We have to make some decisions as her family as to what course of treatment to take. She's 85 years old, and pretty frail, although in pretty good health physically, her heart and lungs are strong, etc. The surgeon tells us this bleeding will recur, and continue to recur, it's basically either a result of blood vessels in the colon bursting (from old age) or diverticulitis. The common fix is surgery, but at her advanced age she's really not a candidate for that. So the question becomes do we continue to transfuse blood into her when it happens, which is basically just prolonging the inevitable, or do we do nothing and let nature take it's course?
And how do you make that decision about your mother, or anyone you love for that matter?
Yesterday was a tough day. Today we are dividing up shifts at the hospital among my sisters and me. I'm going into work for the day (assuming nothing bad happens), and then my shift starts at 4pm. We're really just in a holding pattern, waiting to see if she starts to bleed again and then figuring out what to do from there.
So I'll be spending Mother's Day in the hospital with my Mom. It may be our last one together. I'm not counting her out yet, though....she's a tough little bird. She's had us convinced more than once that she was moving on and she rallied and stayed with us. I just want what is best for her, and I've turned her over to God and put her in His hands. After all, He knows far more than I do about what's best.
My wish for all of my readers who are mothers, is that you have a wonderful day on Sunday celebrating with your children. And if you are lucky enough to still have your mother here with you, please cherish every second you have with her.
Happy Mother's Day a little early, ladies.
I love you, Mom.
33 comments:
I have been praying for yall. Hang in there sweetie.
Thanks, Tiff.
I'm delurking to tell you I have you and your family in my prayers. Those kinds of decisions are the hardest to make - I've been there.
Dear Julie,
My heart goes out to you and your family. At some point, we have to go through the ordeal of losing our parents .... but no matter the age, it's always difficult. Trust that your heart will lead you in the right direction .......
Hope Your Mother's Day isn't too hard.
What a beautiful post, Julie. Prayers for your mother and the rest of the family. You're wise to put her in God's hands--that's all you really can do anyway. I'll be spending Mother's Day in Boise with my mother, and will squeeze her extra tightly as I remember your words.
Hang tough, dear friend.
XOXO
Ugh, we're going through the same kind of thing with my grandma right now as well. I'll be thinking about you and your family during this difficult time.
I love the photo of the three of you. It's really beautiful. I also love hearing your testament of faith in letting her in God's hands, as hard as that can be. She's in His plan for her life. 'hugs'
Thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family this Mother's Day. Keep believing that god will do what's best. Happy Mother's Day (a little early)
You all keep the faith! Doctors are not always right, and quite often flat out wrong. If they don't know what caused the bleeding then they can't say for sure it will happen again. Positive thoughts and prayer can go a long way. My thoughts are with you all.
Sending lots of love and hugs. I am all too familiar with the routine of hanging out at the hospital and taking shifts. My thoughts and prayers are with your mother.
As always Mother's Day is a toughie for me. But I'm grateful I have LW's Mom as she is an amazing woman.
Hang in there.
Oh I'm so sorry to read this. You and your family are in my thoughts. Hang in there! This must be a real struggle. It's good that you have your sisters there to lean on each other. I'm thinking about you all.
Happy mothers day to you to, but sorry it is not a happy one....so sorry to read this again about your mom....I lost my mom 27 years ago when I was 22 and it sucked!! so yes, love her while she is here and I hope she is at least resting comfortably.
wish I could be there for you!! I am sure she is a wonderful woman to have raised such a wonderful daughter!!!
Jill from NY
I am sending you all a big air hug right now (HHHUUGG)
Praying for you Julie, I know this is tough. If you close your eyes right now...you can feel me hugging you. These decisions are tough....so I am here if you need to vent. I have walked this road and it is not a pretty or fun one.
I was in your shoes at the ripe old age of 39. My sister was 49. Mom was 69, in great health, yet had taken a serious fall and hit her head on a concrete step. Luckily, we KNEW what was expected of us, since she had spent her life stating what it was. It wasn't what my sister and I wanted of course, but it's the MOTHER'S wishes that count.
I am thinking of you and your family, and keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm sending thoughts and prayers your way, Julie.
Having been in this position with my 89 year old Mum I have to ask, are they discriminating against her due to her age? This is what happened to us.
I do not know your mother, and I may be playing devil's advocate, but PLEASE if her health and mind are otherwise not an insurmountable issue, GET a second OPINION.
We were told by the supposed best specialist in our state that she could not be operated on due to her age and osteoporousus (sp). We believed him.
Story of what happened after here:
http://meanderingmadmother.blogspot.com/2009/12/do-i-really-want-to-do-this-december-1.html
All I can say is my Mum is turning 91 in October, and is back in wonderful spirits and still living in her own home with support. She is frail, yes, but at her age that is to be expected.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, I am not trying to make it more painful, but as one who could so easily have lost her treasured Mum and did not purely through a miracle, I beg you to look further into the advice.
Oh, and my Mum was having transfusions constantly too during the months of believing it was inoperable.
Saying lots of prayers for your mom, you, and all the family. My husband's family made the "let nature take its course" choice with both of his parents and I have been through it with my dad. No really good choices in these situations.
Julie, I am so sorry to hear about your mother. As long as there is breath, there is hope. Health issues are very stressful for her as well as the family. If she still has a good mind, let her decide what she wants. I lost my mother real young, but you never lose the memories. May the good Lord touch each of you and give you strength to face what may happen. Blessings to all.
I've been praying for y'all and your mom, Julie. I also pray that you have peace about the next few days as you make decisions, etc.
You are greatly loved, and I know you are a great daughter, who honors her mother.
What timing. I have been so busy since I started following your blog, (Wife, 4 children, work, Church, health issues) that it's been a very long time since I've stopped by and I rarely comment anyway, but I wanted you to know that a family of 6 crazy people in Virginia are praying for your Mom, you and your siblings. I wish you did not have to spend it in a hospital, but I am glad you are able to spend it together.
I hope there's a breakthrough and your mom will be out of the hospital for Mother's day! If not, may it still be a special time spent together. (PS--you guys are both looking so good!)
No, no, no. You know I was in this position last summer, but my mom ended up getting well and the blood loss reason was determined and repaired. There is no way I could have told them to stop the transfusions though if it hadn't worked out favorably. I am not strong. I'm ok with that.
So with that possibility looming for you, that's something I cannot relate to. I hope you and your family have the strength to make the right decision, whatever it may be.
If you need to chat you know where I am.
Luv you Jules.
My mom is 81 and experiencing some unknown issues with her kidneys. Long story short, she's not in your mom's shoes yet, but will be sooner than later. I went through this with my father a few years back and it's very difficult. Happy Mother's Day to you as well and know that you are doing all that you can.
Sending up prayers for strength for you and your family. I know how rough this is. Warm hugs.
I've been enjoying your blog for a while and I am compelled to delurk to extend my prayers and support to you. God bless you and your family, especially that dear mother of yours.
Mandy
Has your mom given any indication of what she would want? I know many people can't talk about it, and the situation is rarely clear-cut. We'll be thinking about you and sending positive energy in your direction.
Happy Mother's Day to you too Julie! I know it will be a hard one for you with your mom in the hospital!! Praying for you and your mom!!
hey jule - sorry to hear things area rough with your mother. I'll be thinking and praying for you and her. mwa!
happy mothers day
nice pic
Hugs and prayers, my friend...
~AM
Prayers and good wishes for you. I think many of us understand exactly how you feel with parents of similar age. I hope your Mom is doing better and that any decisions you have to maek are easy one. Take Care. The photo is a gorgeous one, just beautiful.
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