Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Did you know there are seven kinds of sex?

Results of recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. *This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. *This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. *This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine ,and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex *This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say 'screw you.'

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. *Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. *This is when you cannot stand your spouse any more because (s)he takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And; Last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex *You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.


PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO TELL ME WHAT STAGE YOU ARE IN. I have enough problems of my own.



20 comments:

Unknown said...

Good morning, Julie...
What a great post for *HumpDay*.
Make it a good day!
~AM

Eric said...

Dugg.

Malicious Intent said...

Awe, you are no fun! Besides you missed one.

On pool table sex. Need to add that after Kitchen Sex.

I ain't saying I did anything, just noting you missed on. I mean who would really have sex on their...ah a pool table?

Kim said...

What? I can't tell you what phase I'm in? Man, I am out of here. I'll be back tomorrow.

WonderMom said...

You left out solo sex (and exercise bike sex!) No need to tell you where I am!

Suburbia Steph said...

Ha ha!!! I love #4!!!

Anonymous said...

LOL

Treasia Stepp said...

Well darn it Jules just take my fun away.

What a cute hump day post.

travel girl said...

I heard this one before but still cute:)

travel girl said...

How is the brew??

Anonymous said...

Too funny!

Stephanie said...

Ha HA
Ok, so this actually made me laugh out loud! Too funny. I think Halway sex can come and go. LOL

Fragrant Liar said...

I have had all of those (except the last one, so far) at least three times. I like Smurf sex best.

chocolatecovereddaydreams.blogspot.com said...

How about airplane sex...where both of your thoughts are a million miles away.

Anonymous said...

Don't you just hate commentors who say LOL or HA and call it a comment?

MY comment???? Uh.....there's the energizer bunny sex.....the one with batteries.....

Then there's the request for sex with someone that has pneumonia, which is called "You're joking" sex.

Debz said...

I'm starting to feel like I may have found religion - hint, hint.

Malicious Intent said...

chocolate c.dreams has a good point, what about the mile high club?

Keeper Of All Things said...

Damn thats funny!!!!!!

Sarah Lulu said...

I didn't know ...but I can't wait to try number one again ....

Mary@Holy Mackerel said...

I love that! And so true too!