Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!
And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am a lip reader?
I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection.well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!
Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.
Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices?
The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?
I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!
All I can do is pass along this warning:
WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!
Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities..
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
PS: I am posting this in a larger font size, because something has happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they once were.
18 comments:
I am CRACKING up. Yes, I typed that in a larger font so you could read it, but if you scooch your chair way back from the computer you will be able to see it better.
You too! Thank goodness. I thought I was the only one who noticed, and I was losing my mind. I kept thinking I was trapped in a Dr. Who episode. Hopefully, we can group together...we can...crap, what was I saying? They did it to me again. Those mind rays take away our thoughts you know.
I've been complaining about font sizes for ages now. I have to scooch my chair forward and lean into the screen to read stuff...no casual slouching any more. And the cartoons in the newspaper are smaller... except yes, they really ARE smaller, at least in our paper, and I can't read most of the dialogue. Anyway, I'm glad you're onto the conspiracy; thanks for starting the revolution.
I have noticed the exact same things.. they are all in on it....
Great post.
Kelly
http://www.ivebecomemymother.com
I've noticed all that, too, but on the bright side.....elevators and the grocery store are playing better music.
It is absolutely ridiculous. I think we all need to be proactive and call obama.
Oh good! Someone else has noticed this 'conspiracy', I thought it was just me!
I tried warning people about this, but all they did was suggest that I get my meds adjusted
ROFLMAO - great post!!!! So freaking funny!
Hilarious!
I think I'm just going to cut all of the tags out of my clothes now.
I've noticed it too, but thought it was me. Glad to find out there really is a conspiracy. Great Post!! I'm still laughing!!
hehehe Im old! my eyes were too bad to read all of your post! hehe
And I thought it was just me. Thank goodness it's a real conspiracy.
I am with you on this one Sista!
I would attend a protest rally in support of these ideas, if only I had the energy.....
I was complaining about these very things the other day!! You expressed it so much better than I ever could. Another thing have you noticed that the are making the booths in resturants closer to the floor so it is harder to get out of them??
All of that is beyond true. In fact, I have to complain that the piano sheet music was also printed in tiny print and even with my reading glasses on, I can't seem to read the chords.
Please tell me it's not an age thing.
Damn girl, you have discovered what I have been noticing for awhile. Lets not forget that the laws of physics are also getting out of whack.I do not understand,"what drys up , leaks".
No kidding--kids are MUCH younger than they used to be! I just posted today about overprotective parents who baby their kids into their 20s.
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