This question was posed to me last night, and so now I am going to ask you the same thing.
If you had to choose the single biggest mistake you've made so far in life, what would it be?
My knee jerk reaction was...you guessed it...my marriage.
But honestly, that's not it.
My marriage had it's good moments. Granted, they mostly occurred within the first 24 hours after exchanging vows...but regardless, it wasn't all bad! And the truth is I probably wouldn't take it back even if I could. I'm glad I married him. It was, if nothing, a learning experience. So it's not my biggest mistake.
My biggest mistake was in not putting a cap in his ass in the end.
Oh wait, did I just say that out loud? My bad. I kid! I kid! I would have never done that.
(I'd have left it up to the other woman's husband! LOL)
Anyway...where was I?
When giving myself more time to think about this, I guess I'd have to say that my biggest mistake is probably not really pursuing what I wanted to do with my life, which was be a makeup artist in Hollywood. Yes, that was my dream. But I didn't have the balls to leave Ohio and head out west to pursue them. My parents made me enroll in college here, I partied for 2 quarters and flunked out. Went to work full time at 19 and here I am today...making a decent living doing something that bores the crap out of me. I never wanted to be in accounting. For heaven's sake, I don't balance my own checkbook and never have! I just got pushed into this from one job to the next, and suddenly I was making a living at it.
So that's my biggest mistake...not at least *trying* to do what I know would have made me happier in life, all those years ago.
And no, I don't want to be a Mary Kay lady now to make up for it. It's not the same thing. (Not meaning to offend any of you MKL's out there so don't start a comment war on me!)
So tell me, what's your biggest mistake?
27 comments:
Lol, one who has never considered murder has never been divorced!!
On a more serious note, the biggest mistake that I ever made was not pursuing my graduate degree when I had a full grant to do so. I was much younger (God....I almost hate to remind myself of that) had young children and just didn't feel as though I could "fit it in" to my life right then. What a dumbass decision.
Steady On
Reggie Girl
My biggest mistake...I think two and when I was young. I won't say my first marriage (even though it was a nightmare...but it produced my two boys and I could never regret that!)
When I was 17 I started modeling. I could have gone to New York and made some decent money, enough to pay for college at least. I don't like big cities and New York was not exactly my dream destination. Which leads to regret #2...
If I had gone to New York, for even a year to make some money....I could have afforded the school of my choice because I wanted to be a biologist/scientist. Yup, I had brains too. But at that point the only college I could afford was what my parents would pay for if I lived at home and went to the local community college. My father was abusive and I knew I couldn't take living there anymore, so I moved out and got married at 19.
So it was sorta one regret that snow balled into a few other regrets. But now I do something I like to do very much and life is good, but it took a long time to get there.
Hmmmmm.....well I think I still have a lot more mistakes to make I as am still pretty young but so far I would say not finding a job that I was really super passionate about. I finished college and got a degree in something that I loved as a hobby but not necessarily a career. I wish I had gone to school for teaching. I was discouraged at the time because teachers don't get paid well. Now I realize that's not the most important thing. I'm happy with what I do now, but it will always be in the back of my mind...
My biggest mistake is not pursuing a degree in forensic science. I'm so smart, but I don't push myself enough, so I copped out...got married and divorced twice, went to school part time for a boring degree (business) and graduated after 15 years, still not feeling fulfilled education wise. I love to read and learn.
A couple of weeks ago I was just thinking I should quit work and go back to school for something I love. BUT...I make great money now, so why change up?
Signing on the dotted line. For the radiation therapy for my then three year old daughter's brain.
It ultimately KILLLED her.
I win the "fucked up biggest" award today, don't I???
Yes, I know self pity is not attractive. Nonetheless...I want to give the award back!! I want to go back in time.
My biggest mistake? Getting married as young as I did. Now, I love Mike and wouldn't trade him for anything - most days - but looking back, I wish I had waited, played the field a little more, lived that teenage and 20something year old girls life before settling down.
Again, I'm not saying I wouldn't marry him, just not as young as I did.
Oh, Julie, you are making think this morning.
Mmmm, waiting until 32 to finish my teaching certification is in my top ten, but maybe that gave a job I wanted. Maybe I wouldn't appreciate it if I hadn't worked elsewhere for 10 years.
Yeah, now I know: choosing the wrong man to marry. I bachelor #1, #2, and #3, and I picked the one that looked good on paper, but I didn't follow my heart, and it made both our lives misrable. I know I am blessed with my children, and yes, this life was the one I was meant to have; however, I missed my chance I think at true love.
Hands down - my affair.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm happy with how things ended up and I'm glad to be with my current husband and to have a beautiful daughter together and all that stuff.
I just wish I had done things differently.
I wish I ended my marriage FIRST, then pursued things with my current husband. I hurt soooo many people (including myself) when I had my affair and I will always regret that part of it.
