And when I got there, the front door was cracked open.
So I called him and said "Somebody has broken into your house! The door is open!"
And he said "Go in and see who it is."
Thanks for being concerned about my welfare, dude.
So instead I went around to the back and peeked in a window.
And then I saw him.
Yes, a drag queen had broken in and was sitting in the living room.
She was really pretty.
Not my favorite drag queen though (that's Shannel, and I will be posting about my total crush on her soon).
What? Come on, you cannot possibly be surprised that I have a favorite drag queen! Doesn't everyone?
Anyway, it wasn't Shannel. This was someone else. You know how in dreams, faces are foggy but you just know who they are? I don't know exactly who she was, just that she was a really beautiful
So I asked what she was doing there and she said she overheard me talking to my ex and knew he was out of town, so she was there borrowing a few things.
(Note: My ex doesn't have a supply of hooker heels, feather boas or sequined outfits in his closet....that I know of.)
So I called the Ex back and said "You're in luck, it's a woman. And you're really lucky she has a dick or I'd be kicking your ass right about now."
This tells me one thing.
I need to stop drinking wine and watching RuPaul's Drag Race before bed.