I've never been to: Spain. But I kinda like the music...
I hate it when: I look in the mirror, expecting to see a 30'ish year old hot mama, and instead there's some old'ish woman looking back at me! Honestly, it shocks me every single time! I'm going to be 48 this month...fast approaching the big FIVE OH, and my face looks every second of it. But my mind is still somewhere in my 30's! I need the two to make peace with each other!
The one person who can drive me nuts is: My ex. Just knowing he's breathing can make me insane. LOL Never in my life has anyone known every possible button to push like he does. And he does it regularly. Even when we don't speak.
When I'm nervous: I can't sit still. I pace. I shake my right leg. I bite at my fake nails. And my bottom lip. And I breathe really hard. (Ironically I do most of these same things during sex.) (I think.) (I can't really remember that far back.)
The last song I listened to was: "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves". Random, I know. I was scanning Sirius stations on the way into work and it was on the 70's one.
If I were to get married today my maid of honor/best man would be: Nobody. I'd be at the drive thru wedding chapel in Vegas. OK maybe Linda Lou and Darlene would be
My hair is: As big as I can get it. I haven't outgrown the 80's mall look yet. (Tiff, can I borrow your Minnie Mouse headband? It can only add to my beauty...)
When I was 5: My older sister told me that I was adopted and made me cry. Then she said "Oh for God's sake, if you were adopted we'd have sent you back by now!" And that made me cry harder. Bitch.
Last Christmas: I made my son really happy with a Macbook.
I should be: Making millions as I type. But I'm not. Blogging doesn't pay well. Yet.
When I look down: I wonder where my feet are.
The happiest recent event was: Listening to my son and his girlfriend cracking each other up. You know how when your kids are little and they just giggle so hard it makes YOU laugh? That's what they do together, and hearing my "baby" so happy makes me happy too.
My current annoyance is: Lack of real estate clients. How am I supposed to pay off my bills and travel if nobody is buying/selling houses? Come on, people. I need a stimulus package of my own!
I have a hard time understanding: Euchre. I just can't grasp it. Seriously, I am not *that* stupid but that game confused the bejeezus out of me.
There's this girl that I know: Who has the same bad luck/taste in men that I do, and we're both really great women so I'm not sure why don't think better of ourselves. She's dating someone right now and I really hope it works out for her. Yes Goldilicks...this means you.
The thing I want to buy is: A new face. I never thought I'd be bothered by lines and wrinkles but I'm telling you, this past year my face has driven me nuts. As one of my friends said...it's matured tremendously! LOL I'm saving for some work, I'm just telling you now. I have become *that* vain.
If you visited the place I'm from: And the police were called, they'd be dispatched to you by my BFF Cheri.
Most recent thing I've bought myself: A new bottle of my favorite perfume, Ann Taylor Possibilities. Oh, and some Grape Vodka and Blue Curacao to make Fun Dip.
Most recent thing someone else bought me was: Lunch today. Sushi, via my good friend Megan...who I just turned on to my blog and she's probably reading this. :::waves::: Hi Gorgeous!
My middle name is: Denise. If I were a boy it would have been Denephew.
Last night I was: Watching that idiot Jason dump poor Melissa on national TV, and then start sucking face five minutes later with Molly, who he rejected the first time around. Frankly, I believe Jillian dodged quite a bullet!
If I was an animal I'd be: A black bear. Let's face it, I like fur, I look good in black, and I have no problems whatsoever laying around all winter long.
Tomorrow I am: Probably going to do what I did today. Oh wait, I have a dinner date tomorrow night! (With a girl. Chillax.)
Tonight I am: Going to try and figure out what kind of blog I can entertain you with tomorrow!!!
Finish the sentence...I dare you.
21 comments:
Oh boy, Bachelor 2 doesn't know what he's in for, lucky guy. Hmmm. I wonder if he will be following your blog? Poor guy! Sort of like auditioning for American Idol in front of all your friends and follwers!
Funny post Julie. Snap..on the mirror. I'm 43 but for years I've though that just a lift by the eyes would take me back to my 20's again! Snap on the ex as well!
julie... fun post! fear not, I am over 51 and it only hurts a little! Honestly, I am still 29 on the inside.
Make it a good day!
~AM
I love that song "Never Been to Spain" and whoever don't like a little Cher singing "Gyspies, Tramps and Thieves" is a little off in the cabeza.
Fantastic, fun post.....as always :)
Steady On
Reggie Girl
Entertaining meme.
You always keep me rolling.
Mr. Wonderful is out there my friend. If I can find him...so shall you.
And why wasn't I invited to Vegas? Boo, hiss...pout! I am actually going...most likely by myself to Vegas in a month or two.
Ok I totally get the Black Bear thing and if you were in town.. I would never send the cops cause I'd prob be doing whatever you are doing with you...fun dip with vodka?? that sounds interesting. Bachelor.. JERK...and like you tomorrow I will be doing the same thing I'm doing today! And we won't even go there on the ex thing!
Cher
When are you going to Vegas?
OK......what is this fun dip?
Sounds yummy.........
but then again I LUVS THE VODKA!!
I may actually do this one. It was entertaining. ;-)
Of course you can borrow my headband. Unless you have a giant fatass head like I do, then you might want to rethink it. I mean you don't want holes drilled into your head from the pressure.
You are so damn witty Julie. Loved this post. I think I might just steal it from you.
When you head to Vegas, let me know. I might be up for a road trip!
Fun dip??? Sounds great to me!
I may use this too...may I?????
Loved them all...related to a good many...wanted to salute you for the ex husband one...I know that one well. I love to read you....so keep it coming. Makes my day!
I will be right by your side at the chapel baby! Hell, we get drunk enough, we will marry each other;)
I want to come to Ohio so you can make me fun dip!!!
Love the middle name. Didn't know it was a joke at first. What can I say? I am a blonde.
GRAPE VODKA IS THE BOMB.
That is all.
Anastasia Beaverhausen? Seriously?
That's one of the better memes I've seen and your answers were da bomb!
Stella Veerjen
Awwwww....thanks Regis Denephew :)
this was so funny I wanted to do it on my blog.....but i couldn't think of anything funny to say...sigh..maybe I will try again next week when i get some damn sleep!!
Oh Julie, you are gorgeous seriously. Go to the mall and take a look around and you will see women in their 30s who dont look as great as you. The ONLY thing I would ever do cosmetic wise is injectables. Vegas sounds amazing!!!
One day (and maybe this year in fact when I have saved up) I will try but thats it. Just to soften the lines. I am scared if they cut me I would be the unlucky one where it all went wrong and I'd look like Goldie Hawne - totally weird looking. The stress of your ex has caused you to be like this. Just make yourself smile as faces look entirely different when they are smiling! As for the ex well if I had a gun my ex would be out cold. Yes I have issues clearly which I fear I will carry with me the rest of my life and if the police ever find this comment and something happens to him then its not going to look good for me!! Now I've got to go read about 'the Man' in the next post - I always miss too much!!!
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