OK kids, I need to be dating. There is something MAJOR missing from my life. I don't think I need to elaborate on what it is. I think the blog title...and picture...are self explanatory.
Thing is...I miss all aspects of a relationship, but this one in particular. I've always been very...um...active in that department. And this unintentional celibacy is killing me. I'm too young to have cobwebs south of my waist!
We all know I continued dating my ex for three years after our divorce, and frankly this was one of the reasons why. The devil you know is better than no devil at all...at least it was at the time. Now that devil is no longer an option....I just can't go there no matter how bad being alone feels. Some things never change, and he's one of them.
So what is a girl to do?
I'm not a booty call kind of gal. Don't get me wrong, there are more than a few ex's
It's just so hard to meet men. I'm on a free dating website...mostly for blog fodder....and frankly there hasn't been anyone on there recently that I've talked to on there who interests me enough to actually get all glammed up and meet. And after the last two that I did meet...yeah, one might say there are plenty of fish in the sea, but are there any real men?
This weekend I considered Match.com or eHarmony, but I've tried that before right after my divorce, and frankly I wasn't impressed there either.
Sigh.
Give me some ideas here. All my friends are married, so all of their friends are married. I don't meet many single
So, single bloggers...where do you go to meet people to date? C'mon, help a sister out here. Know any single guys 40 to early 50's in or around Columbus, Ohio? Got an uncle you forgot to mention to me?? A cute and single brother-in-law? Tians.sis, can you please send Johnny my way? He's soooooooooooo damn cute! I'll take good care of him, I promise. Really, really good care. Mindblowing care. LOL I'll send that boy back home cryin for his mama.
And no, in case you are wondering, I don't need new batteries. I have rechargeable ones. LOL
As my BFF Elizabeth says...I need to break the seal! HELP!!!!
29 comments:
Damn those cobwebs!!! I will be out in the scene soon myself, so I need all the help I can get. I am damn sure missing the SEX part in a relationship.
If I find something I will share it, promise.
I've often wondered myself whether anyone had ever actually died from acute horniness or whether I would be the first.
Anyhow, I'd really like to help you out. I mean really. Not just because I'm so altruistic either. But (1) I'm married. (2) More to the point, after years of ultimate fighting to the death, Butler finally has the upperhand over Bagman which makes (1) more than a minor nuisance.
So instead of getting on a plane to come visit you, I'll tell you my 5-step solution to the problem.
1. Kept breathing long enough for my testosterone to start drying up...somewhere between 61 and 63.
2. Had my prostate removed -- heck, it was pretty worn out by then anyhow.
3. Practiced the art of redirecting my sex drive to other activities.
4. By the application of massive doses of humor, developed a tolerance for chronic depression resulting from the fact that #3 was complete bullshit and that life as I imagined it was essentially over.
5. Practiced repetitive meditation based on daytime television, re-runs of Golden Girls, and infomercials.
I am still working on steps 4 and 5 so can't guarantee the results yet. And besides, I'm a guy so I don't know if they work for women but I suspect your other followers will have better advice.
Side effects may include increase appetite, inability to sleep, unexplainable rage against teenagers necking in public, and overuse of batteries.
Hope this helped. If Butler should happen to die before Bagman and if medical science eventually develops a prostate transplant procedure, I'll give you a call.
I am 37, and I have all but given up. I have standards, and nobody is meeting them. I refuse to sell out, since that is what I did with my ex, but it does make for some lonely Saturday nights. I am going to be very interested in your comments, and I may just be taking notes.
If your feeling kinda blue pull out an old pic of the ex..that should do it.....Im sorry darlin....hang tough...
Well I work at a big enough company that is loaded with hotties, thus how I found LW. But clearly you aren't going to find anyone at the small company you work for so....hum.
What about the gym? It's funny because I start talking to all of the guys (or they come up to me) and then I mention I'm there with my boyfriend and they back off. So try the Gahanna Y. Lots o' cuties there! The bookstore (Barnes and Noble) or the libray is a great place too. Lots of educated hotties out there!
Pick up a hobby like....running, rock climbing, walking club, ski club, etc. You can always meet men that way!
You are only the second person I have heard refer to the Cobwebs. One of my girlfriends would rate dates on whether they were only "dusters" or keepers. Too funny.
I didn't get cobwebs. I rusted shut! Married for 30 years and 12 of it was without sex. By the time I met Joe, I needed WD40 and a chisel and it WASN'T a pleasant experience.
After about 4 years of wanting to climb the nearest fencepost, the horny feelings went away. I didn't realize that it you don't use it, you DO lose it. You've got 3 years to go before the cobwebs turn into oxidation.
Feel better now?
God help me, I joined a dating website over the weekend. Actually, re-joined a free one I briefly belonged to a couple years ago (perhaps the same one?). I'm already disappointed and thinking about removing my profile.
I have absolutely no idea how/where to meet men. My world just doesn't seem to include any opportunities to meet new single, available, interested, INTERESTING men and I don't know how to expand it so it does. Add in the fact that I am a plus-size woman and not appealing to all men, it's incredibly frustrating.
Harumph.
I feel your pain sister...I'm right there with you. The only thing that I can suggest is reconnecting with old friends. There could be someone who was just a good friend back then that you look at differently now. You never know!
Oh Dear. I am so sorry. I am alone for 6 months (yepp, I can see you roll the eyes for that short amount of time) and I am getting frantic....no, I am not interested in a man, nor in a relation but sex - PURE.
Paula
I'm right there with you, sister. I swear God is getting even with me for all that I had in my younger years telling me "Ok, you've had your quota, more than your quota, really. No more for you." :(
Match.com, e-Harmony, Singlesnet. SUCK. Sorry. And Singlesnet is the worst. Just read my post about that here...
