Monday, August 31, 2009

No Sex in the City

First things first....Jordan, if you are reading this, exit out of it now. Some things Moms and Sons do NOT need to share.



OK kids, I need to be dating. There is something MAJOR missing from my life. I don't think I need to elaborate on what it is. I think the blog title...and picture...are self explanatory.

Thing is...I miss all aspects of a relationship, but this one in particular. I've always been very...um...active in that department. And this unintentional celibacy is killing me. I'm too young to have cobwebs south of my waist!

We all know I continued dating my ex for three years after our divorce, and frankly this was one of the reasons why. The devil you know is better than no devil at all...at least it was at the time. Now that devil is no longer an option....I just can't go there no matter how bad being alone feels. Some things never change, and he's one of them.

So what is a girl to do?

I'm not a booty call kind of gal. Don't get me wrong, there are more than a few ex's that I wasn't insane enough to marry who would gladly oblige me. But at this age, I'm not looking for just a good time. I'm looking for someone to share good times with.

It's just so hard to meet men. I'm on a free dating website...mostly for blog fodder....and frankly there hasn't been anyone on there recently that I've talked to on there who interests me enough to actually get all glammed up and meet. And after the last two that I did meet...yeah, one might say there are plenty of fish in the sea, but are there any real men?

This weekend I considered Match.com or eHarmony, but I've tried that before right after my divorce, and frankly I wasn't impressed there either.

Sigh.

Give me some ideas here. All my friends are married, so all of their friends are married. I don't meet many single straight guys at work, and the last time I did I married him and we all know how successful *that* was. I don't go to church, so I'm not going to meet a nice single guy there. I'm not into the bar scene, and clearly Fed Ex may guarantee delivery by 10:30am but they aren't bringing what I need.

So, single bloggers...where do you go to meet people to date? C'mon, help a sister out here. Know any single guys 40 to early 50's in or around Columbus, Ohio? Got an uncle you forgot to mention to me?? A cute and single brother-in-law? Tians.sis, can you please send Johnny my way? He's soooooooooooo damn cute! I'll take good care of him, I promise. Really, really good care. Mindblowing care. LOL I'll send that boy back home cryin for his mama.

And no, in case you are wondering, I don't need new batteries. I have rechargeable ones. LOL

As my BFF Elizabeth says...I need to break the seal! HELP!!!!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Sunday Rewind - The Interview

Taking a blogging day off to enjoy the cool weather here in Ohio today. Hope you enjoy this rewind from January. Happy Sunday!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Joining the Interview Bandwagon....

Yep, I've been interviewed and I know you are all just dying to read it. So thanks to my bloggirlfriend (that's my new word I just made up, like it?) Binks , I submit her burning questions and my direct yet witty answers.

1) My friend Shelle says that it is bad manners to talk on your phone in the bathroom. You recently wrote that you are never without your iPhone, even in the bathroom. What exactly are you doing on the iPhone in there? What is the last application that you added?


Well, it's true that I never go anywhere without my iPhone. My sister gives me shit about this constantly. "Why do you have to have that thing with you every second of the day?" The short answer is...because I can! Usually in the bathroom, I check mail, or I may be in the midst of a text conversation with someone and frankly, they can't hear you peeing via text so it's not really "rude" to engage in the two activities at once. Although I have been known to actually pee while talking on the phone to my BFF Elizabeth, but she does the same to me so we're both fine with it! Just pretend I'm standing near a waterfall if it bothers you. Oh, and the last application I added was "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire". I love trivia anything. And, I want to be a millionaire.

2) My sister is 49 and divorced. She is looking to start dating too. Do you have any pointers for her and where the hell do you meet men?


Oh honey, I am NOT the person to take dating advice from! The last time I went out on more than one date with someone, I married the guy and we all know how well that worked out for me. And you've seen the kind of men I attract on dating sites, so trust me, this question is better posed to my friend VegasLindaLou. She's doing much better being divorced and dating than I am! I want to be her when I grow up.

