the "slow response" Maxine got while having a massive heart attack, after my mother had turned the nursing light on to alert the staff. A few weeks later, her new roommate had to go to the bathroom in the evening, and it took 2 1/2 hours...yes, 2 1/2 hours...for someone to respond to the light. I believe that's when my mother realized that she would die in that place and those people would just let her.

We moved her out to Pataskala, which is a five minute drive for both of my other sisters. The new place is wonderful. It's clean, it smells good, the nursing staff all have longevity there, the aides are people who enjoy working with the elderly and are not just there to collect a paycheck. You don't see lazy ass employees standing around passing time talking while people's lights are on. My mom is getting HOT food, HOT coffee, and gets served breakfast in bed whatever time she feels like getting up and eating! They help her to the bathroom, clean her up every single time, and change her pants if they need to be. She eats her meals at a table with three other women, all who have the same sharp mind my Mom does, even though one of the ladies is 95! Mom's starting to participate in activities (she went to Bingo yesterday) and she really seems to be quickly recognizing the vast difference in care that she's getting.

We are three days in, and she only has one complaint. She thinks the sugar is not as sweet here as it was at the other place. LOL

That's my mom!

I'm so thankful she wanted to move. As a child, you feel such a measure of guilt associated with having a parent in this situation. You feel as though you should be able to take care of her. But my sisters and I can't do it. We could...and did...at one point. Mom has lived with all of us at some time during the past 7 years. But she now needs full time care, and we can't provide that when we work all day. So in lieu of being able to do it yourself, you want your parent to be in a place that they are well taken care of.

Finally, I think we've found it.

Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

From Perez Hilton's website...

It's nice to hear that even murders get treated well in jail! In fact, John Lennon's crazy killer has been enjoying conjugal visits with his wife for the past 16years.

Nice. Even murderers get laid more than I do.

I've gotta get a life.

Weekend Report

Well, other than the fiasco of my renter bailing on me, the rest of the weekend was pretty nice.

Saturday afternoon, the Ex picked me up in his new truck and we went to lunch and then to the house of the car salesman who sold him the truck, so that he could look at some wiring the guy needs done. The house was very nice, a little overdone for my design taste (there is such a thing as TOO much faux painting!) but the lady had done some amazing work. This is her copper tile backsplash in the kitchen...except that it's plain boring white tiles that she faux finished to look like copper. The pictures do not do it justice at all.





I forgot to take a picture of the new truck. I'm so glad he bought it. He's a truck kind of guy, you know? Some guys just need a truck, and he's one of them. He's had one since we met, and a few months ago he traded his truck for a Honda, and it just wasn't right!!! Every time he'd pick me up in it, it felt so strange. So Saturday when he pulled up in my driveway in this Crimson metallic truck (which is GORGEOUS, I might add), it felt so normal! LOL...riding in the truck I felt like the world was right again...and things felt the way they should because he was back in a truck. It's weird, I know...because things aren't ever going to be "right" or " normal" with us again. This "friends" thing is as abnormal as it gets. Oh well...at least we have something to pull the boat with again.

Had a family party at my brother-in-law's house on Saturday night to celebrate my niece Maggie's birthday. A lot of wine was consumed. It was nice, I needed it badly. My sister-in-law Phyllis and I have a running joke between us about wine, and I was so pre-occupied in my mind with the condo issue that when she threw it out there in the midst of conversation, it went right over my head and we almost busted ourselves out!!! The rest of the family was like "Huh? What?" and looking at me, who was equally not getting the joke. That almost made it funnier when she had to take me aside and explain what I wasn't getting!!!

Sunday, Ex and I were going to take the boat out but the thingy on the hitch thingy on the trailer thingy that plugs into the outlet thingy on the truck so that the brakes on the trailer work...didn't work. So we ended up going to Costco to get my membership card, went to see "Swingvote" (that's an hour and a half of my life that I'll never get back) and then out to dinner at an Italian place. It was actually a very nice day.

F*ck F*ck F*ck F*ck F*ck F*ck

My renter has informed me he is not buying my condo after all, and will be moving.

This comes as quite a surprise seeing how 3 weeks ago I had to write a letter on his behalf to the mortgage company he was working with to secure the loan, verifying he'd been renting from me for almost a year, etc.

