Spiked watermelon? And other tidbits....

Hopefully this picture shows up. If you can't read it, then click on it and it should open in a bigger window.



You're welcome.

In other news....

Why is it that I've lost 17.5 lbs and hardly anybody has noticed? Am I really *that* fat that you can't tell almost twenty pounds of me is gone????? I would say I'm down a dress size now, because the clothes I was wearing were a good size too small (I refused to buy any size starting with a 2! They all better have a one in front of them, unless I can actually see single digits for the first time since I was 21!) and now they all fit comfortably, and some are even loose. I realize when you want to lose the equivalent of an Olsen, it takes awhile to see the changes. But I've lost like 3" off my waist and 4" off my boobs (yeah, they are the first to go!) and I can tell my face has lost weight.

So come on, somebody throw me a bone here!!!

I should have started WW with a full body picture so I could do monthly comparisons. Maybe that would help me at least see it.

Right now I still see a lot of....plump skin. LOL

I can't wait until I can shop for regular clothes again, and not have a credit card at Lane Bryant! I'm tired of being plus sized. I'm ready to be normal. I'm ready to take my jeans off and not look at the ass of them and swear at the wideness of it. I'm ready for the everlasting muffin top and back fat to be gone forever.

I want to take this fat suit off. Once and for all. I'm tired of hiding behind it.

I'm following your lead, Kathy. We've been fighting this battle side by side for over ten years now, and the way you have turned your life around this past year has overjoyed and amazed me. Now I am right behind you. We both finally "get it". (Geesh, it took long enough!) And I'm proud as hell of both of us.

Tell me, readers, what do you need to finally "get"?

And then the fight started.

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She ssked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

******************************************

My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....

******************************************

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"

So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

And then the fight started.....

*****************************************

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 180 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

******************************************

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...
so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...

******************************************

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started....

******************************************

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

(NOTE FROM JULIE: I have no doubt that some day, my ex's next wife will have a similar conversation with him about my drinking. LOL)

******************************************

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

I said "Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

******************************************

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

I'm officially tatted up!

Many of you have already seen this on Facebook, but for those of you who haven't...here you go!

This was taken immediately after it was done. Still red and swollen...



And this is after I got home from work about 4 hours later.



I think my buddy D, did a fabulous job, as I knew he would. He worked on my lower back tattoo after I first had it done and made it what I wanted it to be in the first place, and he's really the only person (besides Hannah!) who I would trust with my body art.

It's really beautiful in person. He said the colors will intensify as the redness goes away. Even though it looks big and detailed, it only took an hour and fifteen minutes to do. It really didn't hurt until the last maybe 20 minutes when he was going over the same areas adding layers of color. By then it was all red and irritated as you see in the picture, and it was starting to hurt.

I love, love, love it.

There is something painfully addicting about tattoos. Thankfully I don't want to put any in places that show when I'm wearing work clothes so I'm limited on where I can put them, and I already have three...

However, I'm not sure this will be my *last* one.

This is how my best friend rolls....UPDATED

Quick, can you identify this?



Now, remember what you think it is so you can comment and tell me your original thought.

Yesterday, I was chatting with my BFF Elizabeth about our weekends, and asked what she did. She explained to me that she was out in her pool for awhile on Sunday and ended up getting burned like crazy even on such an overcast day.

Then she went on and explained this:

Yeah, I had very little if any base. Funny thing was, last weekend I accidentally burnt just above my knees and my knees (wearing bermudas at a soccer game). So in an effort to get rid of the VERY noticeable burn, then tan line, I put sunscreen on the burnt/tan part, with the plan to be let the other area get some sun for like an hour or so, so that they'll match up, and then put sunscreen on the rest so it is uniformly sunning from there on out.

I must have misjudged and got the first round of knee sunblock up too high, because there was a small strip that stayed WHITE while the rest of it burnt to a crisp. So now I have a white stripe around each thigh, few inches above the knee, in between the tanned knee area from last weekend and the fried to a crisp thigh area from Sunday.

Sigh. You would die laughing.

I insisted on a picture.

She complied.

And I laughed and almost fell on the floor.

Funniest thing I've ever seen. Can you imagine what she looks like in shorts right now with a white circle around each leg like this? OMG, the visual.

I was still holding it together until she said:

Now you know Phase 3 will be, I'll be tan up top, tan down below, and the next time I'm in the sun, the stripe will burn bright red.

I cannot take anymore. I'm typing from the floor, rolled into a fetal position, weeping from laughter.

Someone stop her before she tans again.