3) Jill seemed to think that people would be interested in shoe sizes. What size shoe do you wear? How many pairs of shoes do you have and approximately how old is the oldest pair of shoes in your closet?


Hahaha...I don't have shoes, I have foot yachts. My feet are a size 11. (Hey, I'm 5'9", give me a break!) If flip flops count as shoes, I probably have 60 pair in my closet. If they don't, then I have about 30 pair of actual shoes. My oldest ones are about 10 years old, they are sandals that I can't bear to throw out!

4) As I mentioned before, my sister is single and has been divorced for 15 years. I bought her a sex toy for her birthday once. What is the strangest gift you've ever received? Did you like it and do you still have it?


Wow, I have to think about this. I've never really gotten any strange gifts. (But if anyone wants my address, email me. I'm open to accepting them!) I guess the strangest one would have been a fire extinguisher from a guy I was dating. I don't know if he was trying to tell me I was too horny, or just making me prepared in case of emergency, but he didn't last long after that.

5) Dating is hard. Dating later in life seems extremely hard. Can you tell us about your best date ever? How about the worse? How about the most embarrassing thing to happen on a date?


It's funny, I really don't have a "best date" that jumps out in my mind. I'm sitting here actually wracking my brain trying to think of one! I can tell you my worst date easily. About 6 months after my divorce, I attempted to go out on a date with some guy I met on the Internet. He seemed nice enough, so I agreed to dinner at PF Changs. The guy showed up, and clearly his profile picture had been taken about 100 lbs ago. He had on this very 70's brown cordaroy jacket, and when he took it off he was actually wearing SUSPENDERS. I'm thinking already that I'm going to eat and run. So we sit down to dinner, and the waiter takes our drink orders and he says "Well, I rarely drink...so I'll just have a double Grey Goose on the rocks". Huh? FIVE double Grey Gooses later, I'm thinking gee, I believe what he meant to say was "Well, I rarely drink...less than a bottle in one sitting". He ordered three appetizers and proceeded to eat 99% of them by himself, he ate all of his dinner and what part of mine that I didn't eat, and as I'm sitting there thinking "Thank God the meal is over and I can run", he orders coffee and desserts. Two of them. And again, eats most of them. And during the meal, I find out that he had been in prison for two years for trafficking something out of Amsterdam (it was a mistake you know, he didn't really do it, his ex-wife set him up) and he has no credit and is driving a rental car for some reason he couldn't really explain...and at this point I'm about to do the "bathroom ditch" thing! Finally the long excrutiating meal was over, and he wanted to walk me to my car (which I politely refused) and he tried to grab me and come in for a kiss, which I completely ducked and twirled out of! I shook his hand, said thanks, and ran....and I have not dated since!

So there you have it. Now I believe the rules of this game are that if you want to be interviewed by me, leave me a comment and tell me. Unfortunately, because I'm so damn busy with work right now, I do not have time to do individual interviews but I will have a general list of questions ready! So let me know if you want to be interviewed by me!!!!


Saturday, August 29, 2009

Child Support Needed

No, there is no PayPal link on my blog! LOL

Go visit my kid's blog today, will ya? He's finally updated it, and he's got some news. You guys always support me, so give him a little bloggy love too ok?

Since he doesn't have any updated pictures I'll put one here so you can see how great he looks since his weight loss:



Speaking of pictures, did I ever post this? I think you can click on it and see a bigger picture. Look how cute my little blonde baby was. Hard to believe he's a bald adult now. Still just as cute...and still my baby though!!!!



No big plans for the weekend, other than cleaning house. Wait, that's not a plan, that's a duty. Sigh. Why is house cleaning a never ending thing? And why wasn't I born with that Bewitched power to twitch my nose and voila....everything in it's place?

Two weeks from today I'll be back in Vegas, this time with my boss and my co-worker. That will be lots of fun. And, I get to hang with my buddy Linda Lou which makes it even better!!!!!!