Needless to say, his email this morning fairly surprised me. I was confident before I opened it that it would say he had been approved and closing was days away.

So, I guess it's back to listing the condo, praying it sells fast, and meanwhile preparing to rent it out yet again if necessary, because I don't have an extra $750 a month to cover that mortgage too.

Screw the *'s. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Happy Birthday, Dad and Maggie

My niece Maggie was born on my Dad's birthday 27 years ago. Dad used to get the biggest kick out of the fact that from then on, he had the cutest birthday cakes...My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, Barbie...because he'd share one with Maggie. He loved that his pink, girly birthday cakes would say "Happy Birthday, Maggie and Pappy" (my sister always put Pappy since that was what Maggie called him).

Maggie didn't get her own cakes until four years ago, when my Dad died. I'm pretty sure even now, she misses having two names on her cake.

My dad would have been 85 today. I know he and Linda are in heaven, having a drink and a smoke, and enjoying a beautiful day....

While I can't write on this one, it still says "Happy Birthday, Maggie and Pappy" in my heart.



Love you both....

Fall from grace, at least in my eyes.

I used to like you, John Edwards.

You had the values as a husband and father that I admired, and your unwavering love and support for your wife...as she struggles with a terminal illness...made me respect you even more.

I even felt you had the integrity as a politician that few others seem to possess.

And now, you're nothing to me. Other than a lying, cheating husband.

I do not...and will not...ever understand how a man cheats on his wife. How he risks everything they have together, everything they have built as a couple, their future, their lives as one, how a man can put all of his wife's trust and love on the line...to go stick his dick in another woman.

Don't you know what it does to your wife, to find out that you have given yourself to someone else? That you have shattered the bond that you have together? That you have thrown away the vows you took...you know, the ones that promised to love, honor and cherish til death do you part? Oh, and by the way, you took those vows not once, but twice, when you remarried your wife a few years ago. You should have them memorized by now.

Do you know that your wife now questions everything you have ever told her? That she now wonders how much of her married life has been a lie? That she questions herself and wonders what she did wrong, or what more she could have done, or what is missing in her that made you start a relationship with someone else? Do you know that her self esteem is virtually gone now because of what you've done?

My heart breaks for your wife. She can put on a strong public front about how she loves you even more now, that you made mistakes but that the public should respect how "honest" you've been in coming clean. Honest? You've been lying for a year about your affair. Tell me again how that is honest.

Your wife is dealing with her own mortality. She has children who she is faced with leaving far too soon. She has been married...and faithful...to you for 30 years. And while she is dealing with the idea of losing her life, you find it appropriate to have an affair with a staffer and then say "Ooops, I was feeling very narcisstic. Sorry!"

You disgust me. You do not deserve a woman as gracious as her. She should kick your slimy, rat bastard ass to the curb where it belongs.

Oh, and the bleached blonde whore who you allowed to aide in breaking your wife's heart? Dude, the first rule of cheating is to at the very least, trade up. You, like my husband, evidently didn't get that memo either.

I'm glad you dropped out of the Presidential race. I could not vote for a man who cannot uphold his commitment to one woman, because how on earth could you be trusted to uphold your commitment to an entire nation?

Thus the reason, John "I cheated on my first wife while she was paralyzed with the woman who is now my second wife, and oh I cheated on her with a staffer as well" McCain won't be getting my vote either.

I had little tolerance for infidelity before it happened to me, I have zero tolerance for it now.

So last night I was smoking crack with Johnny Depp

In my dreams, of course.

Yeah, I'm not sure if it was crack or exactly what it was but it created some sort of bong water that he made me drink (??), and it was like being realllllllly stoned (not that I'm familiar with that feeling) (at least not in the last two decades) and/or had the same sort of out-of-body experience of being on Ecstasy (same disclaimer previously mentioned).

The weird thing is that I really felt like I was high, and I remember actually thinking in my dream "Wow, this is cool, I know I'm dreaming and yet I can really feel as though I'm FUBB!!!!" (That's "Fucked Up Beyond Belief" for those of you who don't remember the 80's either) I was laughing and giggling and eventually drank more bong water because I figured...hey, it's a dream...even if I freak out nothing bad is going to really happen!

