"You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith" ~Mary Manin Morrissey
I needed to read this right now.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for 'suck here'.
Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'downunder.'
Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet, and when they go, they take your house and car with them.
Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch...
BONUS QUESTION & ANSWER
Q: What is a man's Ultimate embarrassment?
A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.
(Now that's a funny short joke!)
Friday, October 15, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
See this lovely little floating paradise? I'll be on it in 159 days!
Yes, I am spending my 50th birthday on a cruise to the Caribbean with my honey. We'll be in Costa Maya, Mexico on my actual birthday, then the next day Belize, then some islandy place in Honduras, then Cozumel, then back to our starting point of New Orleans.
I. Can't. Wait.
I've always wanted to take a cruise, and I hate to keep preaching on this whole positive thinking thing, but a couple of weeks ago I stopped "wanting" to do it, and started picturing myself on the boat. Because, according to Dr. Penny, I needed to stop focusing on why I couldn't go or haven't gone by now (too expensive, etc.) and not worry about how or why I would end up going...just see myself doing it.
Out of the blue, Michael came home last week and said he had gotten a cruise as a perk from one of the casinos he used to frequent. We just had to pay airfare to New Orleans.
Wow, I didn't see that coming! LOL
So, less than two weeks after I started changing my thoughts and seeing myself cruising the Caribbean with a drink in one hand, and my guy at my side....it's booked.
This "change your thoughts and change your life" thing is blowing my mind.
And the idea of turning 50 has just gotten so much more exciting!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
I strongly dislike menopause.
(I would have said "fucking hate" but I'm trying to clean up my language.)
I can deal with the hot flashes. I don't have that many of them, and usually they wake me up at like 3am, and I just kick all the covers off of me (and my guy, if he's there!) and let my constantly-running-on-medium ceiling fan cool me down for a minute. Hot flash over, back to sleep.
I've learned to deal with the change in my hair. What used to be thick and curly with lots of body is now much thinner, flatter and straighter. It takes work to have a good hair day.
I can even deal with the pudge. The wrinkles. The body parts that have fallen and can't get up.
But the mood swings? Sweet Jesus. They are killing me.
The good news is that I don't have a LOT of them. It's not like it's daily! But about once every couple of weeks, I'm a cranky ass bitch. EVERYBODY and EVERYTHING irritates me. I can go from sweet and nice, to wanting to gouge your eyes with toothpicks, in seconds flat.
My poor guy isn't sure how to deal with me. I have tried to explain to him that I am 49 years old, and menopause is a fact. If he can't handle the occasional mood swing, he needs to date a 29 year old instead. But be forewarned....her mood swings are called PMS.
We're women, we ALL have mood swings. Been having them since the day we were born.
It's just that, at this age, they are more erratic and less explainable!
I went on to try and explain that for me, the whole drop in estrogen/mood swing feels like when you get an X-ray and they put that big heavy thing across you to shield you from the radiation? Except that thing is like a frickin body condom that weighs you down from head to toe. You can't get out from under it, you can't smile and laugh and pretend it's not there, you just have to deal with it til it's lifted. But for about 24 hours, life isn't gonna be all sunshine and rainbows.
The good news is, at least I'm not a raving bitch.
I'm just quietly annoyed and really irritable. (OK, not always quiet about it.) (But loudly annoyed, with love. LOL)
And then, just as quickly as it started, the mood swing is over.
The sun comes up, and the smile is back on my face. My guy is safe to come over again. Everything is right with the world.
Until the next one.
I'll try and give you a heads up of when you need to don your crash helmet, ok, honey?