As you probably read on Facebook yesterday, Mom is back in the hospital. This time she has two kidney stones, one which is 5mm that she passed yesterday and is now in her bladder, the other is 9mm which is huge. (Actually she has a bunch of little ones in her kidney as well) This big stone is sitting on top of her ureter trying to pass, and of course that's like trying to shove a quarter into a straw so it's not going to happen. But what it's doing is blocking the urine from leaving the kidney therefore making the kidney "sweat" urine which is now going into her body and will cause her to become septic and kill her. So they have to do something to try and break it up but her options are limited considering her age and overall health. Waiting on the urologist to see her and figure out what to do. She also has two spots on her lower lung lobes that are pneumonia.
I'm torn between wanting her to survive this and wanting her to let go. I know, we all know, this is just different signs of her body shutting down. All the things that keep going wrong are part of that. I just don't want her being in pain. We were at the hospital until 12:30 and back again at 7am, and I'm so tired right now, it's so emotionally draining to go through this.
Ugh. I need a drink or 12.
Keep her in your prayers, ok? For whatever the outcome….whatever is best for her. If she needs to let go, I’m okay with it. I just don’t want her to suffer. She has said numerous times this past few weeks, she's ready to go be with Dad and my sister. And if that's what she wants, I want it for her.