Off to get my exercise in for today. Tell me your big weekend plans....let me live vicariously through you!



Friday, August 28, 2009

Is there a "y'all" at the end of hostile?

So the other day I did a blog post about Paula Deen being President. One of my long time readers from Georgia (you know who you are, but to protect you in this instance I won't mention names) sent it to me via email because she knows my love of ATP (All Things Paula).

Like many emails I get, I blogged about it. There was no link or reference in the email that stated it had previously been posted on another blog, or I'd have given credit where credit is due. Nor did it seem to make sense to preface the post with "Hey, my friend Susie got this from her friend Sally who forwarded it from Debbie who forwarded it from Kathy who got it from Kelly....blah blah blah". It was an email, for heaven's sake. We all get many joke emails a day. Do you know the origination of every one that you get?

Then I received a comment on the post from a person who owns a blog saying I was stealing from her and violating her copyright, etc.

I wrote to this person and apologized and said that I had received it in an email, thought it was funny and blogged about it. (For the record, while it was amusing, it needed tweaking, so I added my own comments to the end of it as well.) I offered to link back to their site, or remove it entirely.

Frankly, I was thinking to myself, you might wanna take me up on the link back offer. Nobody should turn down free advertising!

The response I received was rather surprising. It started out with "Greetings" then quickly turned to calling me a liar about how I received the information (that it did not come via email but rather I went to the site and stole it), continued with accusing me of taking credit for work that wasn't mine (which I never did) and ended with veiled threats of being sued for claiming something as my own that isn't.

Wow. Hostile!

I really didn't mean to piss anybody off with it. I just thought it was a mildly cute thing to post. Funny thing is, if someone posted one of my blogs on their site, I'd have been flattered that they thought it was entertaining enough to use, and would have simply written them an email saying "Hey, that's my original post, please make sure you say that on your blog or link back to me."

(Except for that time when the Bike Smut guys posted part of my discussion with the exercise bike. To their credit, they did link back to me, but unfortunately I really didn't want my blog being associated with bicycle porn! I send them a nice email asking them to remove it and they did.)

Getting all whipped up about an honest mistake really isn't necessary. Especially when this could have been turned into an advantage for the other blogger. I have lots of followers and tons of daily readers who probably would have gotten a kick out of his/her blog, if I'd linked to it instead of deleting the post altogether.

Funny thing is, in looking at his/her site, they put a link at the end of every post that says "E-Mail To A Friend". So I'm thinking to myself...if you don't want people emailing your blog posts to others, thus opening yourself up for it being copied elsewhere....you might want to remove that link!

And I have to wonder....does the owner of that site have written permission from Paula Deen to use an image of her and draw a mustache on it, as her blog header?? Or from Racheal Ray who has horns drawn on her head? I see numerous pictures in their blog posts that have clearly been taken from other sources. C'mon, who thinks this blogger is Paula Deen's personal photographer? So wouldn't using someone else's photographs on your blog (especially stock photos such as the ones in the header which can be found all over the web) be stealing as well? Isn't that just what he/she accused me of doing?

And then I saw it.

The link asking for Paypal donations to help with the web hosting fees on this site. LOL...that's the funniest thing I've ever seen!!!! Hell, who knew it was appropriate to solicit your readers for money to keep your blog online? I average 7,000 blog hits a month. If you'd all send me a dollar every time you visit my blog, I can quit my job and do this for a living!!!! My blog would be SO MUCH MORE FUN if you guys would just support me financially while I write it.

I'm still laughing at that. It takes some pretty big cajones to ask your readers to "donate" to your blog. Wow. Seriously, who does that? And would you even read a blog that did??

So anyway....I have removed the infamous Paula Deen post from my blog.

If you want to read more, the link to that site is....oh wait, I don't want to get sued for posting the blog address without permission. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL


Thursday, August 27, 2009

The American Idols Tour. Or, the I love Glambert hour.

