Thursday, June 30, 2011

Way to damn near scare me to death, kid.


So, I had one of the worst times of my life yesterday.

Jordan and I were outside our house, and he was leaving to go run some errands, and I was picking up the trash cans from the end of the driveway to bring back to the house (yesterday was trash day, obviously). Literally, it was like 30 seconds after he pulled out of the driveway, and I had just walked up to my house when I heard the loudest, most horrific crash sound that I have ever heard in my life. I swear it almost shook the ground, the impact was so loud.

I knew immediately it was him. Just a mother's instinct I guess. I remember saying out loud "Oh God, no."

I turned and started running and thinking "OK has he had time to get through the light?" and then "OMG, what if someone broadsided him?. It was like slow motion, as I ran the block to the end of my street.

Then suddenly the neighbor boy is in front of me yelling "Miss Julie! Your son is in a wreck!" and pointing, and I starting panicking, because I had no idea how bad it was or if he was hurt. My 50 year old body has never ran so fast, and I have never prayed so hard, because I *heard* that crash, and I knew it wasn't a fender bender.

I turned the corner and all I saw was the back end of Jordan's car, and a car in front of him turned over and totaled. As I ran that block praying, all I could think was "Just let him be okay, God. Please just let him be okay". I swear it was the oddest sense of slow motion, I felt like I was running in place, like in a dream or something, and I couldn't seem to get to him fast enough.

Finally I saw my son standing off to the side and he was clearly okay. He had been at the red light, and some idiot across from him ran the light, and T-boned some poor 16 year old kid. That boy's car flipped over and hit Jordan's car, but by the grace of God it didn't roll again, or my son would be dead right now. Or gravely injured at the least.

I stopped running before I had a heart attack (LOL), and right then the cops and the paramedics showed up (we literally are two blocks from the police and fire stations in Gahanna), and thankfully everyone involved was okay. I am not sure how that young man crawled out of that overturned car with no injuries other than two scratches on his leg but he did.

Jordan was very upset, of course, that his car had been damaged, but as I tried to make him understand, it could have been SO much worse, and the car damage can be fixed. It's just a car, for heaven's sake. He could have lost his life or been permanently injured had he pulled 2' closer to the light or had been 2' further back because the rolling car would have crushed him either during the first roll, or would have rolled a second time, but thankfully his car was in the exact right spot to stop it from rolling again.

Here's a picture from the scene, Jordan's car is the red Mustang. You can't see the damage to the front end from this picture, but compared to the other two vehicles, it's not that bad.


I had a tough time last night, I just kept hearing the sound of that crash, and that boy saying "Your son's in a wreck". It was every parents worse nightmare and I keep reliving it over and over in my head. I am so thankful that he is okay, and that nobody was injured.

But I can tell you, that 60 seconds it took me to run two blocks was the worst minute of my life. I had no idea what I was going to see when I turned the corner and I have never prayed like I did in that moment.

Then, later I had half a bottle of wine and a Xanax. LOL Sometimes Mama's gotta do what she's gotta do to cope.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Vegas bound...and this time with someone I love!


So, Honey and I are headed off to Vegas, baby!

He got two free nights at M Casino & Hotel that have to be used by the end of September, and my boss was sweet enough to give us two of his Southwest Reward tickets so our flights are free too!

AND...I get to stay at LindaLand for two nights as well as hang with Vegas Linda Lou and her hottie man.

AND THEN....turns out Dr. Penny will be there that weekend too. We've talked about going to Vegas together for 30 years and it's finally happening. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

AND ONE MORE THING....you may or may not recall from THIS POST that two years ago I went to Vegas to meet Linda Lou and our other blogging buddy Darlene (aka Travel Girl). Well guess the hell what? Darlene (and I assume her honey too!) is going to come to Vegas while we're there!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you say....OMIGOD THIS IS GOING TO BE AMAZING????????

I am so damn excited I can't stand it! Three of my favorite women on the planet, all of whom I love like sisters, are going to be with me at the same time.

That is almost as good as a multiple...well, you know. Ooooooooooooooooo.

I'm excited for Linda and Darlene to meet Michael. I'm excited to see Penny, she's been gone like 9 months now and it will be a year by the time I see her out there. I'm excited to show Michael Vegas, as he's never been. And yeah we all know it's been a loooooooooooong time since I was out there with someone I love!!!!

So the countdown is on. 103 days. Can't wait!

Monday, June 6, 2011

Bad day at Hallmark



Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day?



My tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat..

Sorry!

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Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.


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Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

'What the hell was I thinking?'


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Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.

(Boy, this card would have come in handy back when I got married!)

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How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?


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I've always wanted to have

someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ...

I've changed my mind.


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I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.

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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am....

That you're not here to ruin it for me.


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Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

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Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia )

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Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!


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When we were together,

you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise...


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We have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?


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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?


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Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.


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So your daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay

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Happy Monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!