The Ass Bra
Seriously? There is actually a company making this??
According to their website, the purpose is:
A creative solution for those who want the illusion of slim and trim thighs, a tummy-tuck and a butt-lift without the use of padding.
Now, a few things come to mind right off the bat when looking at this...
First of all, if your ass looks this good, you don't need a bra for it. If my ass looked like this, I would not be covering it up. I'd be bare assed naked running down the frozen food aisle of Giant Eagle. Hell, mine didn't look like that back in the days when it looked good!
Second, if your ass looks anything like mine (and I hope for your sake, it doesn't), then the effect is basically going to be equivalent of seeing a huge amount of oatmeal cookie dough squeezed through a couple of straws.
Third, there is no amount of "high compression latex" that is going to smooth the tummies and thighs of us big girls in a way that doesn't look like we're enclosed in sausage casing.
Honestly...imagine how pretty this is going to look on. When you were a kid and played with water balloons, did you ever squeeze one in the middle and then you had two separate balloons of jiggly water? That's what I see going on when you wear this (except the balloons are lumpy and pasty white).
And the big old circles left on your ass cheeks when you take it off? Bulls Eyes. Lovely. Like I need to draw attention to that area of my body.
No thanks, I think I'll stick with what I have. It may not be pretty, but at least it's not getting into the room 5 minutes after the rest of me.
17 comments:
This is so wrong. And your reasons for not wearing it are all SO RIGHT! I wouldn't be caught dead in that thing - it would only make "things" worse.
I want one of these.....I want to wear it with my Mardi Gras inspired bra that I long for from a couple of posts ago!!
Enjoy your day off and here's hoping that it's filled with love, joy and laughter :)
Steady On
Reggie Girl
I never could understand why the use models for things such as that which are used to make you look skinny when the bitch in the picture is already skinny! Give us a real life model wearing that bitch so we can see real results.
*snort* I hate that!
If I could take a handleful off each butt cheek and stuff it in my bra - I would be happy. I've been told by some of my African American friends that *and I quote* "Gerl, you gots the butt of a black women!!"
Some people need help looking and feeling good in their clothes. There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel better about yourself. And after 40, there's nothing that can be done in the gym to pick up a droopy butt...trust me on that one. I have a butt-bra that's kind of like this, with the butt cut-outs. It's better than a padded bra, padded panties etc. because it's really my body...not padding. It's just making the butt look perkier and lifted...what's the big deal, really?
For Reggie Girl...just want to let you know that if you want one, you can get it at www.lovemybubbles.com. Thanks!
Ouch! I think I'll pass. The visual of my butt cheeks coming out of that doesn't appeal to me even for one minute. But, for those that dare...
Um, I could be wrong, but it looks to me like the butt cheeks are not being squeezed out the cut-outs, those are faux cheeks that are part of the squeezy garment.
Were they cut-outs and I had an ass like that, there would be no need for the squeezy garment. And I would be flaunting those cheeks all over America!!
(sigh) Alas, I have buns of orange peel.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that wouldn't work...on most people...unless they're a Size minus-3.
You are so damn funny. I'm glad I can count on you for a chuckle. :) I can imagine you in Giant Eagle right now.
Shit! I wanted one until I heard what you all had to say about it! This is exactly what I need. I don't have an ass. I want to create one without the pain of surgery. Go find me one of these Julie and send it my way!
Hi Sandi, Sarah here from Bubbles Bodywear...don't be discouraged... This bum-bra is one of our best sellers! It's a high compression latex body shaper so it's actually for people XS-XXL who what to slim and/or smooth the body without flattening their butt cheeks. Very popular with brides-to-be as well. Thanks!
Ok, for one thing how would I manage stuffing my butt checks into it myself? This is not something I can see asking Trucker to help me with! Although I'm sure we would laugh our asses completely off thus I wouldn't have anything to stuff. Seriously think about all the effort required to get those butt checks in there. LOL. And if it does work like a bra, then I would still have some butt checks hanging out and over.
I know its kind of sad really. I just cannot imagine why in hell you would wear it. But I have seen them in the shops so some poor fools are buying them clearly. I do not need an ass enhancer maybe thats why I am not favoring them.
Can you imagine if you were on a date and things got hot and heavy?
Then you take your pants off. What a downer if ya know what I mean;)
Wait just one damn minute. You're taking Sunday off and I've got pneumonia yet I managed to do TWO posts today? Who do you think you are? One of the chosen few?
As for that panti with the two portholes, Joe and I actually SAW a real life young woman wearing jeans just like that! (Joe saw her first and didn't say anything) hmmmmm
I nearly dropped my pearl earrings! I had no idea mother nature could be THAT user friendly!
MY ass in those? Where would all the cellulite go??
OMG. Mine would be a giant sphere of 6 inch deep dimples.
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