Then suddenly there was some sort of thing where we were flying to New York ~ everyone knows how I hate to fly ~ and I had the ability to lay down in bed while the plane took off, which made that whole thing really easy! (If they could only do that for me on real flights!) Then I remember they were showing pre-flight commercials about plane crashes, and once we took off we were flying really low over golf courses with crashed planes all over the place. One looked like a plane in Lost where it had jungle plants all over it, one had a plane buried under the snow, one was on the bottom of the ocean (and yes, these were all on the golf course, remember! Must be a very interesting place!).

I swear, I had one glass of wine last night and it was two hours before bed. LOL

I always think it is interesting to interpret dreams, and a lot of the time I can pretty easily figure out where certain things come from in mine. This one, however, I'm a little confused by. I'm not a big Johnny Depp fan, and I don't have any overwhelming desire to get stoned. I've always feared plane crashes, that's a given, but I think that had more to do with the fact that I was "flying" from the drugs!!!!

I should start blogging about my dreams every time I can remember them, it would make some entertaining reading for you guys. I can hear it now "Wow, this girl is a freak". LOL

Happy Friday, everyone!

Not tonight, dear...I have a headache.

Been fighting this headache/neck thing since July 30th. Today, massive headache going on. It's got to be a tension headache....feel like my head is in a vice grip, my neck and shoulder muscles are so tight you could bounce a quarter off of them, the base of my skull hurts to touch. I just want to lay down, close my eyes, and not move.

So I have nothing witty to say today. Back tomorrow....

Oh, by the way, had blog visitors from Ireland and Germany last night. Welcome!

The Best Blog Ever

If you haven't read Matt Logelin's blog, you must add it to your daily read.

matt, liz and madeline

I don't remember how I found him, but I started reading his blog very shortly after his wife died, and I've been watching baby Madeline grow for four months now. I feel so invested in their story that it's like being able to stay in touch with family from afar!!!

He's an amazing man, dealing with a really crappy hand of cards that fate dealt him, but he's doing it with such grace that you can't help but smile or laugh when you read his blog, and see pictures of that precious little girl.

Thanks, Matt. You, Liz and Madeline have touched thousands of lives all over the country, and I feel privileged to share in your story.

Now, if I could just figure out how to do the "line through a word" thing....

69 Blog Posts and a freakish game of Tag

69 times now I've evidently thought people were interested in what I have to say. Haha...

So, sweet little Sarah Dee (who's skinny little ass I will kick later) "tagged" me and now I have to figure how out to do this damn blogging game.

OK so the rules are:

1. Link to the person who tagged you (i.e. me)
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. Write 6 random things about yourself
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them
5. Let each person you have tagged know by leaving a comment on their blog
6. Let the tagger (me) know when your entry is posted

So here goes....

1. I have taken college courses in every decade since the 70's. Yes, I'm that old, and still degreeless.

2. I used to emcee a male revue and also ran my friend's Strip-A-Gram business. There are worse things than looking at naked men and getting paid for it.

3. I was a bartender at a place called the Side Door in Lancaster for several years in the 80's. (I think it was the late 80's....most of that decade is still a blur!)

4. I write, eat, and put makeup on with my left hand. Everything else, I do with my right, such as bat, bowl, hold the hair dryer, use a mixer, cut with scissors, etc.

5. I secretly wish I could sing and have always wanted to take voice lessons. However if you have ever heard me, you know there isn't a voice teacher in the world who could make me sound good.

6. I almost broke my back bowling. True story.


And the victims...er...friends...I choose to tag are:

Kathy (http://me-journeybacktome.blogspot.com/) - long time friend who I've never met!

Andrea (http://kandamorgs.blogspot.com/) - my son's sister and happy newlywed!

Sue (http://sunfishroad.wordpress.com/) - the former best cake lady in the business and my pal.

Danica (http://danicalynn.blogspot.com/) - my dear friend who I am stunned hasn't done this to me yet!

Stephanie (http://www.mrsstephanie.blogspot.com/) - just because I can. LOL

and of course...

Trisha (http://jackson5adventures.blogspot.com/) - who has already done this once but I'm making her do it again as punishment for that pre-baby unnaturally flat stomach. Yeah, I'm still bitter!!!!!!

I think that's it! I'm off to annoy these ladies with comments advising them they've been tagged!!

Why am I glad it's Monday?