*********I can't believe I forgot to add this***********

This is the icing on the sunburned cupcake.



The Albino Eye belly button.

The girl is trying to kill me.

I'm so excited!!!!!! And I just can't hide it!!!!

I have a buyer in contract!!!!!!

I've been dabbling in this real estate thing for almost 2 years now. Of course I got my license right as the housing market took a dump! So the first year I really didn't even try to do much. Plus, this is my "nights and weekends" gig, thankfully I don't depend on the income full time!

This past year I've had houses listed that ended up being taken off the market, I've had buyers unable to get financed, I've had houses not appraise and contracts cancelled. It's been like the perfect storm of real estate keeping me from closing a damn sale!

It is my belief, that the storm is over.

My buyer is in great shape, the house *seems* to be fine (of course we'll see after the appraisal and inspection), and I am confident this will close and I will officially have my first sale.

It's about freaking time!

And you have NO idea how good it feels! Yay me!

In other news....

Heart was great. Danica and I had a good time. My only issue with the venue was that it was lawn seating, which was fine if there was a spot ON the lawn to sit. We ended up standing for several hours and as you know, with my three herniated disks, standing for any length of time does not bode well for me. Needless to say by the time the concert started, I was in so much pain it wasn't funny. We ended up cutting out a little early because ~ loving the Wilson sisters or not ~ I had pain shooting down my legs and up my back and I had to go.

Turns out they played about two songs after we left so we didn't miss all that much.

My review of the show would be this....the ladies still rock. Ann has gained SO much weight, and I felt so bad for her. Her voice has lost a little of it's power quality, and maybe that's because she's so heavy, I dont' know. Nancy can still jump around and rock the guitar though! Song choice was good, but they sang too many covers of other people's music, when they have such a catalog of their own to choose from.

And that's all folks, have a great Monday!

Sunday Rewind - Check this out and be jealous.

OK first things first....Tracy and Meg, I've tried to visit both of your blogs and must need an invitation. It said to email you but I can't get to your blog to get your email address and ask for an invite! Would love to visit and comment....

Now, on to today's subject.

I thought this was an appropriate Rewind post, because on Tuesday I will finally be getting this!!!!!

So check this out and be jealous!!!!

Well, maybe not all of you will be jealous, only those who love ink!

As I mentioned in a previous post, I begged my friend Penny to design a tattoo for me. My criteria was....

1. It has to be sexy.

2. It has to be pretty.

3. It has to be colorful.

4. I like cherry blossoms.

So, I got my drawing in the mail the other day. And I LOVE IT. And I can't wait to get it! It's going on my left shoulder/upper back.

What do you think? Gorgeous, eh? Now the burning question of the day is...how big do I want to go? I'm thinking the whole upper left quadrant, on my shoulder blade/scapula area. You know what I mean? The drawing is about 9" tall, and I'm not inclined to reduce it much! It's too beautiful to make too much smaller, and besides I'm a big girl....there is nothing petite on me! I'm a firm believer in "Go big or go home." Have you seen my hair? LOL

The best part is that Penny is going with me to get it done when she gets back in town in June, so she can actually direct the tattoo artist on the color and shading as he's doing it. Sweet!!!!

I. Can't. Wait.

Happy Sunday, everyone!

OK, I lied. I'm like that.

So much for taking the weekend off blogging, eh?

I can't quit you! LOL

So last night my "boys" Jordan and his friend Ead, took me back to Evolved to get my nose piercing changed out. Seems like hanging out on OSU campus at the piercing place is becoming an every other weekend thing for us!

We stopped at Five Guys first:



It was a beautiful night and so we sat outside for awhile watching the masses on High Street.

Then we headed to Evolved, where I got the original piercing removed and a new one put in. The one they pierce you with has a longer post on it to accomodate any swelling that occurs, and if I tilted my head back even slightly you could see it and it was driving me crazy. Always looked like I had a silver booger in my nose. Not my best look. Plus the little diamond was bezel set, so the silver around it almost looked dirty.

Now I have a smaller post that you can barely see, (unless you are really looking up my nose, in which case you are WAY too close and need to back the hell up!) and the diamond is prong set so it's much blingier. (Blingier? Nothing like making up words first thing on a Saturday, eh?)

I realized you really can't see it in this picture, but it does look really good:



I also got a little light blue one, slightly bigger stone, for when I feel like being a rebel. LOL (And FYI, this picture was taken at 11:30 last night, thus the no makeup and bad hair day!)