My biggest mistake was not marrying my second husband, but co-mingling my funds with him. I went into that marriage thinking it would be forever, and came into it in the best financial shape of my life--I even had a facelift fund! After the divorce, I was in the worst financial shape ever. Had I known that marriage would have lasted only a few years, BELIEVE ME, I would have made some very different decisions.
I wish I had had children when I was a little younger.
I wish I had been more serious about my college studies and gone on to med school.
My biggest mistake...man I've had so many. Happy to have made most of them as I have learned a great deal.
But, my biggest mistake was going to graduate school at a crucial time in my son's life. He was only 5, starting kindergarden and his parents were in the middle of a divorce. He suffered for it and it still saddens me to this day.
I want to be a makeup artist too!! Except I suck at it and only wear damn mascara everyday. But I want to be like a special effects makeup person. Where I can do bloody horror movies and shit. Surprising huh?
And my biggest mistake? Not finishing college. I dropped out and got married at 19. And now I'm stuck in accounting hell too.
That's a very very difficult question...
There are so many, it's hard to choose really.
Let me think about this one.
The first time I was unfaithful. That's may biggest regret.
Hi, I just found you through WonderMom's blog. Loved this post, and I completley agree with the first comment here too.
My biggest regret was becoming friends with a woman who turned out to be a sociopath and broke up my marriage and is now married to my ex and stepmother to my kids. Her mission in life is to destroy mine - or take it for herself. Many say I could have gotten away with a crime of passion when I discoverd her and my husband together. Hmmm. Too late for that now I guess since it's been seven years.
I shared mine on my blog today
I called them mistakes when they happened, but they always turned out to be what I had to do to become a grander human being. Now, the regrets that evolved from those mistakes are a different story. Those have always involved hurting someone else's heart. Those I am not fond of.
So many mistakes, so little time...
I'd have to say it was getting my first credit card. I never learned to manage money well and someone who doesn't do that has no business with credit. It paved the way for so many money mistakes that will follow me forever, it seems.
God even with all the mistakes I've made in life I honestly can't think of that many do-overs.
I guess my biggest mistake was when the kids father and I divorced my son was 12 at the time. I knew a judge would take into consideration where he wanted to live. he chose his father. I let him go, thinking after maybe one year he would come home to me again. He didn't. My mistake is not fighting for him to stay with me.
My biggest mistake: Not becoming an ATF agent. Because I've always wanted to shoot someone while drunk and smoking a cigarette. bodda ba boom
But seriously folks: it was STAYING married for 30 years to a man SO involved in pornography that he didn't need to touch me for the last 12 years of our marriage. Once I got some courage, I faltered and allowed him to stay in our home until he found a "suitable" place.
Going back in time, I'd have the sheriff escort him to the sidewalk while I locked the door and burned his fortune in magazines.
Buying a Mustang.
I was seduced by a car.
There is NOTHING more pitiful than a *cough* mature short little woman driving a muscle car....unless it's a mid-life- crisis (o.l.d.) man in a Camaro.
You asked, so ... I'd have to say that I regret all the decisions I made out of fear, or all the decisions I avoided out of fear. Once you reach a certain age and realize that you're going to die some day, you stop making those choices. Don't get me wrong, i still make a few bad ones now and then, but fear doesn't rule my choices anymore.
Accounting is totally that way. I mean, you start it and it turns into a career and you make good money, and then you can't get out. I know. And I actually wanted to be an accountant when I was in high school and college. But now I want to be Top Chef, and I cannot for the life of me figure out how to pay a mortgage and be Top Chef. So, accounting it is.
You are assuming there was just one. For our purposes today, I guess I'd have to say not getting my degree in something I really enjoy, and that's psychology and linguistics. However, I'm thinking about it now, and that has to make me wonder if things have, once again, turned out exactly like they were supposed to. Ya think?
Teaching my ex how to speak Spanish. He had an affair with a non-English speaking girl and he's now fluent.
I personally like the thought of you and the busting the cap...that has run across my head a few times!!
I don't believe in mistakes really ...only opportunities for growth ..
But if I had my time over? I would have left my marriage sooner. Found a way to feel I was worth more.
Mine was believing my ex's bullshit and making excuses for him without a doubt.
As for the makeup thing, what are you doing about it now? I did a course when I was 30 and used to drag my poor daughter with me every weekend to a city four hours away. Then I went to LA for a while. Best thing I ever did. I still wouldnt do it on a full time basis though but so glad I did it. It is the kind of skill you can be using when you are 100. So dont tell me you are too old to do it now. Go take a course. It cant hurt. If its a passion you dont want to be on your deathbed not having tried. Besides, it doesnt have to be Hollywood. You can do theatre, work with hairdressers for photo shoots, do fashion shows, TV work. There is so much opportunity. Then if all else fails the wedding market is lucrative. I dont see this as a mistake just something you havent got round to trying yet. Any courses near you?
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