Sometimes my weekends feel like they are the same thing over and over. Get up, attempt a little house cleaning, wonder what I'll do to entertain myself all day, wish I had someone to do things with, watch TV, go to bed. Rinse, lather, repeat.

I don't really feel like posting today. Or rather, I don't feel like alienating everyone with my mood today. I'm in a crappy mood. Verrrrrrrry bad. Those of you who know me well can pretty much guess why I'm in a bad mood...or at the very least, who got me into it.

So I'm going to retreat back into my dark little hole, be pissy all by myself until I'm not pissy anymore, and then I'll be back.

Oh, went to see The Dark Knight on Saturday. Wow, Heath Ledger is fantastic. Truly. It makes me sad that he's not here to receive all of the accolades for his amazing work. But boy, he sure went out on top.

Also, had to go back to the chiropractor *again* today. My neck is a hot mess. He adjusted me yet again, did more electrical stimulation, and actually went as far as to take my blood pressure because I'm complaining so much of a headache. It was 130/87, which is high for me (I'm the girl who was 97/53 when I was 9 months pregnant! But I've been running a normal 120/80 the past few years) but he feels even that is elevated due to pain and stress. The adjustment might have worked a little, I feel less headachy (it feels like a tension headache!) but it's still not going completely.

I'm just a grump, seriously. I think I need laid. LOL

CF Husband Goes Bald!

One of my favorite, daily reading blogs is called CF Husband. I've blogged about it before so all of my readers are aware of Nate, Tricia and Gwyneth's story.

Nate is participating in a fundraiser for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, and if he raises his goal amount, he will be shaving his head bald on live Internet. If you've seen Nate's hair...there is a lot of it. It may take a few razors!

Please check out his blog, and donate to this worthy cause. Thanks!

I don't know why I am unable to post links in my blog, but I can't. But the link to CF Husband is on the right side under the blogs that I always read...

So I looked up Cougar in the urban dictionary....

And there were quite a few entries!

A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities)waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. "Man is cougar's number one prey"

Nah. Not so much.

An attractive woman in her 30's or 40's who is on the hunt once again. She may be found in the usual hunting grounds: nightclubs, bars, beaches, etc. She will not play the usual B.S. games that women in their early twenties participate in. End state, she will be going for the kill, just like you. Associated with milfs.

Hmmmm...not me either.

Party girl/s who are now angry they are not married and prey on younger men; common traits include leathery skin from frequent tanning sessions, smoking, anti-depressant use, and a large collection of "massagers."

Um, definitely not.


Hot and sexy older woman, usually in her 40s or 50s, single or married, who is sick of her same-age counterparts which are usually hairless, have big guts, who only talk about their insurance premiums and have the TV remote control attached to their hands. Cougars are attractive, in their sexual prime, who know what they want and aren't afraid to go after it. BIG misconception is that they dress cheap, wear hot pink nail polish, animal skin prints and are not-so-attractive old-looking hags with bleached hair (Yeah those women exist, but they are NOT cougars). True cougars are classy, beautiful creatures who have made their successes on their own, have real brains, usually with expensive cars/homes, and are real head turners. Cougars seek younger men, and don't have to sneak up and attack...they know their younger mates are eager to get an experienced woman who won't ask if they'll call them the next day. Being a cougar is a positive thing.

Getting closer....

A distinguished species of older females who seek the company of younger males whilst avoiding the entanglements of a relationship, in favor of a lack of restrictions. The cougar woman has overcome society’s proscribed behavior for women’s sexual behavior. Thus, she embraces her true self and lives her life to the fullest. She know what she wants and isn’t afraid to hunt for it! There are several species of cougars, but an insatiable sexual appetite and a lack of interest in marriage and other conventional romantic institutions are common to all.

Closer....

Cougar refers to an older woman, in their 40's and early 50's who's youthful looks are beginning to fade or are almost faded. Cougars tend to be sexually interested in younger men in their 20's or mid 30's since their libidos are more evenly matched. Cougars, being older and wiser are often financially stable and pursue men more for their boyish charm and stamina and less for their income level, career or ego. Cougars love the attention and passionate thrill of an uncomplicated sexually intense relationship that younger men tend to offer.

Well, IF I were a cougar, these last two definitions have some details that might be accurate. But I'm not one, so there.

Rawrrrrrrrrrrrl.