Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Scenes from a vacation

OK, let’s start with the cast of characters:
Me. (Duh….)
Sue Ellen - my sister
Patty – my sister
Molly – Patty’s daughter (she’s a lawyer so I have to say nice things here or she’ll sue me)
Mary - my cousin (her mother and my mother were sisters)
Houseboy - Mary’s husband
B&B – Mary’s big ass house.

Mary and Houseboy live in Virginia, so we flew into Baltimore because it was cheaper than Dulles or Reagan, and just drove an hour to their house. I did all the driving, rental car in my name, don’t trust either of the sisters behind the wheel. Mama did not raise a fool.

Friday morning we got to Mary’s house around 11am. It’s big, it’s beautiful, and it’s better than any bed & breakfast you could stay at, thus the reason it’s called the B&B.



We got settled in, and decided to go grab some lunch and hit up a couple of wineries. Had lunch at a place called Five Guys, which is a burgers & fries place. Good, but I’ll stick with my all time fav, which is In-N-Out Burger.

First winery we went to was called Naked Mountain Winery. I was all excited thinking maybe our wine guy would be a Chippendale or something but alas, no such luck. The most fun I got out of that place was a cork in my wine bottle that said “Drink Naked”. The views were great and the wine was good, although they were out of Riesling which is my favorite.

Here's Patty, Mary and Sue Ellen:



The vines:



The winding road going in and out of that place scared the beejeezus out of us. It’s one lane with drops off either side, and you have to honk practically the entire way to warn anyone coming around the bend that you are there. We were all trying to figure out what happens if two cars meet on the road. Somebody’s backing up for sure.

Next stop, Chateau O’Brien Winery. Now, this is more like it. Cute Guy was our wine steward, and he knew Mary by name and remembered which wines she’d already tasted before (just how often does she go there??) He had some good whites, a really nice rose’, and this amazing Apple Wine that I guess he’s won awards for. I brought a bottle back in my suitcase and amazingly enough it did not get broken!

Outside the Winery:



Wine in it's earliest form:



Friday night we just hung out at the B&B with Mary, while Houseboy waited on us. He does good work, that one. I can see why she’s kept him around for 36 years! We had a good time laughing at old family albums, especially the one of Mary & Houseboy’s wedding. I took pictures of the pictures with my iPhone camera, so they aren’t the clearest in the world but you’ll get the idea of what a wedding in 1972 looked like! They were stylin’, baby. And this lovely young lady, who caught the bouquet at the ripe old age of 11, is of course, moi. I think this is the first photographic evidence of a dude checking out my rack.



I could not post the one of Mary's wedding party as it was sideways and no matter what I do it will not turn, and I didn't want you straining your neck looking at it with your head tilted all the way to the right.

Saturday we got up and headed into Washington, DC. Now, I haven’t been there since 6th grade, so it’s been a few years. I was, of course, doing the driving, and Molly, who lived in DC while going to law school, was navigating us. Except that virtually every street she told me to turn down, was closed off for one reason or another. By the time we finally parked at Union Station, I was ready for a cocktail! (No, I didn’t have one, but dammit I should have, if I’d known what lay ahead in a few short hours!) (More on that in a minute…)

Union Station:




Molly, Patty, Sue and Mary:



We checked out Union Station for awhile, and then took the Metro over to the Washington Memorial. We walked around and tried to see the American History museum but it was closed for renovations. We saw the reflecting pool and the World War 2 Memorial, and other sites around there. It was a beautiful day, low 70’s and sunny, and we were really having a great time.







My favorite picture of the Washington Monument. I was walking by as the sun was behind it....



Then a work related issue cropped up which required my attention. And that meant dealing with my ex who was already pissed off at me for The Stupidest Reason Ever (too stupid to even mention), and what happened from there was that he proceeded to text me raging ugly text messages from 4pm on Saturday through 2am the next morning. Yes, 2am. Needless to say, I ignored every one of them. There were 42 text messages during that 10 hour period, and all I could think of to myself was “You are incessantly texting me like an insane person for ten straight hours, and I’m the loser???????”

I got very concerned for the wellbeing of my son who was home alone while I was in another state, and to make a long story short ended up having the police patrol our house all night. He started texting again the next morning, and kept it up through 12:20am on Monday morning. I never responded once. I don't deal with crazy well.

So back to the story…we jumped back on the Metro and headed out to Arlington Cemetery which was really cool to see. Walked around, got some pictures, and then took the Metro back to Union Station and drove back to the B&B.