OK honest opinion...new glasses....good or dorky? I just got them this week. My other ones were the rimless kind so you really didn't even notice them on my face. I wanted to go a completely different route this time, and I like the trendy little dark rectangular shaped ones that so many people have right now. I tried darker ones on but they were too much for me, so I went with this "plum" color. I figured since I'm not a redhead anymore, they wouldn't clash too badly! And the frames are big enough to distract from the perpetual bags under my eyes!

Happy Saturday, friends!

I think I need a blogging time out.

When I started this blog, it was meant to be a diary of sorts, about my foray back in to the dating world and my attempt at finally losing the weight I've been carrying for years.

Over time, I started blogging every day, and building readership. I've met some really wonderful people here, some of whom I've actually gotten to spend time with in person, and I've been lucky to never really have gotten ugly or flaming comments. Even my anonymous stalker dropped me after awhile.

I don't even think I've pissed anyone off, which is highly unusual for me!

But lately I find myself scrambling for something to post every day. I recycle emails in an effort to post an amusing blog, and use last years stuff on my Sunday Rewind feature.

Yesterday I posted about Penis and Dildo festivals. New low or new high for me? And I find myself reviewing men from my past with my girlfriends and saying "Remember that guy with the weird spot on his front tooth...was that anything fun to write about?"

I'm wondering if it's time to take a bloggy break and recharge my batteries?

I can't quit you. But I think I may start posting maybe three or four times a week instead of seven. At least temporarily.

I know that I will lose readers by not having something new and entertaining everyday....people come and go and I get that. I know we are all busy, and with summer coming there will be less and less interest in sitting in front of the computer reading when the sunshine and warm weather beckons.

I guess I just don't feel fresh anymore. (How many of you are reading this and wondering if you just walked into the middle of a douche commercial?)

I feel like I'm just reverbalizing the same old stale material all the time.

So I think I'm gonna take the weekend off, and figure out what I want to do from here. Unless something really exciting happens this weekend that I can't wait to post about...I'll be back Monday with a new perspective.

Oh by the way...Saturday night I'll be spending it with Danica and these two ladies.

I. Can't. Wait.

Pick A Dick Day and let's go to Dildo.

Celebrated every March 15 in Komaki, a town about 45 minutes north of Nagoya, Japan, this is the time of year where folks haul out a large wooden penis to give three cheers to fertility and renewal. The custom is an old one that is connected to bringing about a good harvest and having babies.

I say, let's just call it Pick A Dick Day.










This sure beats my trip to Dildo, Newfoundland back in 2002.



But at least I got to meet Captain Dildo then. I don't have the actual pictures anymore, I lost them in the divorce. But this is exactly where I stood...



And I had one taken under this sign as well:



We had just missed the annual Dildo Festival the week before. Just to prove I'm not lying, I actually found a picture online of the same damn sign I had one of. This one shows it was Dildo Days '98 and mine was '02. Same sign, they just change the year each time!



Ah yeah. Good times.

I'm Julie, and I'm an Attention Whore

All together now....

Hi Julie!

Thanks for that nice welcome.

So here's the thing. I have 195 followers.

I want to break 200.

It's a personal goal. I never dreamed I have more than about 5 followers when I started this blog, and now I'm becoming obsessed with my own popularity.

(I say that totally tongue in cheek because if you recall correctly, my dysfunctional date a couple of months ago informed me that I was "all caught up in my own celebrity". Celebrity? Dude, I write a blog. I'm not exactly on the cover of the National Enquirer. (Yet) But now that he brought my attention to my attention whorishness, I feel I have to maintain my reputation!)

So, who do I have to sleep with to get more followers to send me over the edge? (Baggy, put your hand down. It was a sarcastic question, not an actual offer.) Wait...I mean over my goal. God knows I'm already dangling on the edge of sanity.

I know what I'll do.

I'll have a giveaway!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Can I mail myself off to one of you?)

Bring me total strangers kicking and screaming if necessary willing followers, and whoever sends the most people my way gets a very special gift from me. Have your peeps leave me a comment telling me who sent them, and on Friday I'll announce the winner!!!!

C'mon. This will be fun. I'll make it a really nice gift too. I know how to shop OFF of Ebay too you know!

Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines. This is a prize you will not want to miss.

The contest starts...NOW.

Little things can be very exciting.

(Unless it's in the form of a penis.)

Yeah, so I got tagged by Danica for this one, and seeing how she knows where I live now and can hunt me down...I figure I better comply.

So here you go, six little things that make me happy:

1. My new nose piercing. Yeah that's right, it makes me happy. Might annoy others, but it's my frickin nose and frankly I find it sexy.

