First of all, thank you Julie for allowing me to guest-post! You goddess, you!
Now, on to my case:
The other day I was reading this blog. Yes THIS one right here and Julie had posted several funny text message exchanges. It got me thinking about some of the ones that I have received and I remembered this one:
If you’ve ever been too stoned to make Kool-Aid, you might be a pothead.
So, my cohort was smart enough to think up a pseudo Jeff Foxworthy joke and text it, but she couldn’t make Kool-Aid. It’s Kool-Aid. 2 quarts of water, 1 cup of sugar, 1 packet of your favorite flavor and mix it up. It’s not really difficult, probably the mixing that scared her.
But that’s the whole basis for my case: If you can’t make Kool-aid, you can’t do a lot of things you shouldn’t be doing. Like making bombs and flying planes into buildings and crap like that. You will probably stay home and mind your own business unless you don’t have enough snacks and if you do have to make a run to the store, you’re only going to drive like 17 miles per hour. When you get to the store, if they’re out of your favorite snack, you’re not going to punch a clerk over it. Hell, you might give him a hug for suggesting an alternative snack.
I recall another conversation with the same chic. She was at my house and we were watching movies. She was baked, as per usual and asked if I was hungry.
Me: Sure, you want some Chinese?
Bake-o: OHHHHH, MANNNNNN, Chinese sounds GOOOOOD.
Me: Are you going to get the phone?
Bake-o: (long pause and then in a conspiratorial tone)…. I didn’t even hear it ring….
Me: NO! TO CALL THE CHINESE RESTAURANT!
Okay, so you’re not going to be Einstein on the stuff.
While we’re at it, though, let’s look at this on a much bigger scale:
What if we replaced nuclear warheads with pot-bombs? Seriously. Another country gets out of control and starts to terrorize their neighbors; we drop the Weed-Wedgie 2000 on them and BAM, crisis averted! They are too busy munching snacks and hugging one another to remember what it was they were pissed about in the first place.
And I know everyone talks about Obama being all slick and good-lookin’ where presidents are involved, but picture Diane Sawyer with this to say:
In a moment, our new president-elect, Matthew McConaughey will be giving his first state of the union address…
Now, how you gonna argue with THAT!?
Thanks, GG!!!! I owe you one!
11 comments:
The weed wedgie.. I love that.. it is true that stoned people talk very slow and very loud..i've heard, Isn't that right Ms Reeg! Thanks for guest blogging this was very insightful..if you run for congress I'm a sure vote!
Cheri
Love the weed wedgie....So why aren't you in office, lol????
I like the way you think. :)
I appreciate the vote anon. Just tell them at the poles that you want to vote a straight toke ticket!
That was fantastic!
McConaughey for Pres? If he takes off his shirt when he signs all those bills, he definitely gets my vote!
I love the way you think!! Maybe you should suggest that to the powers that be.
Dude! Thanks for the Pepsi snorted out my nose! "I didn't even hear it ring." Something I'd totally say in that situation! LOL
McConaughey for President. Never. But I would vote for Daniel Craig! Very cute post. Thanks!
Thanks to everyone for the comments and thanks to Julie for having me over here!
I love the weed wedgie 2000 idea. That is wonderful. Sometimes I wonder if many of our leaders are not taking a toke now and then...with some of the ideas they come up with....the gov. in Alabama....in proration....cutting 3 million dollars from my school system alone....voted themselves a 64% pay raise....whatever they are smoking...I think I want some of it. I might understand how I am supposed to teach 40 kids in a room designed to hold 30 max...with 25 books. I know...we can do a lot of hugging and snacking! Great post!
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