So, Tuesday night I went to the American Idols 2009 Tour.

Supposedly there were 10 people performing.

I only saw one.

OK I saw the rest, but they were so unimpressive that they didn't register on my radar as actually "seeing" them. They were pretty insignificant.

I took my sister Patty for her birthday.



We had great seats. Fifth Row Center.



First up was Michael Sarver. Boring. Packed on some weight this tour, though.



Then Megan Joy. Megan, sweetie....Foxy Brown called and wants her afro back. And she's pissed that you bleached it white.



Next up was Lil Rounds, I think. The girl can sing, but she was way over-blinged. She was all about the rhinestones.



After that, I don't remember what order the rest were in, but here's the blind guy, Anoop Dog, and that other dude. Matt somebody. I dunno.





Then they all tried in vain to entertain with dueling pianos and a number featuring all of the bottom six finishers.





Mercifully, the first half came to a close.

The second half of the show started with Allison playing the guitar and screeching like a banshee. She butchered "Barracuda" by my beloved Heart. Not cool. I loved her voice on the show, but last night, all she did was scream. And it wasn't pretty. The colors behind her were though.



Then came Danny Gokey. He's cute in a "trying way too hard to be a performer" way. Unfortunately he lost big points with me for singing a song that brings back really bad memories for me related to my ex and the whore who helped break up my marriage, so since I had to endure that, he only gets one picture here as well.



Then....came the reason I bought tickets to the damn show in the first place.

Glambert.

I'm gonna try to upload the video of his opening song "Whole Lotta Love". Some parts are hard to see because of the ass on front of me. Literally. This stupid bitch fellow concert goer decided she needed to stand on her chair while he was on stage, because evidently from the 4th row she couldn't see up his frickin nose. I asked her politely three times to get down and stop standing on the chair because her ass was so big you could NOT see around it. The fourth time I grabbed her, pulled her down and said "If you stand up in front of me again, I will send you flying onto the guy in front of you with a massive shove, and security will then throw your ass out and solve my problem for good". How freaking rude. You're in the fourth goddamn row, you are 35 if you're a day, he's ignoring you, AND HE'S GAY. He isn't going to fuck you backstage after the show. So sit your "Marry me Adam" screaming, blue extension streak in your hair, I Love Glambert t-shirt wearing ass down and watch the damn show like the rest of us.

Sorry, got off on a tangent there! It still pisses me off that someone could be that rude!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, back to the video, so I will try to upload it here. Meanwhile, here's some photos for your viewing pleasure.







Oh yeah, and the guy who won was there too. Talk about irrelevant. Poor guy, having to take the stage after Adam. He was about as exciting as soggy bread. I almost forgot to even take his picture. I felt bad for him though. You have to understand, the place erupted when Adam came out. Up until then, it was mild applause at best. No screaming fans. And then for Chris Allen (that is his name, right? This guy who won?) to come out after women are throwing bras and panties on the stage and screaming like 14 year olds....you'd have thought the audience turned into 15,000 nursing home residents. And he lulled everyone to sleep with three slow songs. Way to buzz kill the high energy from Adam, dude....



Oh well, doesn't look like the video is going to load. Sorry. Just trust me, I have every song he did. He was well worth the price of admission

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Wax On, Wax Off. Yeah, right.



All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal for years. The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and especially...do-it-yourself waxing.

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, watch some TV. Then I had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.'

So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. No, really. I am!

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,' yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works!

OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me!

I am SheRah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After pouring myself another glass of wine, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted.

I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay conscious. Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!

There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax.

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something.

So I put my foot down.

Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop.

My head may pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax?

Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand, into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

*WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub....in scalding hot water.

Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter. 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me.

She wants to know exactly where the wax is located,'Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?'

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the neighbors, and scared the shit out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.

IT WORKS!!

