Monday, June 21, 2010

I have a case of the Mondays.

Not that it was a bad weekend by any means.

Just too short.

Since my trip last month to Vegas didn't feel much like a vacation, I'm ready for another one. We are so incredibly busy at work and it's just the start of what's going to be the next four months from hell...not only several major installations in and out of the country, but we are moving our offices in September as well.


On the dating scene, I do have a "meet & greet" tomorrow evening. Seems like a very nice, normal guy. Gainfully employed, children out of the house, consistent in his words so far. So, we'll see how it goes.

I'm a little discouraged on that front. From the experiences you single ladies are having out there (and have left me comments about), to the ones I am having of my own, it seems that the number of seemingly normal, well adjusted available men is a very low one. I don't get the whole misrepresenting yourself, lying about your situation, or posting pictures that were taken 15 years and 50 pounds ago. It's going to come to light the second we meet so why bother with all the smoke and mirrors?

See, this is what kept me with my ex for the past five years. At least I *knew* him, I knew where he comes from and what he's made of and when he's lying! I knew why he was divorced and what his ex wife would say about him. (and I knew he had great taste in women, at least THIS woman. LOL) I knew his mood swings and his financial situation and knowing all these things gave me a comfort level that I don't have now. Granted, it wasn't perfect by any means and I want far more out of a relationship than what ours had morphed into, but at least I knew what I was dealing with.

I'm finding myself frustrated by either meeting guys who are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too attentive when they haven't even met me yet (good night texts are NOT necessary at that point!) or those who are interesting but can't seem to carry on a conversation to save their lives. I actually had one guy last week who had emailed me, and I responded, and we went back and forth like twice, and then I logged off because frankly, I had better things to do than sit on POF and exchanged benign banter with somebody who isn't asking me anything, but rather just exchanging trivia about himself. So he sends me another email saying "Obviously you aren't interested, since you quit responding."  For the love of God, it has been 10 minutes since my last email.  No lie!  I couldn't even respond to that.  I still can't.

I'm going into tomorrow's meeting with zero expectations. That way, there's only one way to go and that's uphill from there.

I am really just annoyed with this whole being single again and having to do this fucking dating thing. This wasn't in my plans at almost 50 years old.

Why did everything I thought my life was going to be at this age, take such a dramatic left turn? Ten years ago when I met my ex, I saw the rest of my life in the future and it looked pretty damn good. And now, it's nothing like it was supposed to be, or I thought it would be. I'm not saying it's bad, don't get me wrong. My marriage/divorce was a huge changing point in my life, and I learned a whole lot of lessons that evidently the Universe thought I needed to know. In fact I was practically beat over the head with many of them, just to drive the point home.

OK Universe, so I learned them. Now what? Any chance we can start practical application now?


Anonymous said...

Wow - you posted that 3 times - you must have really been serious!

I know it is so tough wading through the idiots. All I can say is I did meet a great guy who is who he says he is. Everything is not always perfect but there is a strong foundation to build on. I met him through a dinner club in my town (it cost $250 so weeded out some of the idiots). I also asked him out for coffee first which is against some women's rules but he was really glad I did because he had become very jaded himself.

Believe me there are lots of men out there who are fed up with women using them too. A great book to read is called "Marry Him: The Case For Settling For Mr. Good Enough." It basically speaks to how so many of us have this list of things that men must have and so many men (and women) just don't.

I wish you luck - you will find the right guy.


Annah said...

I want that shirt! :) Mondays totally suckie suck

Coffeypot said...

‘…normal, well adjusted available men…’

I think you have your expectations too high.

Because of that, men like me (if I were available) don’t stand a chance.

Danica said...

Good luck tomorrow Julie. I hope nothing but good happens at this meet and greet! I don't want to hear stories about suspenders and jail time! :-)

Ace said...

Good luck with the meet and greet. I haven't been out there in the field for 26 years, but it seems, from where I'm sitting, that email, texting, twittering, and all the rest have just complicated the crap out of something that was pretty complicated to begin with.

Dr. Penny said...

you gotta pick the right guy to complete the dream -- you had the right dream, just not the right guy.....and that, my dear, happened because of your concept of what you deserve, so if you have changed that, the right guy is around the corner....focus and show up until it happens.....and revise the man list based on what you know now.

Laura @ The Shabby Rabbit said...

I've been in this dating scene for nearly 7 years now. I"m no Raquel Welch but I'm a pretty normal chic. It is hard! Seems like if they feel chemistry I do not or visa versa.

Some folks tried to tell me I was too picky.. I was never sure what that meant, so I ignored it ;)

I know 7 years probably scares the heck out of ya... but I'll say in that whole time and lots of dates...well first dates anyway...I have never met anyone rude or overly creepy. I have met nice guys that just aren't my type.

And you know what. I"m still at it :) Broke down and joined eharmony.

Look at your meet and greet as just that, meeting a new person, getting to know someone new. I found everyone is interesting in one way or another. (even a train wreck ;) )

Let us know what happens!
Laura - the one date wonder

f8hasit said...

I know what you mean about these guys! I stopped. I had a similar situation and said, "That's it. I'm done." Bah.

As soon as I gave up Mr. Last serious relationship guy came back and turned into pretty much Mr. Perfect. But I don't want to jinz it so I'll leave it at that.

Hope it gets less frustrating!!! I feel your pain!

Vegas Linda Lou said...

Good luck at the "meet and greet"! May it be your last one. I mean that as in I hope he's fantastic and you can say R.I.P. to the dating game. I totally know what you mean about "known evils." I've been guilty of staying with a Mr. Wrong only because I dreaded facing a possible date with Mr. More Wrong. Fingers crossed for you, my friend! XOXO

Rob-bear said...

The Carpenters had it right: "Rainy days and Mondays always get me down."

Here's hoping for a change; good luck!