Thursday, July 31, 2008

Wow! Someone from Germany is reading my blog!

How cool is that? When I installed my counter, I also got the ability to track who visits and from where. I had somebody from England already, and of course I have Canada, and there have been people from states where I don't even know anybody, so that's really cool. But today, there was a German visitor! So here goes..

Hallo! Willkommen! Ich hoffe Sie genie├čend, meine Geschichte lesend. Wieder bald zur├╝ckgekommen! Auf Wiedersehen!!!

For my non-German speaking friends, I hope that says "Hello! Welcome! I hope you enjoying reading my blog. Come back again soon! Goodbye!!!" However, it's my luck that it says something like "Hello! Welcome! Look, there is a one legged chicken attacking a midget stripper! Goodbye!"

Hormones on the loose.

What the hell is wrong with me today??? I'm a hot mess!

I went to bed at 9:30 last night after taking a muscle relaxer to try and loosen my neck up and I got a really good nights sleep, but I remember having dreams about my ex and my son getting into it, and me being right back in the middle where I always was. Only this time I didn't wait for him to cheat on me, I just got me and my kid the hell out of there. LOL

Anyway, so by the time I was getting ready for work this morning and was putting my makeup on, I started thinking about my sister, Linda. I miss her as much today as I did the day she died, 4 years ago. It's true that time helps (I can't say it heals, but it helps) and while I think about her every single day, I don't cry about it. But for some reason this morning, all I could think about was when she died, and me doing the eulogy, and remembering how I sang "The sun will come out tomorrow..." because she would always break into that song when someone was having a bad day. And the next thing you know, I'm crying in the mirror and mascara is running everywhere. Geesh.

So I get my act together and drive to work, and right before I get into downtown, the song "Neither One of Us" by Gladys Knight and the Pips comes on. I used to torture myself with that song when my marriage was ending, and here 3 years later as I hear it on the radio, I start crying again! And yet, I couldn't manage to turn it off.

Lord.

I am SO not watching that freaking lion reunion video today, or I'll be a blubbering idiot.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Pain in the neck.

Yep, I've got one.

I've either been sleeping weird for several weeks now, or it's just my usual "compensating for my back hurting by walking/standing/sitting funny", but I've got the stiffest, sorest neck in town. I went to the chiropractor today and he could barely get it to adjust. My chiropractor knows me too well...

So have you been doing that "wild sex with hair pulling" thing again??

Um. No. Dammit. Just crack me and stop talking about the good old days. At this point I haven't had sex in so long I forget who gets tied up.

(For the record, he used to treat my ex as well, and it was a running joke when we'd both have to go in to see him that it was a result of bedroom gymnastics!)

I know I sit weird at work. My keyboard is too far away (I type with my arms extended), my eyes look down towards my monitor, and I know I slump in my chair. I need to rearrange things on my desk to make it more ergonomic friendly. And I really need my neck muscles to loosen up. I feel like someone has their hands wrapped around my throat right now. (And no, Dr. Wade, that's not a "wild sex with choking" thing either!)

And then I drive with my right arm resting on the little box storage thing between the seats, and my left hand on top of the wheel, while I'm leaning towards the right. Evidently I think I'm cool. Or pimp. If I had some rap blaring from the radio it would complete my look. (Go ahead, laugh at the visual. I am.)

And of course, I sleep in odd positions these days. It's funny, I slept alone basically for 40 years before I met my ex-husband, (ok well, let's just say I didn't have a lot of long term bed mates...but there were a few spending the night here and there! LOL!) and it took me a little while to get adjusted to having a partner in bed with me every single night. Then after our divorce, it took me a long time to readjust to sleeping alone again after 4 years. (2 married, 2 dating) You would think it would have been pretty easy to fall back into sleeping by myself, but it really wasn't. Sometimes it still isn't. Sometimes I still prop a pillow behind my back when I'm laying on my side because it feels like he's curled up behind me. (Wow, that just sounded really pathetic but I'm leaving in there anyway because it's the truth!) Regardless, a lot of times I have to put a pillow between my knees, or if I happen to be laying on my back (which I don't often do not only because it hurts, but because I snore and keep myself awake!) I put one under my knees, which somehow ends up making my neck hurt.