I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Wax on, wax off. Yeah, right. Next time I'll go to a professional.




Monday, August 24, 2009

Due to lack of interest....

Today's blog post has been cancelled.

By the way, the lack of interest is mine. I've just got nothing to say. I'm swamped at work, I don't have time to read anyone else's blogs, and I feel really disconnected right now.

Don't worry, I'll be back when I feel like I have something to entertain you with.

Just not today.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

The Birthday Girl and a very odd thing.

Thursday was my Mom's 85th birthday. We had a little birthday party for her at my sister's house.

This is Mom with my sisters Patty and Sue Ellen, and of course yours truly:



And here's Mom and her favorite daughter.



OK the oddest thing just happened while I was sitting here typing this. I was looking at the picture of me with my mom and sisters and thinking to myself that I will never get used to seeing us without my sister Linda. There is just an empty space in every photo where she should be.

Suddenly I started hearing the Ohio State fight song! Mind you, Linda was a huge Buckeye fan....

Two years ago I ended up with a pair of Brutus Buckeye infant slippers that you squeeze it's head and it plays the fight song. (Don't ask, it's a long story how and why I have them!) These things have been in a bag in my computer room for well over a year now, and the bag is just sitting on the floor.

That's where the song was coming from. Nobody is in the computer room, nothing fell on the bag, there is no reason for that to suddenly start playing.

Except that maybe, Linda just let me know that she's here. Maybe not in the picture...but still here in my life.

Thanks, sis. I needed that today.


Friday, August 21, 2009

Cash for Clunkers?

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull. But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst part.

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.

CASH FOR CLUNKERS...........I QUALIFY

How about You?

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Weigh In Day! And Happy Birthday, Mom!

Are y'all sick of hearing about this yet? Just remember, you love me even when I'm high fiving myself! And don't forget, if you go back and read my very first post in April 2008, I started this blog in part to be accountable for trying to lose weight and get healthy. Yeah it took me a year to get started...but at least I'm doing it now.

Anyway...on to the important news!

This week's weigh in...down 2.9 lbs! Yay!!! Here's my new total...




I've lost 4.5" off my boobs, 4.5" off my waist, 4.5" off my hips (do we see a pattern here?) and 1 3/4" off my upper arms. Oh, and 2 dress sizes.

I was so excited, today I could fit into my Divorce Pants!

Four years ago, during the Summer from Hell when I was separating and divorcing, I lost 30 lbs in about 6 weeks from the stress. I bought this pair of really cute jean capris, but needless to say by the time the following summer rolled around, I had gained it all back and they didn't fit. So they've been hanging in my closet ever since.

When I started Weight Watchers on April 9th, I tried those pants on, with a goal of fitting into them before summer was over. Every couple of weeks I've tried them on to gauge where I was in my goal.

This morning I saw them hanging there and thought I'd give it a shot and see if they were getting close. Last time I tried them on, I could pull them up as long as I slathered my thighs with vaseline but couldn't button or zip.

As I pulled them on today and they slid up my body easily I was like "hmmmmm...?" and then voila...they snapped and zipped with no problem!

I was so psyched!

I wore them to work and was prancing all around like the closet supermodel I am. Work it, girl! Haha

I'm a size 16 again! I can go into regular stores and buy things! Yay!!!!!

And...I've done it slow and healthy. I'm proud of me!

Still got a ways (weighs?) to go until I'm a size 12. That's my true goal.

But damn, I'm halfway there! Size 20 gone. Size 18 gone.

Size 16. Check.

But not for long.

Oh...and by the way, today is my Mom's 85th birthday. I'll post pictures about it tomorrow. Happy birthday Mommy...I love you dearly.


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Ooh, I wanna take a bite out of that!

So evidently the new trend these days is Divorce Parties complete with Divorce Cakes.

Now, I had neither back on September 28, 2005. But I did drink that day. In fact I haven't stopped drinking since....