2. A good hair day can make a world of difference in one's mood.

3. Watching the scale go in the right direction, which is DOWN. I'm learning to accept my body losing weight at it's own pace even if some weeks it's tenths of a pound. As long as it's going down, I'm thrilled.

4. Fitting back into clothes that were too small. While I have on jeans today that I was still able to wear 15 lbs ago, albeit it they were very tight back then, now I'm walking around pulling them up every ten seconds because they are falling off me. I love that.

5. My flowers are blooming nicely and my garden is growing. Who knew I had a gardening bone in my body?

6. I love feeling like "me" again. I was lost for so long, and finally the old me is re-emerging. I'm no longer a passenger in my own life. I am in the driver's seat, baby.

OK now I get to annoy people by tagging them! So here you go!!!!

Linda Lou
Deb
Missy
Tiff
Dana
Kathy

Just do it and stop whining about it.

Oooh look, it's a new Bachelor post!

I know you've all been dying for a new one, and I just had to wait til the right guy came along.

Ding ding ding...we have a winner!!!!

Hello Dear,
how is your work? I should say that I am looking for a strong,sincer and geniue woman and true love, a wild passion to drive me crazy and at the same time a stable love to keep me happy and satisfied. a relationship with respect love and caring i am male 49, Originally from LOUISIANA, scott city , i came across ur profile and i love what i saw...i am Carmen J. Miller by name, i am a very nice man that loves the lord, and loves going to church ....I am single so i am thinking of to get someone beside me and i would like you to pls tell me more about yourself. I am 6-2 tall, 220lb , averagely built , i am a straight forward person , i love kids alot , i Love to travel , i am a very regious person , i love to help those in need around me .i love to make ppl laugh , i love the outdoor games , soccer to be exact and basketball . I also swim alot, My friends describe me as being loyal, caring, and straight forward I'm financial and emotionally stable. I enjoy most types of music, love nature, travel, movies and spending time...Ask what else u need to know and i would tell you.I also would like to know more about you and if there are any pics of the you, pls send them to my personal email addy .I'm Open Minded,Caring,Respective,Easy Going,Compassionate,Tender Loving,Affectionate ,Trust Worthy ,Honest and God Fearing..I don't Discrimate in terms of Ethnic Differences, Religion Differences and I really don't Think that Distance should be Barrier in a Relationship..Am looking forward to meet an Intelligent, Honest ,Caring ,Faithful , loving Affectionate, loyal and understanding woman....And i also would like you to get back to me on this same address goldenheartman1961@yahoo.com So that it would make it easier been my personal mail box ,So that i would be able to reply you quickly.As i check my mail on a daily basis. and you can also write on me on my messenger id goldenheartman1961....
Carmen J. Miller
REGARD YOU......

Is it just me, or do they speak with a weird foreign accent in Louisiana?

Dear Carmen:

Pass.

Love, Julie.

Five things you need to know today.

1. The party was great. Everyone had a lot of fun as far as I know.

2. I was drastically overserved. I poured myself one glass of wine when the party started and oddly enough it never got more than halfway empty before it miraculously expanded into a full glass again.

3. My hair hurts. And every other cell in my body. Julie + Wine - Food = Major Wineover.

4. This....



....was amazing. Chocolate buttercream frosting, chocolate cake and cream cheese filling. Holy Mother of Cakes. Weight Watcher Points = Eleventy Billion. The good news is that last night I was so busy draining several wine bottles entertaining my guests that for the most part, I forgot to eat. Somewhere around midnight I had a small sampling of the cake, unfortunately my taste buds were too drunk to fully enjoy it. So the bad news is that today...I have sampled it twice. Ugh. It's my personal belief that I have used up the remainder of this week's WW points and will be drinking water for the next four days. (Thanks again, Maggie for getting the cake for me. Remind me I owe you the money for it!)

5. I'm so freaking tired I'm about to fall asleep typing this. This is been the busiest two weeks of my life....first going to Vegas and then being in full party plan mode the minute I got back. This last three days have been nonstop, work from early morning to late night, plus there was a lot of emotion involved, and general concern about throwing a party. (I don't do parties. My sisters do the family functions, I just show up.) Seriously, I am looking forward to going back to work tomorrow just to sit down for eight hours!

That's it. The five things you needed to know today. See you tomorrow.

It's Graduation Day

I have two hours before people start to arrive at my house so here's an update of today so far:

Jordan and Steph....



Jordan, Steph and Ead....



