Sunday, September 26, 2010
Who the hell saw this coming? Not me!
So Dr. Penny has been telling me for years...YEARS....that I have to change my thinking in order to change my life.
I hate it when that bitch is right. LOL She NEVER lets me forget it.
I finally took her advice. And I changed my perception...my thoughts...my actions. I stopped "wanting" what I didn't have, I stopped the constant barrage of negative, toxic thoughts that my marriage/divorce put into my head. I quit being "that girl", the one who was cheated on and totally fucked over by someone who was supposed to love her for the rest of her life. I stopped worrying about never being able to trust a man again, to fall in love again. Hell I even quit worrying about paying the mortgage on my condo until I found a new renter. I quit worrying about how I was going to make sure Jordan got into college...how I would afford it, etc., and how was I going to throw a going away party AND stock a dorm room with everything he needed in a month where I was paying two mortgages because I didn't have a renter? And of course, my constant fears and worries about Jordan leaving home, and my upcoming scarily empty nest.
I just stopped everything. All the negative thoughts. All the worrying. All the stressing out about stuff.
And what I started doing was thinking positively.
Living as though I had all I needed and wanted.
Being thankful for all the blessings in my life and all the blessings to come.
I started being "happy", even when I didn't feel it. Fake it til you make it, sister.
And you know what happened?
I signed the best renter for my condo, this lovely 70 years young woman (who reminds me very much of Dr. Penny herself in another 10 years!) who I pray has many healthy years ahead of her in my condo!
My son is successfully in school, and we didn't even have to pay a dime over his school loans this quarter. We had a great going away party, and I managed to find that extra $500 I needed for dorm stuff. It was "just there".
And we all know I have fallen head over heels in love with That Guy Again. With him, I am happier than I have ever been. He is such a good person, and he makes me want to be a better person than I am. The absolute best part of my day is his face first thing in the morning when I open my eyes, and the last thing I see at night. Truly, I had no idea that *this* was what being in love felt like. What being loved felt like.
My life has done a 180 in the past couple of months, and I am 100% convinced it because my thoughts, and my words, became my actions. When I lived in a constant state of fear and loss, my life was pretty sucky, I've gotta tell ya. I wasn't "living". I was just getting through the day the best I could. These days, I live in joy. I live in the positive. I have realized that I am worthy of all the wonderful things coming my way.
My God, I love my life. And I am so thankful for everything I have, and everything to come.
Do me a favor....get rid of your negative thoughts ok? There's a whole fantastic world out there just waiting on you to live it.
Thanks, Dr. Penny. I love you.