Makes you wonder how a woman can celebrate this long, doesn't it? LOL

Anyway, too bad I didn't have one of these at the time! Kim, if you are reading this, I think you can corner the market with your cake decorating skills on this idea!!!!

Enjoy!











Monday, August 17, 2009

Is it possible to still have that "happily ever after"?

One of my readers commented last week and asked me what I thought about this:

At our age, is it still possible to have that "happily ever after"?

She said:

I am just 50 and have been in serious/not so serious relationships since my divorce [almost] ten years ago. I am (in my own mind and have also been told) attractive, financially stable, sweet, decent, sexy, etc. A good catch perhaps? Truthfully, I suppose that is true. I am not the helpless "I need a man" whining type. Nor, do I depend on a man to fulfill me or to "make" me happy. I have good relationships with family and friends. I like my life. Perhaps the best way of summing up my relationship potential is to state that the men I have had serious relationships are still good friends.

So ------- I hear this a lot. Do you?

- don't settle
- you deserve a man who treats you like a queen
- someone is out there who is just for you

Truly I am a realist. I am not counting on having a relationship. I am not counting on someone to grow old with. I am not counting on anything. I am merely wondering if it's even possible. I am incredibly curious about this.

At age 50 we have lived life. The men I know have lived their lives. We have scars. We have had experiences; good and bad. We have raised our children. We've lived independently for a while. With all of this:

- is it realistic to think that we can put past experience behind us and choose to love again?
- is it realistic that a man of my age would even have the desire to put me and our relationship as the focus of their life?
- are there even any men like that out there?
- do marriages happen at this age?
- is it realistic to think that good late-in-life relationships occur? work? last?

I wonder if at this time in my life I should just share sex/companionship/conversation with a man and leave it at that? Have no further expectations?

As I said before, I am happy now with life as it is but smart enough to realize that a good relationship would enhance my life. I just want to know the reality of later in life relationships; if they even exist. And if they do, what they are like.

Sincerely, Single in Cali.


Dear Single:

God, I hope it's possible. If not, I'm going to be really disappointed.

Like you, I am (or so I'm told) attractive, sweet, funny, sexy, and while I may not be rolling in the dough, I am paying the bills and able to buy the occasional Coach purse, or travel to visit my blogging buddies in other states. (Watch out, Paula. I'm looking for a passport stamp. You and Germany are next!)

And like you, I do hear the same things from my friends. I shouldn't settle for less than what I want in my next relationship. I deserve to be treated like a queen after being run over by the bus that was my ex-husband. And yes, I always hear "Mr. Right is out there, and he'll come along when you aren't looking."

Well, when do I stop looking?

What is the time limit from my last date til when I officially give up all hope? Is there a countdown clock going on somewhere that every time I go out on yet another prospective partner job interview date, it resets itself and just waits for me to give up all hope on finding that guy that I could care enough about to give 'happily ever after' one more shot?

And when I do finally give up, and accept that I may be alone for the rest of my life...how soon does Dr. Right finally drive up in his Porsche? (I'm being sarcastic...FYI)

Yes, I have baggage. My marriage wasn't always easy, and my divorce broke my heart. And thanks to the way it ended, I will probably have a really, really hard time trusting a man again. But I am willing to try.

I'm ready. And I think it is realistic to believe that there are men out there who are willing to put their own past experiences behind them and fall in love again too.

Now, that being said...I sure haven't found one yet!

But here's the thing, everybody's experiences are different. My bloggy friend CCD had a divorce every bit as horrific as mine (and more so), and she's happily in love and getting married again. But then again, another of my blogging buddies just broke up with her boyfriend who I thought she'd be with forever. I know a lot of my readers are single again and some have gone on and found great guys, and others are in our same position...wondering if there really is someone out there for us.

I don't "need" a man. But I want one really badly. I just miss everything about the concept. I miss having a partner, a best friend, a lover, a companion. I miss being special to another person.