And I wonder why I can't sit comfortably for a 2 hour movie at the theater anymore? Christ, if anything more starts to hurt, I'm going to end up being held together with duct tape and spackle.

In other news...

Hell, who am I kidding? I haven't got any other news. My life is all glamour, isn't it?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Duggar's are having Baby #18

So we had this discussion on The Nest about the Duggars, the family who has 17 children and evidently is now pregnant with the 18th one.

If you don't know who they are, here is a little blurb from their website:

Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar married July 21st, 1984. At that time, they chose to use the birth control pill. They thought, “We don’t want children right now. We can’t afford them. We want children in our timing, when we’re ready.” Four years later they decided to have their first child. Then, Michelle went back on the pill, but she conceived and had a miscarriage. At that point they talked with a Christian medical doctor and read the fine print in the contraceptives package. They found that while taking the pill you can get pregnant and then miscarry. They were grieved! They were Christians! They were pro-life! They realized that their selfish actions had taken the life of their child. They prayed and asked God to forgive them, and to teach them to love children like He loves children. They asked God to bless them with as many children as He saw fit in His timing. Right after that Michelle got pregnant with twins! To date they have been blessed with 17 children, (10 boys and 7 girls) Joshua, Jana & John-David (twins), Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jedidiah & Jeremiah (twins), Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah, Jennifer (and #18 due in January 2009!).


Several thoughts came to my mind....

First of all, the husband's name is Jim Bob. Enough said.

Second, when are they going to stop this insanity? When her uterus falls out, or they run out of "J" names?

Third, who are they kidding, those kids are raising each other! Because evidently Mom and Dad are too busy doing the horizontal bop in an effort to add more tax deductions.

I really just pray that woman runs out of eggs soon.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Oh and we got a Wii Fit!

OMG, got the Wii Fit Saturday. LOVE LOVE LOVE it.

I have never laughed so hard as when I put my weight in, and my girl avatar (who looks like me) blew up and got fat!!!!!!!!!!!!! Funniest thing ever.

Oh, and my Wii Fit age is...49. And I'm 47. I'm actually pleased with that, I was fairly sure it would say my fit age was 60 or something.

And then I promptly worked out for an hour! LOVED IT!

Sunday = Nascar Nation

OMG.

Here are the words that come to mind in describing my first Nascar race. And no offense to my friends who love Nascar...aka Cheri and Kathy...as none of the following apply to you, except maybe the part about the driver's shirts.

1. Redneck hell
2. Mullet mania
3. Lots of tattoos
4. Not a lot of teeth
5. Rabid fans. And I mean rabid. Some actually foamed at the mouth.
6. EVERYONE has a shirt with a driver's name or number on it. Everyone but us, that is. I was feeling pressured to draw a #20 on mine just to fit in.
7. Tube tops on women who have entirely too much to tube.
8. The Deliverance music playing in my head
9. Long lines at the beer stand...at 8am.

It was a definite experience! Don't get me wrong, it wasn't bad...it was just different. I'm used to going to CART/Indy car races and people are not, shall I say, as "supportive" of their favorite drivers. LOL

My ex had gotten free tickets from his Sprint rep, and they were supposed to be the really good ones...suite and pit passes, box seats, etc., so we figured...what the hell. We left Columbus at 5am to drive over to Indy, got to the track at 8:30, and basically had 6 hours til kill until race time! Turns out, we did not get the good tickets, we just had seats in the North Vista which is the middle of turns three and four. Ugh. Probably would not have gone if we'd known that in advance!

There was a pre-race concert with the Charlie Daniels band and Craig Morgan, and that was interesting. Walked a lot, I'd say we logged about 10 miles on our tennis shoes. My legs feel it today, trust me. It was the one weekend day that I wished for clouds (usually I want it nice and sunny for the pool!) but alas...not a freaking cloud in sight, which meant it was VERY HOT all day. At least there was an occasional breeze. But it was a long and hot day and I was never so happy to get home and into a shower and bed.