Jordan and his mama...



My sister Sue Ellen, Jordan, his dad Greg and his stepmom Denise....



The graduates table...



The patio where we'll eat, drink and be merry....






I'll add party pictures tomorrow. When I sober up. LOL

This time tomorrow....

I will be at the Schottenstein Center preparing to watch my baby graduate from high school.

What a bittersweet moment in a parent's life.

When your child is born, you can't wait for them to walk and talk. And then suddenly they are 5 years old and heading off to kindergarten, and you think that graduation is sooooooooo far away.

Yet somehow that next twelve years flies by in the blink of an eye.

I still remember what my son wore on his first day of school. And how I put him on the bus, and cried, and then followed along behind it in my car so I could walk him to class. I remember handing him off to the teacher and telling her to take good care of my little guy. And I walked out of there with tears rolling down my face because I knew he was growing up.

We had lots of arguments over the years about how much better one's grades are when they actually turn their homework in. My sister Linda was a teacher at the time, and she would sit Jordan down and write out math problems on napkins at her kitchen table and make him show her he could do the work...."not understanding" wasn't the problem....turning the work in to the teacher was! He could not fool her, or anyone else with that excuse.

When he was ending his sophmore year, my best friend Elizabeth's daughter was graduating, and E told me that I would be amazed at how quickly the next two years would fly by.

She wasn't kidding. It feels like we had that conversation two months ago, not two years ago.

And now here we are. I walked into the room to write this post today, and the first thing I saw was this...



His cap and gown, just hanging around, waiting to do it's job tomorrow. I took a deep breath and sighed when I saw it, knowing that 24 hours from now, the major part of my job as a parent is done. My son will be an 18 year old adult with a high school diploma, and ready to start college in the fall.

I feel pretty good about the job I've done. I've made parenting mistakes (who hasn't?) but either because of me, or in spite of me, he has become an amazing young man. I had a lot of help along the way. Jordan's Dad and Stepmom are a very important part of his life, as well as my family and friends. I thank you all for everything you've done for Jordan, and for me.

I've been very teary the past couple of days, as I've been frantically cleaning house to prepare for his grad party. I keep the thoughts of the actual graduation ceremony at bay, because when I think about it I do start to cry. Not sad tears, really. Just emotional ones. It breaks my heart that my sister Linda won't be there with us. She and her husband Jan were, for the most part, Jordan's surrogate parents. They couldn't have children of their own, so they treated their nieces and nephews like they'd given birth to them. I know that as Jordan receives his diploma, somewhere Linda will be clapping and saying "Go Gordo!" and beaming with pride just like I am. Her husband and his new wife will be there in person, it makes me happy that Jan will be "representing" for Linda.

I doubt that I will post tomorrow, it will be a crazy day, but I'll be back on Sunday with a recap and pictures.

I'll end this very simply....

Tomorrow my son takes that last big step from childhood to adult. Take care of him, world. Love him as much as I do, and I promise you that you will get great things in return.

He is a wonderful man, and I could not be any prouder.

I love you, bug. Happy Graduation!

Dear Doctor....

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer....that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...No Pain!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.

It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Important Disclaimer from Julie....Just FYI, this is NOT to be confused with medical advice from Dr. Penny!!!!!! Rather, it's my conversation with Dr. Feelgood. LOL

Semi-Wordless Wednesday

Sometimes...there's just nothing left to say.

Yeah, I'll go there. **UPDATED***

I'm a bad friend. Please go to Danica's blog and wish her a happy birthday!!! She's 36 today. Jesus, I have shoes older than her.

OK on to the original post subject:

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON trailer in HD


Here's the thing.

Can't stand the girl. She annoys the crap out of me and is NOT who I imagine Bella to be. Seriously, she has the personality of bread...on and off screen. Personally I think she's the dead one....

Edward is about 80% hot in my book. Why does he have to look like he has white powder all over his face when none of the other vampires in his family do? He'd be 95% hot in my book if he didn't look like he'd been dipped in baking soda.

Jacob. There should be a law against how hot that young man looks shirtless now. I feel icky looking at him like that seeing how he is YOUNGER than my own son. Oy vey! But oh my...those arms...that chest....crap, he's 17. Ugh. I hate this devil/angel on my shoulder thing. LOL

I admit to being excited for the next movie to come out. I want them to continue filming them back to back so I don't have to wait long in between movies.

And it's it about time for Stephenie Meyer to write another book?

OK, my Twilight post is over now. You may return to your regularly scheduled blog reading.