Good luck!
Hey Julie and all other single women....I'm happingly married but....I'm saying this nicely...get OFF the computer and go where the guys are....there are lots of them ....go to a rodeo, join a running club..(solve two things there,,,exercise and sex)..take up golf...I sold a horse trailer once and honestly I could have went out with each and every guy that looked at it...and I am just your average try to stay in shape 55 year old woman....but first you have to be honest with yourself and really decide if it is sex or a relationshp you are looking for....
I did meat Mr. Peach Tart on match.com and we're still together 5 years later. I do agree with the comments to just get out there in your community where the men are and mingle.
Julie, 1st off, have you seen the new social networking/dating site I'm doing called FlutterDate.com? Ch-ch-ch-check it out! 2nd, think of my blog subject today and get your competitive spirit charged! You're not going to let some geriatric granny gropers out sex you, are you? Hell no!
You have to go where the men are, so everyone who said join something is right. Do you like hunter? Join a hunting class or program. Do you like bike riders? Join the bicycle club in your city. Or make some calls and volunteer for a triathalon and work at the age group signup you are interested in. Volunteering makes talking to guys less akward.
I don't have a solution for your predicament but I have to tell you, you and a lot of the other ladies here are restoring my faith in women. For many years, my wife and I have lived in the same house and slept in the same bed but she acted like sex couldn't be further from her mind. Things have improved somewhat these days but I still never sense the "gotta have it" kind of urgency in her approach to sex. It is nice to hear that there are women out there who think differently. Hang in there. Good luck.
I'm right there with you.
Except I need new batteries.
oh boo hoo, count me in....I am not even divorced or legally separated and I already am celibate and thinking this will be my new hobby, LOL....so I will follow right along with you, if you don't mind.
Heck, my son races motocross....men outweigh woman about 10 to 1, but most are young guys (very nice eye candy),but ya never know....the only thing is it is very DUSTY so you gotta tolerate that. Once I am single, that will be an interesting place for me to look...right under my ex's nose!! brahahahaha!!!
Jill from NY
Have you tried Meetup.com? There are a lot of different types of groups or social clubs on there that are geared to what you like and you can search them by your zipcode. For instance if you like hiking, search hiking in your zip code and it'll pool groups in your area. You may meet someone through one of them.
I hear you loud and clear! Although I've never been brave enough to do the online dating. Most of my Saturday nights find me sitting on my best (married!) friend's couch having dinner and lots of wine with she and her husband! Haven't met a single guy on her couch - imagine.
I know one! But I wouldn't wish that one on anyone dispite how cute he is.
Do you like the gym or sporting events?
I'd give eharmony another try. It's probably better than years ago when you tried it.
Gosh, good luck.
And all I wrote about today was showing a little cleavage. "If I Knew You Were Coming, I Would Have Baked a Bigger Bra". Clearly, you trumped me.
>I've had two friends get married from eharmony. Maybe give it another shot?
Make a booty call or two...just to get your head back in the game. You make the call & the you call the shots.
Get your head clear & go in for the kill.
1.I agree with Kimberly: answer to the booty call if you can so you aren't confusing sex with relationship needs.
2. I agree with all those who said get your ass out there in the places you CAN meet men -- I told you a long time ago that if you are wasting time on someone or somewhere else just to have SOMETHING, you ain't gonna find what you want.
3. Variety is the spice of life -- do it all. Join the dating services (you can't assume it will be the same result), get out and about, go to the gym (you'll be killing two birds with one stone), be in the places to meet the men.
4. Concentrate on what you want, with no buts. Don't think about what you don't want. Think about it all the time. You have to know what you want to get it. Right now, you are on two tracks: sex and relationship. Pick one. Which brings us full circle back to #1!
You never find it when you are looking for it where you are looking for it -- it always happens when you least expect it! I really like the idea of looking up old friends -- that's how I found Eddie! Now, go girl!
P.S. Have you ever seen the movie "Yes Man"? The premise is that in order to live life, you have to say "yes". Say "yes" to everything that is not potentially dangerous. This attitude will lead you to every possible experience, which is what life is about anyway. So, just say "yes" to every invitation, every experience offered. NOW, go girl!
Julie, my dear twin separated at birth, I must teach you how to go out on the town by yourself. I guarantee, you won't be alone for long! See a band you like--that's an easy and comfortable way to have a drink by yourself since you have the focal point of the music. And use my trick--pretend you're friends with someone in the band.
To practice getting out there by yourself, next time you're meeting a girlfriend somewhere, arrive a half hour early. That way you know it's time-limited and sooner or later your friend will show. In the meantime, you'll learn to get more comfortable sitting by yourself.
Going out alone is a fantastic way to meet people. I'll help you!
CAN'T WAIT to see you! XOXO
I'm not sure. I've always thought that love comes along when you're NOT looking.. not wanting.. not needing. So really, I don't know. What I do know is that I met my love on Facebook of all places and .. nope, I wasn't looking :-) Good luck and just get yourself out there. Online, offline.. just busy yourself doing things you enjoy and the right one will come along xo
Cobwebs! I can sadly relate to that one.
I've been on all the dating sites. I think the free one is the worst because then you get all the bottom of the barrel guys who are too cheap to even pay for a membership. I have 3 friends who met and married through Match.com
I just tell people I'm looking. Everyone knows a friend of a friend.
I wish I had known you a few years back. I met a great guy in Columbus and we tried dating but he was never going to move and neither was I. He's married now.
I guess I won't offer a box of batteries...If you were closer I'd loan out dh for awhile..lolol.
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