All in all, I can say that I would never pay to go to another race like this, but if we got free tickets again that that were the good ones we were expecting, I would consider it. But sitting out in the masses, in the hot sun, and trying to find any place shady to cool off...not really my idea of a good time. But, if nothing else, it was great people watching!



****************************************

Oh wait! I forgot the best story of them all! One of my Nesties just reminded me of it when she asked if I saw the girls flashing for beer.

Yes, I saw flashing.

There was this "hot mama" in her Daisy Dukes and teeny tiny tube top (if there is such a thing on a 300 lb woman) who attempted to bend over and kiss the bricks. Well, she bent over from the waist (bless her heart, I think she believed she could actually reach the bricks that way) and the view from the rear was scary enough for those of us who happened to be behind her, and I did not think it could get worse until the moment when her massive chesticles flew out of the tube top and hit the bricks before the rest of her did. Now, THAT was a sight.

Imagine that view....Bahama Mama is bent over, legs spread, Daisy Dukes riding up the crack of her 300 lb ass, and suddenly two massive boobs hit the ground between her legs.

Collectively about 300 people spewed beer all at once.

She, of course, stood upright and swung those bad boys around, since her top had rolled down around her waist anyway! I'm not sure if she was cooling them off from the brick burn or what.

Yeah, I can't make this shit up.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Wow, best Friday night ever.

And I never left the house!

But what made it great was that when my son got home from his Friday night out, we inadvertantly ended up having an hour long talk about some things that we had long needed to discuss. And it reaffirmed what I've known for 17 1/2 year now...that I have the greatest kid ever, and am so blessed to be his Mom.

Jordan and I went through a lot of crap in my marriage. He never liked my ex, but he wanted me to be happy, and he knew that his days having to live under the same roof with him were limited...as Jordan said "I knew I had about 5 years til graduation, til I went off to college and started my own life, and I knew I could hang in there until then". So we talked a lot about the situation, about his fear that I will get back with my ex once he's gone off to LA to film school, and I'm here alone...he's afraid Ex will prey on me and get back in when I'm most vulnerable.

We talked about how bad things were during the marriage for both of us, and how I tried to make it okay for him but I was constantly torn between the two people I loved most in the world...my son and my husband. I told him how I had every material thing in the world that a girl could want...beautiful home, nice cars, diamonds, designer everything, money in the bank, investments...I didn't want for anything, and I could spend money and not worry about it (after being a single mom for 12 years and living paycheck to paycheck, to have thousands in the bank and not have to worry about money was a really wonderful feeling!) And yet, it was the most miserable time of my life. Because if you know me, you know that I am not a materialistic person. I didn't need a 3 1/2 carat wedding ring...I'd have been happy with a gold band and a man who honored marriage and commitment the way I did. I needed to be married to someone who loved my child like he was his own, and respected the way I'd raised him for the first 12 years of his life, and supported me in how I raised him until he went out on his own.

I told Jordan that I have a lot of guilt about putting him into a situation that turned out so badly, and that I hope he knows I never, ever meant to allow him to be hurt. It breaks my heart to remember how callously my ex treated him, and no matter how hard I tried to make us a family, and give Jordan a better life, my ex fought equally hard to break my son and I apart. I cried talking about this to Jordan, and he reassured me that I did what I felt was best for us at the time, and I had no way of knowing how it was going to turn out, and that when it got really bad I got him out of the house and ended my marriage. He says he is thankful for what he went through, because it made him who he is today. It made him more mature, it made him want to be a better person, it made him stronger, and it made him love me even more as his Mom, because he saw the hits I took and how it knocked me to the ground but I got back up and went on with my life.

