Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Caution....Mood Swing Ahead

I strongly dislike menopause.

(I would have said "fucking hate" but I'm trying to clean up my language.)

I can deal with the hot flashes.  I don't have that many of them, and usually they wake me up at like 3am, and I just kick all the covers off of me (and my guy, if he's there!) and let my constantly-running-on-medium ceiling fan cool me down for a minute.  Hot flash over, back to sleep.

I've learned to deal with the change in my hair.  What used to be thick and curly with lots of body is now much thinner, flatter and straighter.  It takes work to have a good hair day.

I can even deal with the pudge.  The wrinkles.  The body parts that have fallen and can't get up.

But the mood swings?  Sweet Jesus.  They are killing me.

The good news is that I don't have a LOT of them.   It's not like it's daily!  But about once every couple of weeks, I'm a cranky ass bitch.  EVERYBODY and EVERYTHING irritates me.  I can go from sweet and nice, to wanting to gouge your eyes with toothpicks, in seconds flat.

My poor guy isn't sure how to deal with me.  I have tried to explain to him that I am 49 years old, and menopause is a fact.  If he can't handle the occasional mood swing, he needs to date a 29 year old instead.  But be forewarned....her mood swings are called PMS.

We're women, we ALL have mood swings.  Been having them since the day we were born.

It's just that, at this age, they are more erratic and less explainable!

I went on to try and explain that for me, the whole drop in estrogen/mood swing feels like when you get an X-ray and they put that big heavy thing across you to shield you from the radiation?  Except that thing is like a frickin body condom that weighs you down from head to toe.  You can't get out from under it, you can't smile and laugh and pretend it's not there, you just have to deal with it til it's lifted.  But for about 24 hours, life isn't gonna be all sunshine and rainbows.

The good news is, at least I'm not a raving bitch.

I'm just quietly annoyed and really irritable. (OK, not always quiet about it.) (But loudly annoyed, with love.  LOL)

And then, just as quickly as it started, the mood swing is over.

The sun comes up, and the smile is back on my face.  My guy is safe to come over again.  Everything is right with the world.

Until the next one.

I'll try and give you a heads up of when you need to don your crash helmet, ok, honey?


Dr. Penny said...

Yikes! I must be still in MP cause I can swing back forth like that easily.....Are you sure it's not a personality glitch?? Just kiddding. Hang in, get healthy, and know that it is a process (which just means it fucking takes time to change). Sorry, babe.

Crazed Nitwit said...

I get ya. My hair used to be thicker, straighter, and more. Now it's curly, finer, and so not MY hair!!!

Lickety Splitter said...

Oh my God, PMS may kill me before I ever reach menopause. If I make it to menopause, and my lifetime of fine hair straightens into the likes of Kansas, I am going to have a serious word with my maker!

Good luck to your honey! (And you!)

gayle said...

57 and still having hot flashes. One minute I am cold and the next I'm hot!! Mood swings.....well I think that's just me!

Mellodee said...

May I just say one thing? HRT!! You don't have to take it forever, but it will help you get over the bump in the road until life levels out again!

Tana said...

Maxine the Crabby Lady from Hallmark Cards has the perfect outlook for this : Pretend that your inner child is playing with matches....Seriously, I completely understand and promise it does get time.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

At least I know what's on the horizon for me. You've got an understanding guy that's willing to ride the storms.

Anonymous said...

yup thats me but I am hot all the winter is a welcome relief from the hot summer we had that I spent in my apartment with the airconditioner on HIGH!! LOL. and since I am on medication for depression and anxiety, the mood swings aren't so bad, it keeps me on an even level (Thank God!). So welcome to the club!!
Jill from NY

Joanie M said...

I just turned 55 and Auntie Flo still makes an appearance on a fairly regular basis, with a vengeance. The last one? Two days before my beach vacation. GRRR!!! Talk about mood swings!!!

jackie said...

I loved how you discribed the whole x-ray iron bib thing. It's exactly what it feels like.

Danica said...

WElcome to my hell! LOL I'd say estrogen helps but it doesn't. :) Hang in there!