So to answer your question, yes I think later-in-life relationships exist, and they can be very good. I have seen it happen! I try very hard to be positive about it, and in the meantime, while I wait for whoever-he-is to find his way into my life, I am doing things for ME. Taking care of myself, my health, my finances, etc. Learning to be happy with me, so that I don't ever feel like it takes a man to give me that happiness.

But don't take my word for it. My readers have tons of experience in this area. So I am asking them to let us both know their experiences with life after divorce, and relationships at this age....

Readers....do YOU believe it's still possible to have 'happily ever after' once you're past 45?

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Sunday Rewind - The ABC Game

Off to enjoy the 90 degrees and hot sun that Ohio has to offer today! So let me entertain you with a rewind from January called "The ABC Game". Happy Sunday!


Monday, January 19, 2009


OK, I'll play the ABC Game...and you should too!


Yeah, I'm this hard up for blogging material. So I give you...The ABC Game.

A. Attached or single? Can't "divorced" be an option to check? I hate "single". I'm 47 years old, for God's sake. It makes me sound like an old maid. At least saying "divorced" tells the world at one point in my life, somebody loved me enough to marry me!

B. Best friend? Yup-3 of them. The best girl friends that I could ever ask for!

C. Cake or pie? If chocolate is involved...both. If not, probably pie.

D. Dog or cat? Dogs, two Yorkies. Gracie and Griffin.

E. Essential item? I don't go anywhere without my iPhone. Even the bathroom.

F. Favorite color? Black.

G. Gummy bears or worms? Neither. I am not a Gummy Gal.

H. Hometown? I consider Logan, Ohio to be my hometown. I was born in Portmouth but moved when I was 9 to Logan, and that's where my good memories are.

I. Favorite indulgence? Monthly massage.

J. January or July? July definitely. January is my month-from-hell because of closing year end.

K. Kids? Jordan. He's my child, but he's not a kid anymore.

L. Life isn’t complete without? My family and friends.

M. Marriage date? September 20, 2003.

N. Number of brothers and sisters? 3 sisters, no brothers.

O. Oranges or apples? I like both but right now I'm on an oranges kick.

P. Phobias? BIRDS. Alive or dead.

Q. Quote? "If I looked like Halle Berry I wouldn't need a man. All I'd need is a candle, a glass of wine and a full length mirror."

R. Reasons to smile? I get a pretty good laugh out of most of Deb & Jill's comments. They are every bit as warped as I am.

S. Season of choice? Summer.

T. Travel dreams? I love anywhere there's ocean and sand. But I want to take a cruise this year, and ultimately go the usual places like Paris, London, somewhere in Ireland, and naturally, anyplace tropical.

U. Unknown fact about me? My clothes hang in my closet all facing to the left, and by color. Oh, and by style. Shirts, then sweat shirts, then jeans, then other pants, then within those styles they are grouped by color. I know, I know. Don't even say how weird this is.

V. Vegetable? Other than the "normal" ones, I love artichoke hearts. And brussels sprouts.

W. Worst habit? I can be verrrrrrrrrrrrry lazy.

X. X-ray or ultrasound? Well I haven't had an ultrasound since 1990 and don't foresee ever having one again (at least not regarding a baby!) so I guess X-ray.

Y. Your favorite restaurants? Buca di Beppo, Outback, Old Bag of Nails...depends on type of food!

Z. Zodiac sign? Aries

Friday, August 14, 2009

What a difference 54 years makes!

In 1955 they said....

"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20."

"Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2000 will only buy a used one."

"If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous."

"Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?"

"If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."

"When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage."

"Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls."

"I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying 'damn' in 'Gone With The Wind,' it seems every new movie has either "hell" or "damn" in it.

"I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas."

"Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the president."

"I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."

"It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet."

"It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work."

"Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more; those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat."

"I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business."

"Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress."

"The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on."

"There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel."

"No one can afford to be sick any more; $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood."

"If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it."