I'm good with the one liners, and in other news....

First, these made me laugh. So I'm making you laugh too.

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine

Money can't buy you happiness .. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller

In other news....

I'm on Day 21 of no smoking. Cravings are for the most part totally gone. The habit is almost broken, although I sometimes forget I'm not smoking anymore and have actually put my coat on to go outside for one!

Don't forget Penny's Blog. If I'm going to get healthy this year, so are the rest of you, dammit. I can't live to be 100 without you guys, who the hell will laugh at my dating misfortune?