Saturday night we originally had plans to watch the Sex & The City movie, but by the time we got back and had dinner that Houseboy made us, and several cocktails of course, we were all too tired to sit through a 2 ½ hour movie. We watched the Buckeyes beat Wisconsin instead (and had they scored at one particular point, Patty threatened to do a back flip off the air mattress…but dammit they didn’t score on that drive!), and all went to bed. I of course couldn’t sleep worrying about my son being home alone and Psycho texting me nonstop, but eventually he gave up and I got some sleep.

Sunday was basically just a relaxing day. We hung out at the B&B just talking and enjoying time together, and then went into town to see “Nights in Rodanthe”. Perfect chick flick for 5 young ladies like us to watch. Left there crying (even though the movie was predictable, it still makes you cry!), headed back to the B&B for dinner and drinks. I believe I got Mary fairly intoxicated on Coconut Rum & Pineapple Juice, which I should add Sue Ellen imbibed in a couple of those as well, and she’s not a drinker at all!

Not sure what happened with this picture, but it might have been how I was actually seeing things at that time:



As the alcohol flowed and the evening progressed, and the conversation turned to Patty’s threat to do a back flip the night before, Mary decided that she would give us a demonstration of her gymnastic abilities. First up was her cartwheel. I had to break the news to her that she got no hang time whatsoever in it. She was crushed. We were dying laughing. Then she attempted the back flip on the floor. I tried taking pictures, but I was laughing so hard I couldn’t hold the camera still. Houseboy did get pictures however, he had a much better camera than I did….and frankly he’s lived with her for 36 years, he’s seen it all and isn’t surprised at anything at this point.

This was all I got...I was laughing too hard and she was rolling too fast:



Not to be outdone, I did something that none of them were capable of. Yes, I did the splits. And yes, I pulled a muscle in my leg as well. But what’s a little pain when you’re reliving your younger wilder days?? The crowd was stunned that I could get within a couple of inches of the floor, seeing how I am 47 and waaaaaaaaaaay out of shape! Houseboy jumped up with his camera and got a picture of me, and I was hoping to have it before I did this post but he hasn’t sent it to me yet, so I will put it in a follow up one day. I’m damn proud that I could still do the splits at my age, and I’m fairly certain that particular show of my gymnastic ability has secured my open invitation from Houseboy to come back anytime!

On Monday, we got up and just enjoyed spending some time together before we had to leave for the airport. It was so great being there with Mary. She and her two sisters spent a lot of time growing up with my three older sisters, as they were all the same ages. By the time I came along, the families didn’t really get together that often so I never had a chance to really get to know my cousins. Mary has told me that she enjoys reading my blog because its really given her insight into who I am as a person, as an adult, and what I’d been through in my life. I really, really enjoyed spending time with her and getting to know her as well. She is…a hoot. (You knew I was gonna say that, Mare!)



So other than the text missives , it was a fabulous trip. We have all decided to not let so many years go by again that we don’t see each other. Mary is coming to Ohio to visit us, and we hope to show her as good of a time as she did us. Thanks to Mary and Houseboy for opening up your B&B, and your lives…to us. We love you!!!!



Oh, and on my way out of town, we got gas at my favorite new place ever. Who names a gas station the WaWa?





Tuesday, October 7, 2008

I stole this from Deb

It's a diversion to keep you from noticing I haven't posted about my vacay yet.

It's called The Fab Four.

A) Four places that I go to over and over: Work (duh!), Krogers, Kohl's, Sleep. LOL

B) Four people who e-mail me (regularly): Georgie, Deb, Jill and Danica

C) Four of my favorite places to eat: Outback, anything Japanese, PF Changs, on my couch.

D) Four places I would rather be right now: A beach (I'm not picky); at the lottery office collecting my winnings; at/in/on (insert location here) having sex (really, really great sex); getting a massage.

E) Four people I think will respond: Danica, Liz, Jill and Megryansmom.

F) Four TV shows I watch (regularly): Survivor, Desperate Housewives, Dancing with the Stars, Project Runway.

Come on, play with me.


It's coming, I swear!

Yeah, things were crazy at work today and I couldn't blog about my trip. However, I am writing it tonight and will insert pictures when I get to work tomorrow, and post it in the morning!!!!

Stay tuned....

Unable to post today

I'm unable to write the post I wanted to today. Things are crazy at work. Will try to do so tonight...