And we both agreed we are happier now, we have a good life and deep inside, I know that while I have made mistakes as a parent, in the big picture I've done a pretty good job, because I have a son who has never given me an ounce of trouble (other than a few grade issues that we've fought over the years!) but he is kind and loving and respectful, and he's funny and smart and driven to succeed. Either because of me, or in spite of me, he's a wonderful young man, and I am so proud to be his mother. I thank God for him every day of my life.

You should all be so lucky!

Friday, July 25, 2008

God Bless Randy Pausch

If you don't know who he was, he wrote a book called The Last Lecture, based on his last lecture as a professor who was dying of pancreatic cancer. His story has been so inspirational, and as I read this new article, tears ran down my face. The world has lost an amazing man, but heaven has gained one heck of an angel.

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Story?id=4614281&page=1

I would make that a clickable link but for some reason, this stupid blog will not allow me to do so now. Arrrrrrrrrrgh.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

And we're back!

Back to work that is. Yesterday turned out nice. Maggie and I had a good 4 hours in the sun at the pool...





Needless to say, I got a little burnt! But that's okay, it's just on my arms, and a little on my face. Not really anywhere else.

It was just so nice to be off for a day. I haven't really taken any vacation time this year to speak of...one day to go to Vegas in April, and that's been about it. I didn't see any sense in taking a week just to stay home and do nothing, since I didn't have any plans to go anywhere. So I'm just taking a few days here and there. I'm going back to Vegas the first week of November for a few days, and might try to go to our client's condo in Marco Island, Florida for a few days maybe in August.

Somewhere, on a beach, there is a cabana boy waiting for me. LOL

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Ahhh...a day off.

And there's no sun. WTF? Maggie and I are supposed to be hanging out at the pool today! We've got it all to ourselves...so come on, sun!

Installed a cool tracker on my blog yesterday. Not only can I see how many people visit the site, but I can see where they come from as well! It's kind of interesting to monitor! I saw a visit from Cassie in Canada, and Cheri in Logan, and Mary in Virginia!!!

Speaking of Mary....she's my cousin, and my sisters and I are planning a girl's weekend with her in October! I can't wait, it should be loads of fun! Her sister Connie lives close, so the girl cousins will have a good time hanging out. It's funny....my mom had three daughters and her sister (Mary's mom) had three daughters and they are all basically the same ages. Then, of course, I came along 9 years later, so I was always the "kid sister" and too young to hang with the big girls when they all got together. Fortunately, now that we're all older, I get to sit at the adult table. LOL So Sue Ellen, Patty and I are flying down to Mary's the first weekend in October, and perhaps her other sister will be able to fly in from California to join the party. All that would be missing is my sister Linda...and she is very missed. She would have loved attending this get together. I can assure you, we will drink a lot of wine in her honor!

Still no word on the mortgage being approved for my condo buyer. But I have complete faith that the good news will come any day now. I'd love to close on it by the end of this month but I'm guessing it will be early August now. Keep those good thoughts and prayers coming...

Monday, July 21, 2008

Good Advice

I thought this was important enough for it's own blog!

I Love This Advice !!

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.

3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink plenty of water. Eat blueberries, carrots, broccoli, red beans and almonds.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. In stead invest your energy in the positive present moment and what you desire, not what you don’t desire in life.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

9. Remind yourself that minus your opinion, everything is perfect.

10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

14. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

15. No one is in control of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

17. Forgive everyone for everything. That means understanding that you cannot change what happened.

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. GOD heals absolutely everything.

20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!!!

22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.

24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Good news!

1. My mother-in-law is doing well. She may be getting out of the hospital today. The doctor feels they got all of the cancer with the removal of her right breast, lymph nodes and colon mass. She still has the lung and head/neck that she's dealing with, but two down, two to go. She's a tough old broad...LOL

2. My renter is in the mortgage process to buy my condo!!!!!!!!!! Woohoo!!!! He emailed me Monday that he needed a letter from me for underwriting verifying what he pays for rent, etc. So keep good thoughts coming my way that he'll get approved and we can close in the next couple of weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Weekend Update

Went to the Good Guys car show this weekend. Saw a car that cracked me up. This is an old BMW that seats one person. The door is the front of the car!





