Texts From Last Night

OK, this website is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. It makes me laugh out loud every single day.

Texts From Last Night

Fair warning, if you have delicate eyes there may be some offensive words here. But basically these are just texts that people have sent other people, and I can't stop reading it!!! I swear some are damn close to actual conversations I've had with my friends....many years ago of course.

My current faves are (NOTE: The numbers in front are the area codes the texts come from):

(831): Hey, what are you up to?
(802): Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
(802): Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.

(561): You drink too much
(1-561): No, I drink just the right amount - too often.

(316): I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
(785): He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.

(301): Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
(443): We using my standards or yours?

(402): I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.

(513): Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives

(813): My mind said no, but my drink said yes.

(507): I want your puppy
(507): I meant pussy
(612): I would rather you take my puppy

(818): Jake died.
(310): WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
(818): Oops typo. Jake cried.

(847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
(1-847): How was it?
(847): Fantastic, but that's not the point.

(330): Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood

(217): What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.

(978): Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.

(202): therell be strippers and coke right?
(703): no strippers. just coke.
(202): i hate this fuckin recession

(317): Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.

(917): omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
(310): Whats your twitter name

(203): I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.

(610): The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.

And what could be my all time favorite....

(212): dude, i just got a bummer
(418): whats a bummer
(212): a blowjob from a homeless chick

Don't say you weren't warned... Oh, and don't sit there all innocent acting, you know twenty minutes from now you're going to be reading every page of TFLN and laughing out loud, while trying to pretend you'd never enjoy something so horribly dysfunctional!

So when you do, come back and tell me what your favorite one is!