Monday, October 6, 2008

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack

Hi kids!

Miss me??? I'm back from my trip, and for the most part had a great time! A little dysfunction on the part of the ex came close to causing me to cut my vacation short, but I stayed and partied on!

I have to upload pictures tomorrow, and will post them with details tomorrow night.

So, what did I miss? Come on, I've been away from blogging for what seems like weeks, give me something!!!!!

By the way, I had to change to a new email address. I think I emailed most everyone but I've noticed when I comment on your blogs now, it comes up with my full name and not just Julie, and no picture. I'll figure out how to fix that later.


Sunday, October 5, 2008

Just a quickie

Hi kids! Just a quick note to say I'm having a blast in Virginia/Washington/wherever the hell I am...it's so much fun being with my sisters, niece and cousin. A good time is being had by all. Well, except for one small issue which I will explain another time. (Ask Georgie, I emailed her about it!)

I'll be home tomorrow around 4pm and will update my blog and check out what's been going on with you guys too!

Miss ya!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Off to Baltimore/Washington!

Good morning Blogga's!

I'm at the airport waiting on our 6:30 flight and posting from my iPhone. I should be able to post while I'm gone so I can keep you updated each day! I can feel your excitement from here.

Oh, the pregnant thing? It's been a long running joke on the Nestie board that every time I go out of town somebody gets pregnant. Some of these girls have offered me vacations to get pregnant! And evidently my talents have expanded to rubbing tummies to cause it as well as some cyber groping. My Nesties who read my blog can attest to my magical powers.

Ok kids I'll talk to you soon. Leave me lots of comments! Haha

Thursday, October 2, 2008

So I'll be out of town this weekend...who wants to Guest Blog?

C'mon. You *know* you do. You're just dying to get your hands on my blog and actually make it funny for a change!

I'm heading to Washington DC tomorrow for a long weekend with my sisters, visiting my cousin. I have access to a computer while I'm there but not sure I'll have time to blog about the trip until I get back on Monday afternoon.

So if any of you wingnuts lovely ladies want to make my blog your own for a day...let me know!!!!!

Thank you...

Thanks for your response. I feel better now. Don't disappear though, we have a few things to talk about!!!

Dear Anonymous Commenter

It has come to my attention that I have a new visitor to my blog. This person works in some capacity for the State of Ohio, according to the IP address that comes up on my blog counter stats.

I always welcome new readers, don't get me wrong.

But yesterday, I got my first truly anonymous comment on my post about the dream of remarrying my ex and how I've finally moved on. My other commenters who use the Anonymous feature always leave their names so I know who they are, so in an effort to figure out who this unknown person was, I started going through my blog stats.

Turns out, this person came to my blog on September 29th (Monday) at 7:21am, it appears for the first time. Over the next couple of hours they glanced through most of the monthly archives, and eventually started reading my blog posts by label.

Oddly enough, the labels all had to do with me and my ex-husband's relationship. Labels such as "The Ex", "Divorce", "Cheating Husbands", "Mother-in-Law", "Boat", and even "Weekend Fun" and "Mental State". Some of the individual posts read included the one about my wedding anniversary two weeks ago, and the day of my divorce.

These things seemed odd to me, but I also considered that whoever my new reader was, might just be trying to get caught up on my story, and since this blog is about starting over after divorce, logically they would look under the key words pertaining to that, right? Makes perfect sense.

But then I saw the one thing that sent my radar into high gear.

Two searches of my blog were done...both under my Ex's name. That's when I got a little creeped out by this. I have never, ever mentioned my Ex's name in this blog, and never will. The people who know me, know who he is so I don't need to say his name. The rest of my readers have no idea who is is, nor do they care. So clearly, Anonymous at least knows me, or knows us both.

Based on the comments yesterday, I assume Anonymous is a woman. There was nothing really too weird about the comments (other than the "Play on, player" thing. WTF?) (I've been called a lot of things in my life, but player isn't one of them!!!!) but knowing that whoever is leaving them clearly knows enough about me to know my ex's name, well I find that to be very unsettling.

One may argue that by having a blog that can be read by anyone in the world, I am opening myself up and should just deal with it. I respect that. By the same token, I have the right to know who is searching for information about my ex. I have never said anything about him, or our marriage ending that I have not said to his face, but seeing how he has very few friends and lots of enemies, my comfort level has been compromised by this particular situation.

This could be very harmless, and I could be overreacting. And if I am, I apologize. But anyone who knows me well enough to know my ex's name should have no problem identifying themselves to me.