It was wild!!!!!!!!!! It's about as much protection as wearing a coat and roller skates!

Ooooh, good news! Finally heard from my renter, and he is working with a mortgage person to buy my condo! I had to write a letter on his behalf today as his landlord, and evidently it's going to underwriting, so with any luck I'll be closing on it in the next couple of weeks and will be out from underneath that finally! Woohooooooooooooooooo!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Good thoughts and prayers please.

My mother-in-law is having cancer surgery today to remove her right breast, and a mass in her colon. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

I'll be back later with another post about something really freaky that happened to me yesterday, but for now I'm off to shower and head to the hospital.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Booooooooooooring

Boring, boring weekend. This should be a short post!

It started out great...dinner and a movie with Penny. I miss her way too much, and we don't see each other hardly at all even when she's in town, let alone when she's traveling around the country in her retirement home. LOL. But we had such a good time. Almost blew up the car, which was good only because it was my ex's car, not mine. (Don't ask...just go with it.) Laughed our way through Sex and the City movie...identified way too much with a couple of characters! It just felt good to be with my best friend of 25 years...yes it's been that long since some friends dragged me to see a group of male strippers, and since I was madly in love with a Marine who happened to be in Japan at the time...I fell for the emcee instead. Turns out she was more of my soul mate than the Jarhead was. Our relationship has certainly lasted longer!!

Rest of the weekend was boring as hell. Seriously, didn't do a damn thing that is worth writing about. A little tanning in the pool on Saturday and Sunday pretty much covers my excitement.

I need something to be passionate about. I feel like life is just one big day to day drag. Get up, go to work, come home, watch TV and go to bed. Rinse, lather, repeat. Sad thing is, I have no motivation to do anything else, and I don't know if I'm just really depressed or really lazy. They both feel the same.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

I remember now why amusement park rides make me sick.

There is a reason why men are "ex's", and I'm rapidly remembering why "M" is on my short list of guys I don't want to date again.

Didn't talk to him Monday, and yesterday my son's key broke off in his ignition of his car, and "M" had just said over the weekend that if Jordan had any problems with his car to call him as he could more than likely fix it...so I called him. Got his machine, left a message, and said "Oh, by the way, we've narrowed dinner down to Saturday night for sure, but we can talk about that when you call me back". (As of Sunday, I still had not firmed up plans with E&M although we were shooting for a Saturday night date, with the second option being Sunday evening.)

Never heard a word last night. And I'm thinking...hmmmm...clearly you didn't work til midnight (can't really landscape in the dark) so why wouldn't you call me back? Immediate red flag starts flying...it's flaky behavior like that, that made me dump him after three years the first time around.

So this morning I called him on my way to work to wish him a Happy Divorce Day, and he says "Oh, did you get my email?"

No....what email?

"I emailed you Monday night. I'm going to have to cancel dinner on Saturday."

Hmmm....nope, didn't get the memo.

"Oh, well I didn't get a lot of work done Monday because it was too wet from all the rain and so now I have to work the Friday the 4th, and Saturday as well".

Oh. Alrighty then. Have a good day. Click.

What the hell else was I going to say?? Didn't you just tell me over the weekend how you are finally able to work less, relax more, etc? And now you're telling me that you can't landscape until maybe 6pm, go home and take a shower and go to dinner at 7:30? Seriously????? When we are trying to get a relationship off the ground and you can't work your schedule around it, and instead will cancel on me and embarrass me in front of my best friend and her fiance, because I have to tell them now that Mr. Hot & Cold is up to his old tricks again, and is as flaky as ever?? SERIOUSLY???

I'll bet if I hadn't held out on Sunday, he'd go. But since I am not willing to just jump back in to the middle of a relationship, he's not willing to wait around and give it time. So, contrary to what he's said to me, evidently he's not interested in marrying "me", he's just got a position (wife) that has come available that he's looking to fill as quickly as possible. And I'm not moving fast enough, I guess.

No worries though, at this point I'm on warp speed heading out the door, pal.