So, I am officially asking you to identify yourself, because I know you are reading this. You can email me privately if you'd rather not out yourself via comments. If you know me really well, call me. But just understand that I have had problems in the past with unstable people stalking me, and I am uncomfortable not knowing who you are. So before I block your IP and/or contact your network administrator, I'm giving you a chance to identify yourself.

Thank you.

Thought Provoking Thursday

And by "thought provoking" I mean "Here, look at this stuff while I try to come up with something clever to write today". At least they are funny if nothing else.





My personal favorite:














Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Seven Random Facts about ME!!!!

OK, Liz tagged me so here are seven random facts about me.

1. I have taken college courses in every decade since the 70's. Yes, I'm that old, and still degreeless.

2. I used to emcee a male revue and also ran my friend's Strip-A-Gram business. There are worse things than looking at naked men and getting paid for it.

3. I was a bartender at a place called the Side Door in Lancaster for several years in the 80's. (I think it was the late 80's....most of that decade is still a blur!)

4. I write, eat, and put makeup on with my left hand. Everything else, I do with my right, such as bat, bowl, hold the hair dryer, use a mixer, cut with scissors, etc.

5. I secretly wish I could sing and have always wanted to take voice lessons. However if you have ever heard me, you know there isn't a voice teacher in the world who could make me sound good.

6. I almost broke my back bowling. True story.

7. I once had purple hair. By accident. Twenty five years later, friends will still sing "Purple Rain" to me and laugh.

Who else wants to play? Don't make me tag you! Volunteer, it's easier!!!!

Attention Followers

You have your own area now on the right. For everyone who becomes I follower, I'll send you a dirty picture via email.

Oh for the love of God, NO!! NOT OF ME. What the hell kind of reward would that be? I'm trying to up my following, not scare them off!!!!!!!!!!

Not all dreams come true, right??

So last night I had a nightmare dream that I was remarrying my ex.

I can't lie and say I haven't thought about it over the years. Especially in the early times post divorce, when I was still in love with him. Yes, I know that makes me officially crazy to have ever even considered it, but I have to own my issues no matter how big or small they are!

But this past year, he and I have been growing apart, and by that I mean, at least for me, finally falling out of love. I still care about him, I still love him as one does any person they spent 8 years of their life with, but I'm no longer IN love with him. This past month has been really, really monumental, in that I have only seen him one time, and have actually gone several days in a row without talking.

So anyway, last night I have this dream that I am marrying him again. I can't remember all the details right now, but I do know that I was in a room with several of my girlfriends, and they kept telling me I had to get my dress on and get ready, and it was time and he was waiting and all those things, and I kept dragging my feet and thinking to myself "I made this mistake once. Why am I making it again?" At one point I remember saying "What are we doing tonight? Just in case I don't get married...we could all go out or something!" and somebody said "You are thinking about not marrying him again?" and I said "I've been thinking about it for a long time, and now I need to do something about it before it's too late."

The funny thing is that I had very similar feelings the first time I married him. For three months before our wedding I had a website called "There Goes the Bride" on my favorites list. It was about women who cancelled their weddings. That should have been my first clue, right? And the day of my wedding, as the doors opened and my son and I stood there about to walk down the aisle, I remember feeling frozen and thinking "OK this is your last chance to get out of this!", and Jordan kind of tugged at my arm and said "C'mon Mom!"....and off I went. Yet another red flag I chose to ignore.

...back to reality....

Anyway, the most significant thing about this dream is that I could actually feel the emotion of "I do not want to marry him anymore". That is huge for me! You have no idea.

Somewhere in my subconcious, I have finally given myself permission to feel that personal truth, and I cannot tell you how freeing it is. I've suspected it for awhile now, but wouldn't let myself actually go there because somehow it made me (yet again!) feel like a failure...because if marrying him the first time turned out to be the biggest hurt of my life, then admitting I wouldn't marry him again somehow pointed the finger at me for ever making the mistake in the first place. I know that sounds warped but it's how I feel. As a very wise woman told me recently...

Oh, the damage we do to ourselves after everyone else is finished!

For the first time in three LONG years, I feel like I have made peace with my divorce. And I cannot tell you how amazingly wonderful that feels. It's been a very long time coming, and I am really, truly, finally ready to put my marriage and divorce behind me, and move on with my life. And I'm happy about that.

So tell me, have you ever had a dream that really turned things around for you, or made something much clearer?